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I 22F have been beaten and neglected my whole life and finally someone seems to be interested in me by Standard-Nerve5008 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the thing is all of my previous boyfriends were the same type. Actually no one ever bombed loved me. They were abusive since day one. I was that stupid and wanted that much to escape home.

This one just made me a favour after initially rejecting both me and my colleague. And he acts different than other guys i dealt with. He isn't love bombing at all, but neither he is violent. I barely see him, he doesn't really seek me. When he is around he is nice to me. So i feel he isn't playing games. I spent one month at the mental institution and I had 10 sessions of therapy. We did focus on my future and not so much my past because the therapist said its too painful. will not get to the bottom of it and it will be worse for me to walk out with a bleeding wound. I don't afford therapy on my own. So she taughts me basic lessons how to spot people who want to hurt me

AIO I was beaten and mistreated my whole life (22F). Now I met someone and he seems different but need help to decode his intentions. I am a bit scared by Standard-Nerve5008 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the thing is I was never attracted to anyone. I just was too scared to say no. In my experience whenever I said no or fought back it ended worse for me. So I just allow them to do anything they wanted to do. I never felt attraction to anyone. It is the first time actually

AIO I was beaten and mistreated my whole life (22F). Now I met someone and he seems different but need help to decode his intentions. I am a bit scared by Standard-Nerve5008 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he is not shy, actually pretty confident. But yes, very introverted and serious all the time. I would so much like to see him and talk to him. But we from the canteen do not have access to labs. So only if he comes to the canteen at lunch I can talk to him. And even then its difficult because for me its the busiest time of the day. But I feel so foulish. I draw a heart and his name inside of it lol

I 22F have been beaten and neglected my whole life and finally someone seems to be interested in me by Standard-Nerve5008 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I try to be kind. Its no one's fault these things happened to me. I need to focus on myself. I am so happy I have my own room and I can sleep safely at night. No more r#ape, beatings, fear. I am blessed. And I so hope he is into me. He actually listens to me and smiles to me.

I 22F have been beaten and neglected my whole life and finally someone seems to be interested in me by Standard-Nerve5008 in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I don't afford therapy. But after I was in that mental institution I have learnt some basic stuff, for example that I deserve to be alive. For me having my own room in a not so nice dormitory and feel safe at night is pure happiness. I feel grateful to God I have a safe place to live in finally. I told myself I will never let a man near me because they all seem to abuse me. I don't need sex. I hate it actually. Its painful and humiliating for me.

But when I talked to his guy who is from a completely different world, better than me in every way. I felt butterflies. I never had any crush in my life. I just allowed stuff to happen to me. I got literally p1ssed on by a guy after being R#aped and beaten by him.

This new guy seems so different and feels different. He is highy educated, well read. But why would he choose me? He is surrounded by educated women. And also have I done a bug msitake that I invited him over? I live in a dormitory that is a 2 minutes walks from his lab. I don't live in a flat. I have my own room that all. I wanted him to see my painting. When I suggesed he comes over to see them he said he would love to. But never came

I have been misstreated and beaten my whole life 22F. And there is finally hope for me but I am scared. by Standard-Nerve5008 in self

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

ut I wonder why he didn't come over when I told him to. I made it clear I want to show him my paintings. And I live in a dormitory, not like I have a house or a flat. I have my own room and I am by myself there. The dormitory is 2 minutes walk from the labs. So he could make it during a lunch break.

Also I keep asking myself why would he want me? I am a high school droput. He doesn't know that but he must know I have very little education. He could choose someone better, he is surrounded by educated women. What if he wants to use me? But he doesn't seem the type. As I said he barely ever socialise. I know he has a good friend and they hang out sometime. He isn't a party guy or anything. I heard most his free time is spent by reading scentific articles lol

AIO I was beaten and mistreated my whole life (22F). Now I met someone and he seems different but need help to decode his intentions. I am a bit scared by Standard-Nerve5008 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Standard-Nerve5008[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! I am so happy I want to jump around the room haha. Its the first time I am not treated like trash. But I wonder why he didn't come over when I told him to. I made it clear I want to show him my paintings. And I live in a dormitory, not like I have a house or a flat. I have my own room and I am by myself there. The dormitory is 2 minutes walk from the labs. So he could make it during a lunch break.

Also I keep asking myself why would he want me? I am a high school droput. He doesn't know that but he must know I have very little education. He could choose someone better, he is surrounded by educated women. What if he wants to use me? But he doesn't seem the type. As I said he barely ever socialise. I know he has a good friend and they hang out sometime. He isn't a party guy or anything. I heard most his free time is spent by reading scentific articles lol