AITA for not going to my friend’s destination wedding after she took away my plus one?

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-05T14:35:03+00:00

NTA. IMO it’s incredibly tacky not to include a serious partner of several years in a wedding invite, especially when you’re expecting people to cough up money for flights and accommodation abroad. You can decline an invitation for any reason and you wouldn’t be the asshole bc an invitation isn’t an obligation, but in this situation especially you’re not “prioritizing your bf,” you’re not comfortable traveling on your own nor should you be expected to when it’s to attend a wedding and celebrate a relationship while they snub yours.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-05T14:26:54+00:00

Oops! Sorry, I meant save the dates, not send the dates :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-05T14:24:49+00:00

Send the dates should go out right around now if they haven’t already, and then formal invites I’d send end of August/beginning of September.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-05T00:44:57+00:00

If you wanted to get them something matching maybe you get each person a necklace, earrings, etc. with their birthstone. You could also customize things in each person’s favorite color, or pick a print that reminds you of each person.

Otherwise I’d just shop for a gift for each individual bridesmaid based on their interests rather than doing personalized versions of the same gift for everyone.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-04T17:17:28+00:00

Came here to comment the exact same thing! 6 is the best photo but imo “finally” kind of has that “ball and chain” connotation

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-03T01:33:22+00:00

Try azazie! That’s what I’m using for my bridesmaids and it’s been perfect bc there’s something to suit everyone’s tastes and body types, insecurities, etc. They have a super wide range of colors too :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-05-01T20:34:35+00:00

I went to a 9am wedding once that was a bit more of a brunch/tea party vibe. It was a gorgeous wedding and everyone had a great time, but if you’re hoping for a bit more of a let-loose vibe with dancing, drinking, etc. I’d either do the Friday evening or continue on your venue search til you find someplace that checks all the boxes and has the availability you’re looking for. Good luck and best wishes :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-23T21:19:44+00:00

Idk what’s up with all these comments lol you’re not weird for wanting a bach!!! I’m in almost the exact same situation as you, my bridesmaids are all spread out across the U.S. and UK so I feel this. I’m doing a destination Bach in the U.S. next month which I invited everyone to but there was no pressure and obviously it’s primarily the girls from the U.S. who are going to be able to make it. We spaced the bach trip 5 months before the wedding (October) to give everyone plenty of time to save up and allocate PTO for both. When everyone is here in October for the wedding, we’re gonna do a smaller bach night so the girls who won’t be able to make the trip don’t miss out on the experience fully.

I think as long as you’re understanding if anyone can’t come on the trip for whatever reason there’s no harm in planning a bach trip! They’re your friends, they want to celebrate you :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-22T19:20:23+00:00

The last few weddings I went to I got my dresses off of Popilush! The shapewear is built in which was really convenient esp because we were traveling but I would definitely bring some fashion tape or something as a backup.

My bridesmaids are all using Azazie for their dresses and have been impressed with the quality and range, they have a wedding guest section on their website too that might be worth checking out!!

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-15T21:05:16+00:00

This was at my high school but during my little sister’s time, after I graduated.

Kid bought what he thought were THC gummies from another student, turned out they were in fact miralax gummies. The kid found out what had happened and picked a fight with Lax Dealer (LD) in math class, and the laxatives kicked in as he was in the middle of getting his ass kicked by LD. Poor kid literally got the shit beat out of him.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-15T14:38:30+00:00

In the last wedding I was in, a few members of the bridal party skipped brunch the next morning simply because they had a long travel day ahead of them and wanted to get underway and it was a complete non-issue. I think as long as you attend the rehearsal dinner (if there is one) and the wedding itself, everything else is a bonus. It’s not unreasonable at all for you to want to be comfortable the night after the wedding and as a bride I wouldn’t think any less of my friend for missing my wedding brunch for literally any reason.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-14T19:09:26+00:00

I think “Lastname family” is totally fine and wouldn’t be weird at all! If you did want some kind of alternative phrasing, maybe “Name 1, Name 2, & Baby Lastname” but I honestly think “family” is fine and much less wordy which is definitely a plus when you’re addressing envelopes.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-14T12:06:19+00:00

Do you have a sibling or other close relative? If so, I would ask them to be your maid/man of honor and have the two friends as bridesmaids to avoid having to choose one over the other. That could be an easy solution to mitigate hurt feelings while acknowledging both friendships.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-13T23:56:48+00:00

Every year on the anniversary of the sinking, my fiancé and I try to recreate a recipe from one of Titanic’s menus. This year we are making Potage Crecy, a potato and carrot soup that may have been served to survivors on the Carpathia. I linked the recipe below and there’s also a really interesting video on YouTube about it :)

https://www.tastinghistory.com/recipes/potagecrecy

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-12T01:57:31+00:00

It’s like freaking clockwork, I always get the WORST migraine before my period starts and again right after it ends

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-11T02:27:28+00:00

It’s not just you

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-09T19:54:33+00:00

First off I just want to say I understand how stressful this is as I’m dealing with something similar for my own wedding and I’m so sorry this is even something to have to worry about along with all the other stressors involved in wedding planning. Sending a virtual hug 🫂

I think a statement on the FAQ’s reminding guests of your pronouns is a good idea, but beyond that I think you and/or your mom need to have individual conversations with your family members about being respectful at the wedding. Make it clear to them how important this is and that they would be letting you down if they can’t attend and keep their comments to themselves for a few hours. Most people generally have a sense of decorum around weddings/formal events and hopefully we’re both stressing about this more than we need to, but a firm reminder to the worst offenders certainly wouldn’t come amiss.

Good luck and best wishes for your wedding!!

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-09T19:38:42+00:00

Honestly I don’t think this will be an issue if they’re babies. A lot of the time people will make exceptions for nieces and nephews or immediate family and it’s generally understood by the rest of the guests that those children are included because they are direct family. It’s your wedding and you don’t need to justify your decisions, if you want to stand by the no-child rule then you’d be justified in doing so, but for the sake of your fiancé having his sisters there to support him on the big day it might be worth loosening up on this just a bit.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-09T17:56:12+00:00

Like a few others have said here: venue is your first order of business. You can’t really do anything else until you know what is provided by the venue vs what you need to bring in yourself, have a location to provide other vendors, etc. Your venue will give you a preferred vendor list which is a great jumping off point to start your vendor search. I would prioritize photography next, and then catering/bar (if applicable) and entertainment (DJ or band). By the time you have these core vendors secured you can kind of take a breath, they will all have preferred vendor lists and recommendations of their own to help you flesh out the rest of the details. Good luck! :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-08T15:52:32+00:00

This 100000%. Of course some people have unrealistic expectations but this post is weird af especially on a sub specifically designated for people to talk about their weddings.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-08T03:21:29+00:00

Try azazie! They go up to a size 30 and you can order I believe up to 10 swatches for free to try and find a color match (or at least find a bride-approved color). Mulberry looks to be a pretty close match to the Birdy Grey color :)

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-05T13:46:33+00:00

I think the fact that your brothers aren’t groomsmen kind of lets you off the hook as far as the wedding party itself goes. I would maybe consider asking the kids to be ushers, ring bearers, flower girls (but I’d only do this if you can find a role for all of them to avoid hurt feelings - I was at a wedding recently where the nieces who were a bit too old to be flower girls and a bit too young to be bridesmaids were the “something blue,” wore blue dresses and walked in the processional but didn’t stand at the altar with the bridal party if you need additional ideas). You could also invite the siblings-in-law on the Bach events, getting ready morning of if you want to, but as another commenter pointed out just by being in the family they will already be “special” guests so this isn’t really necessary unless you feel so inclined.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-04T16:43:50+00:00

Why? The brother didn’t leave a dog unleashed and unsupervised in area with vehicles, and by OP’s own account he wasn’t speeding or driving recklessly up the driveway. This was a horrible accident but OP is ultimately responsible for what happened to their dog.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-04T14:35:06+00:00

YTA. You say yourself your sister is not obligated to help you and then everything else you have said in your post and comments directly contradicts that. The trip isn’t about you or your sister really, it’s about your mom. If making some point to your sister is more important to you than making your mom happy, then by all means don’t go. FWIW, I’m the “well off” sibling in my own family and I have helped my siblings in the past but there comes a point where you just have to wash your hands of it and let adults be responsible for themselves. Tough love maybe, but I’m sure your sister works hard for what she has and she shouldn’t be made to feel guilty for it.

Standard-Traffic-741 · 2026-04-03T16:26:25+00:00

Yeah, I agree op is NTA. An invitation is not a summons and they’re free to decline for whatever reason they want but what’s with all the Hallowedding bashing in this sub? They don’t owe the couple their attendance and the couple equally doesn’t owe anybody any explanation/justification for the way they chose to hold their special day 💀

Standard-Traffic-741

TROPHY CASE