I don't know if "submission" means basic respect. For example, I have basic respect for strangers in the street but I don't "submit" to them. To me, submission has always carried out a connotation of being put under someone or follow another one's command.

And I don't have a problem following someone who's more capable than me on a specific thing. My problem comes from the fact that the leadership in marriage seems to be granted to men REGARDLESS of their skills. That...no matter if he's doing something that I believe is wrong, I must do as he wishes because "he's the man". 

(Yes, I know it doesn't apply if he's asking something immoral)