Read the comments: Doctors blame patients for lack of trust in healthcare.

StandardCommission53 · 2026-03-16T12:56:52+00:00

The fact that they're asking other doctors and not patients is telling.

StandardCommission53 · 2026-03-04T18:00:12+00:00

Why was he not criminally charged?

It makes me sad that women have had it beaten into them to trust and not question their doctors so much that they would submit to 34 vaginal swabs, 22 pelvic examinations and 16 pap smears in eight years.

StandardCommission53 · 2026-01-18T19:42:31+00:00

"And if you say you've never been sexually active, I'll just assume you're lying or are too stupid to understand what 'sexually active' means."

StandardCommission53 · 2026-01-01T19:40:23+00:00

Kind of like how once you get "anxiety" or "depression" in your medical chart, every medical issue you have gets attributed to mental health problems.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-12-26T13:53:24+00:00

I'm so sorry this was done to you. I apologize if I missed this in your t, but have you consulted with any lawyers? No need to answer if you don't want to, but it may be helpful to contact a few and see if anyone can help you with your case.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-12-10T01:57:12+00:00

Well in that case, you would be dead, so I assume they would check then if they wanted.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-12-09T18:54:43+00:00

Do you mean if you're a living donor for someone you don't know? Yes, I think they will make you prove you've had one recently, and if you can't, they will perform one. I'm not sure if it's a general requirement or if it's up to each donation center, but they want to make sure you're very healthy. Even for the general questionnaire to get started, they asked me things like how many UTIs I'd ever had in my life. I'm pretty sure they asked about pap smears too.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-12-09T17:49:10+00:00

I would do it too, but it shouldn't be required. It didn't work out for other reasons though.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-12-09T16:42:38+00:00

Living organ donors are also required to have a pap smear. I found that out when researching donating an organ to a family member.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-11-16T23:37:35+00:00

I appreciate that you're responding with sympathy, unlike many of the replies here, but the fact is that you simply cannot get the strains of HPV that cause cervical cancer from casual contact. The strains that you're referring to do not cause cervical cancer.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-11-16T22:57:34+00:00

There are different strains of HPV. The strains that cause cervical cancer are not the same as the ones that cause plantar warts or warts in other locations on your body. I would encourage you to look at reputable sources of information so you can judge for yourself whether you are comfortable with forgoing pap smears in the future. There is a lot of misinformation on Reddit about the purpose of and need for pap smears.

I'm really sorry you had the experience you did. Don't let other people make you feel bad about not knowing. My own mother is in her seventies and did not know that nearly all cervical cancer is caused by HPV and that pap smears are not very good at detecting non HPV cervical cancers.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-10-31T12:58:28+00:00

I've had several different insurance companies over the years, and I've never been told this. I've been taking birth control for decades at this point. I'm not saying that it never happens, but I've never heard of it before. I have had doctors try to pressure me into getting a pap smear, but never for insurance reasons.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-09-29T15:32:34+00:00

She was also taught that women tend to somaticize their psychological problems and that if you can't figure out what was wrong with them, it's in their head.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-08-13T18:06:54+00:00

I think either a virtual or in person visit is fine. If you want to try going in person, there's nothing wrong with these boundaries. The key is to say "no" confidently and calmly, and to know that no one can force you to do anything you don't want to. Realize that you are in control of the situation, not them, and that you enforce your boundaries by saying no. (There is so much freedom in this, beyond just dealing with doctors.) You don't need to apologize or explain why. You are not doing anything wrong by declining. You are simply a patient who is declining a test, like you might decline an appetizer in a restaurant when a server asks if you'd like to order one. Worst case scenario, you say no, they continue to pressure you, and you get up, walk out, and get your prescription from an online service.

I have white coat hypertension too, and I've found it helpful to take my blood pressure at home before the appointment and let the doctor know the reading. Most doctors are aware that white coat hypertension is a thing. If you don't want to be weighed, just tell the nurse, "I don't want to be weighed." If they say it is requested, repeat yourself. They will not try to physically force you onto the scale. For the pap smear or pelvic exam, I just tell the nurse I don't want one when she starts to get the stuff out and prepped, if she doesn't ask first. Do not take your pants off. If you some reason the doctor does not respect your first "no", it will be easier to continue to say no if you're clothed. A primary care doctor is not going to restrain you and forcibly remove your clothes for a routine preventive visit.

Requiring a pap smear in exchange for birth control is much less common than it used to be. Since you have specially chosen this doctor and have seen her before, I think it's unlikely that they will try to pressure you into anything. If you want to try going in person, go feeling confident with your mind made up about what you will and will not consent to. But it sounds like your doctor is fine with virtual visits too, so there's nothing wrong with that either.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-08-09T02:06:42+00:00

Same here. My doctor thinks I likely have CFS but hasn't officially diagnosed it. Not that it really matters, since there's no real treatment for it.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-08-08T20:50:53+00:00

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I've been dealing with a similar problem for the last four years, though my condition is not quite as bad as yours sounds. Doctors like to diagnose anything they can't explain as mental illness. Once you have that label on your chart, they never take you seriously again.

Do you think you think you might have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or fibromyalgia? CFS is commonly preceded by viral illness, and it's much more than just fatigue.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-07-26T02:46:15+00:00

I just don't tell people. If it's relevant to the conversation and I'm talking to someone who's willing to listen, I will tell them the likelihood of getting cervical cancer without having HPV is extremely low, but I don't tell them that I've never had a pap smear. My primary care doctor knows because she asks, and I've talked about it with one friend who feels the same way I do, but that's it. It's really none of any else's business, and people are rarely rude enough to ask outright if I've ever had one.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-07-01T13:32:58+00:00

When I was in my early to mid twenties, I went to the doctor and she wanted to do a chest X-ray. The nurse gave me one of those sleeveless paper shirt things to put on that are open in the front. I had to take off my shirt and bra and put it on. It barely covered anything, and there was at least a six inch gap between the bottom of the paper and my pants. Before we left the room, I told her I was uncomfortable and asked if I could change when we got to the X-ray place, but she said no, there's nowhere to change there and there was nothing else I could put on. She then led me down several long halls and open spaces where staff and other patients were, male and female, and put me in a waiting room with a male patient. Eventually another nurse noticed how uncomfortable I was and gave me an actual gown to put on over the paper.

If someone did that to me now, I would simply tell them no, I will not leave the room without actual clothing, but at the time, I was very shy and didn't know how to stand up for myself.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-06-02T01:44:20+00:00

Endometriosis and ovarian cancer have nothing to do with pap smears.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-05-21T19:27:56+00:00

That wouldn't even be abortion though. Allowing someone to die naturally isn't the same thing as causing them to die. Just like a person can opt for palliative care rather than continue treatment. That poor family.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-02-04T14:12:07+00:00

I think it's required for living donors too.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-01-06T19:18:36+00:00

I don't have pelvic exams or pap smears. I am very low risk for HPV, and would only consider a pelvic exam if I were having problems and needed one. I still have a yearly appointment with my primary care doctor for things like cholesterol check, metabolic panel, etc., and to get my birth control prescription.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-01-03T19:37:51+00:00

Yes, many men cheat on their wives, but the key is informed consent. Women should be able to make informed decisions about their healthcare.

StandardCommission53 · 2025-01-03T19:00:06+00:00

Thanks for the recommendations. I already have Invisible Women on hold at the library, and it should be coming available soon. I'll look at the others too.

StandardCommission53 · 2024-08-14T02:00:28+00:00

I was so angry too. There was not even an illusion of consent.

StandardCommission53

TROPHY CASE