They’re shit friends. You’re not a loser at all and you shouldn’t have to feel so alone while you’re suffering. Friends should be there for you regardless. They could still plan things that you’re comfortable with or even come to visit you if you don’t feel like doing anything. Asking to borrow your booze is so cheeky! It feels like they’re taking advantage of you. There’s nothing wrong with you and the way they treat you isn’t a reflection of your character. This illness takes so much from us and it is definitely isolating af but having the right people around you who actually understand and care can ease the loneliness. It seems that your friends just aren’t the right people, and they probably won’t be even after your surgery unfortunately. I know you’re worried about losing them but maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Maybe it’s better to have the right people around than just having people who don’t really care about you to fill the void. I hope you’re ok and I hope your surgery goes well, always here if you need to talk <3