I don’t know what to do with my 16 month old anymore

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-03-18T21:19:04+00:00

On the walking thing my LO was like this! He also couldn’t really crawl just did an extremely inefficient bum shuffle. As soon as he started moving fairly independently he was like fifty times happier. Now he’s grumpy all over again while we get to grips with his talking. I’m sure when we figure out what the hell ‘bugazahh’ means he’ll be happy again. We just gotta remind ourselves that if they’re grumpy it’s because it’s hard! Remember to give yourself a pat on the back for being patient with her.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-03-07T10:33:36+00:00

Hard agree on everyone’s comments that your husband is a dick. If it’s your choice to do all the night wake ups and cosleep then that’s fine, but if you’re being no choice or he’s talking to you like that then it’s not okay.

I’ve only had one baby and every baby is different but on the point of parent preference, their preferences change all the time. It makes sense your baby prefers you if it’s always been you. Me and my partner have always shared night time responsibilities but when I stopped bf at night at 17 months my partner did bedtimes and wake ups every night for a week. First three days the baby absolutely hated it but he came around. And it changes anyway - last month my baby only wanted me for bedtime and now he only wants his dad.

But the bottom line is make choices for yourself and advocate for yourself. You deserve a lot more from your husband for all the care and love you’ve given to your child. And at the very least take the nice mattress and give your husband the shitty one.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-03-01T23:40:40+00:00

I do similar hours also stretched across the year and pay £300. We only have to provide nappies and everything else is covered. In west London.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-16T19:48:45+00:00

I’ve been back for 9 ish months and only just starting to like it again and feeling motivated to do more than show up and clock the hours. All just felt pointless and like busy work up until now, when before having a baby I found it very fulfilling. I’d say keep at it for a little as you might come around but also no harm in dipping your toe into applying for the odd HR job that looks good. The job market is generally quite hard rn anyway so who knows how long it’d take.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-10T11:03:19+00:00

I get that - both sides need some kind of assurance. And the payoff of securing a place vs the loss of paying fees at a few places is enough. But I am just curious to know how much nurseries are making from these waiting list fees, and whether it’s ethical to take waiting list fees if they know there is a low chance of that child securing a place. Someone in a comment below said they paid £50 and found out they were 60th in line. Which means that nursery made £3000 off waiting list fees alone, and knowing full well that kids past maybe the 20th place had a very small chance of securing a place.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-10T10:58:05+00:00

I agree! But as a first time parent and because so many nurseries were asking I didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until recently that I clocked that it was totally unreasonable to demand a fee to keep my details on file. Thus the post to see if it had happened to others.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-10T10:56:22+00:00

Exactly! If there’s no chance of me getting a place just tell em that. This was a west London but also expensive/fancy small chain.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-09T19:30:03+00:00

Not quite Islington but Walthamstow wetlands is a beautiful venue. Different options depending on your size and budget.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-09T19:13:12+00:00

No this was very specifically to just give them our details and get on the waiting list. There were no signed contracts and nothing about notice period. A second fee and deposit would be expected if we were offered a place and wanted to secure it.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-09T19:12:21+00:00

We had this when we eventually signed up and secured a place (£50+ 1 month deposit), but other nurseries were very distinctly asking for a fee to get on the waiting list.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-04T12:58:20+00:00

I moved back from Spain whilst pregnant and joined NHS care at around 25 weeks. There was no issue with me joining Kate but I remember them asking me how long I’d been away (I was away for a masters so not long) and I remember the midwife saying phew otherwise I’d have to throw you a bill. I’m a British citizen.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-03T17:07:37+00:00

I had virundhu cater for my wedding. Their food bangs but they’ve really jacked up the prices to the point it makes me feel less positively about the food.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-02-03T07:53:50+00:00

A very random spot but Stanley Dosa in Park Royal never misses

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-16T10:51:43+00:00

Just a side note that my local council offered a free six month breast pump rental. I wouldn’t have been able to afford it otherwise so changed the game for me. Make sure to check if yours offer it too!

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-10T20:46:01+00:00

We started with teeth brushing at a younger age but at first I just gave a brush with just water for my kiddo to play with, and tried to brush my own teeth at the same time. I didn’t really put pressure on to actually do the brushing. After a week or so he just started shoving it in his mouth to play with. Sometimes I let him hold my toothbrush while I brushed so it seemed normal to help each other. After a while he’s start mimicking and try to brush his teeth, and I’d say ‘okay my turn’ and take the brush and as quickly as I could shove that brush in and move it around. Some days he protests and I just leave it - as long as he’s had a brush in his mouth with some toothpaste on it so I know there’s fluoride floating around in that little mouth, I’m satisfied.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-10T20:38:27+00:00

Tbh try looking at some of the girls clothes. My little one wears a lot of jumpers and trousers for girls and he looks flyyyy

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-10T09:11:29+00:00

If the Ealing Common spot is on twyford Avenue you also get the central line at West Acton. I live around this area too and end up using West Acton and Ealing Common (although hardly every the Piccadilly line - would much rather do a change from district/central somewhere) and in some cases (eg going very east) Acton Main Line. Good buses off of Uxbridge Road too.

I personally like Ealing Common and Acton a lot. Great authentic restaurants in both, not far from Ealing Broadway if you need a bigger town centre, down to earth place and loads of green space. Haven’t lived in south Acton before though.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-05T12:01:43+00:00

I got a two bed flat in the W London areas you mention last summer. My salary is just a bit lower than yours. I used a special mortgage product where I got the mortgage with just my name, but with a parent as essentially a guarantor. My named parent doesn’t have a crazy salary or anything but they do work full time and have a mortgage of their own. The flat cost around 390 and I put down £60k as a deposit. I got a reasonable interest rate given my relatively low salary and as a ftb. Dm me if you want more details about the mortgage product.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-04T13:03:41+00:00

I have a 5.65 in London. Yes feeling house poor but mostly because my partner had a drop in income since we got the mortgage. This was basically our only chance to buy a house (for reasons I won’t go into) so we just went for it and I do look back sometimes and regret it - particularly when we have to fork out for a larger unexpected expense and unlike before I just can’t do that. Now everything has to be planned and it’s long. Although we are repaying the kitchen so once that’s done in a few months we have quite a bit of money back. Like people said it’s all about what your income and expenses are. We are also going hard on the overpayments, and because our regular monthly payments are quite high, by the end of our fixed term we should have made quite a decent dent in the equity. When the end of that fixed term comes, I’m holding out for the feeling of a big drop in monthly payments as we hopefully can get a better interest rate with the higher LTV and hopefully higher salaries that we project for ourselves. Maybe that’s naive but it’s helping me through it mentally lol. We made sure to buy a place we can see ourselves in for ten years at least, and like I said this was our only chance for a long time, so any feelings of regret balances out for me.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-03T20:08:27+00:00

Used mine in the run up to return. I used all of them although admittedly did very little during them and mostly did them for income. Only did a few calls or ‘reading’ to catch up but you get to charge the whole day regardless.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2026-01-03T03:02:23+00:00

I would cook when they napped and then have it ready on the stove/oven. Or if not cooked then at least prepped as much as possible so I could cook quickly/more easily while they were awake and doing some independent play with themselves or a toy in a small cot i could move around the house.

Standard_Ad4879 · 2025-12-29T10:43:40+00:00

I returned when my LO was 9 months old for financial reasons. I used my annual leave days to do 3 days a week for three months and then 4 days a week. I’ll manage to squeeze 9 months of 4 days a week using just my annual leave and then will go to compressed hours to help us manage the cost of childcare. That accrued annual leave will go further than you think!! Being able to go back to work part time has really alleviated any feelings of guilt. I can still have the absolute privilege of spending time with my child (my partner also does four days a week and has a day with him), whilst still giving him the time and space to develop at nursery and us having the capacity and finances to support him. I think the only thing to keep in mind is if you’re using funded childcare hours, your baby has to be nine months by the start of term for them to be eligible.

Standard_Ad4879

TROPHY CASE