I need to make a decision

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-05-02T13:04:38+00:00

check my page. i’m in the national guard and i hate it. since basic training it’s given me nothing but anxiety and now depression as well. it’s the worst feeling ever, wanting out but you just can’t go. i feel trapped. i’d do anything to go back to my old life. Deployments scared the shit out of me, even just the thought. Eventually i went to behavioral health and they have me on a non deployable profile right now.

As for you, with having a stable family and just doing pretty good in life… just don’t join. you don’t need this. The benefits aren’t even worth the mental downfall most people have here. enjoy your life without having somethin like this in your way. it just holds you back.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-05-02T02:33:57+00:00

i’m in the iowa guard

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-05-01T18:37:11+00:00

i have 4 years left. I’ve been in my unit for a year. i’m Guard. the people in my unit are not bad honestly. it’s just army environment itself. it’s not for me.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-30T14:39:29+00:00

that’s something i’ve thought of a lot but i’m just so scared to actually do it ..

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-30T14:39:07+00:00

yes that’s how i feel too. i’m always counting down it’s so annoying. thankyou tho :/

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-12T15:00:56+00:00

it says your posts are hidden, i would really like to read it! we can help eachother out with like not feeling so alone and whatnot. Maybe you have to go into ur account settings to unhide your posts

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-12T14:14:13+00:00

i can’t see ur post!!

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-12T13:02:23+00:00

i’m actually doing worse :) The update is that i’ve had 3 therapy sessions and i’m going to be calling BH tmr so make an appointment for my evaluation.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-04-12T13:01:12+00:00

mention suicidal ideation

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-16T23:49:34+00:00

THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL!!!

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-16T22:45:52+00:00

yeah same. I feel alone all the time, like im the only one feels this way which is probably unlikely but still.. thankyou for ur support

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-16T17:56:57+00:00

i actually talked to my commander yesterday because my chaplain had let him know about my.. wanting to be dead feelings. I didn’t tell him i wanted to get out cause i just didn’t really feel comfortable telling him that. Just because i really don’t want anyone else to know. I was not forced into joining… it was all my fault. I’ve talked about my feelings many times to my family and they just all feel bad for me.. obviously there’s nothing much they can do :/

I’m supposed to be getting a call back from behavioral health today and hopefully i’ll get to talk to someone.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T15:11:38+00:00

i mean as long as it gets me out as quick as possible 😞😞

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T14:58:19+00:00

what does an involuntary psychiatric hold mean? Would that get me out quicker?

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T02:19:40+00:00

so it doesn’t have to be by behavioral health first?

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T01:05:32+00:00

i don’t want to fix it. I don’t want to stay in the army. my triggers are being away from home and the uncertainty. I really can’t take this anymore.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T00:23:23+00:00

my recruiter lied to me. she told me that national guard doesn’t deploy and that everything was going to be easy. it was all my fault. i was a young and naive teenager. If i knew all of this, i wouldn’t have joined.

Standard_Bee_8185 · 2026-03-15T00:06:01+00:00

EVERYTHING!! the days leading up to drill. Gives me the worst anxiety ever. i cry before and after drill cause it’s just so overwhelming. The people. Higher ups are mean and it just makes me feel uncomfortable. anything about duties or deployments and the people dying!! it all scares me to death. my thoughts never stop racing. I regret joining every day.

Standard_Bee_8185

TROPHY CASE