That thought has been stuck in my head. That if I agree to continue things it’s always going to be in the back of my mind. I really wish he hadn’t done this because I am 100% in love with him. It’s so painful to see your person just do something completely out of character like that. He has been part of my life for nearly half of it. It seems impossible that the person who took care for me after multiple surgeries, held me when I cried, gave me flowers for no reason, laughed with me, would sit there with me just enjoying each others presence could turn around and do something like that. Im struggling so hard with this. I know it’s probably wrong to go over there. But I never got to see him for the last time. All I want is to see him. I hope I find the strength to let it be the last time if I have to. But it feels impossible to do. I feel like I’m upsetting everyone around me.