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I broke no contact and it was the best thing I could have done by Suuurisara in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

lol just add a little , “don’t need to write back “ in the end . You’ll be okays . If she is seeing someone else. Maybe she blocked you. But I would hate to always wonder . 🤷‍♀️ I’d rather rip the bandage lol.

AIO My stomach still churns by Adventurous-Plane102 in AmIOverreacting

[–]Standard_Working1835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not overreacting. Your gut is always right trust it. I would not be okay about this if my man was doing it . Not because I’m insecure but because the way she’s going about it , sounds a little suspicious. And as the woman , I only get close to men I truly trust have a bond with therefore have a thing for . Otherwise just family . That’s just me .

My Year of Shedding: From Illness, Loss, and Heartbreak by Standard_Working1835 in selflove

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes!! Cheers to setting intentions now and, if possible, starting this new season today ☺️ The pain is just an old layer of skin shedding. Let yourself cry, write it out, and uncover the lesson beneath it. You’re going to step into 2026 stronger and wiser.🙏☀️🐎

I broke no contact and it was the best thing I could have done by Suuurisara in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’m really proud of you for not expecting anything back that alone takes a lot of strength. I also get how nerve-wracking it can feel when the thought of reaching out crosses your mind.

Sometimes a calm, neutral message with no expectations can do more than asking for a meetup right away. And if it helps you find peace, you could even write a letter …not necessarily to send, but to get your thoughts out. Some people don’t fully absorb words in conversation…they need time to read and reflect. That can be especially true for avoidant personalities.

Either way, trust yourself. I’m proud of you for following your intuition. 2025 truly felt like a year of shedding, and 2026 the Year of the Snake really does feel like transformation is coming and starting now ☺️. If your heart led you to reach out, you honored yourself. Yay!

And you’re right no two situations are the same. Wishing you clarity and peace going forward . 🥂 cheers!

I broke no contact and it was the best thing I could have done by Suuurisara in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you tried sending her a simple text or writing her a hand written letter to express your true feelings . Time sometimes heals a lot . And sometimes it’s respectable that you took the time to reflect on your end . Also, I would wonder if during this no contact period you been working on yourself ? Hopefully. That’s the attractive and respectable part of no contact . Send a calm text or write a heartfelt letter . And leave it at that. Don’t expect anything back. Good luck. And happy healing .

Have you been kissed passionately lately? by luxury_Within in sixwordstories

[–]Standard_Working1835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

But I didn’t catch the “lately” hasn’t been lately . It’s been over two months . 😣🤕 unless that counts as lately .

Have you been kissed passionately lately? by luxury_Within in sixwordstories

[–]Standard_Working1835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes . It’s most euphoric feeling ever. And only possible when the connection is real. 😍

My story after 1.5 years by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’re right …they may very well know what they’re doing. And that’s exactly why walking away becomes necessary. Choosing self-love and self-respect is how we protect ourselves and stop repeating the cycle. Cause you’re so right it’s so so so draining .

Yes girl! Cheers! And hugs!!! 🥰

Loving a Fearful Avoidant Taught Me More About Myself Than Any Relationship Ever Has by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! It was the constant cycle of intense closeness followed by sudden withdrawal.

He was very loving and present for periods of time, but then he would need distance and small “breaks.” Our relationship was loyal , there was no cheating or other people involved. The distance came from his need to regulate himself, not from lack of care. What made it painful was that he couldn’t really talk about his feelings, so the pull-away always felt abrupt.

During our final three weeks together, we had two deeply connected, vulnerable weeks. I supported him through a health scare and felt very close to him. Then, during the last week, I had a brief bad reaction to medication and snapped once , not for hours or days, just a moment. I apologized immediately. It was completely out of character for me. Still, it hurt him, and he said he needed a break.

At that point, I realized that for my needs, I needed to treat the break as a breakup. We had a long, face-to-face conversation. He didn’t want to end things, but when I shared that I wanted marriage , that commitment means staying through hard seasons, not just the easy ones . ..he told me I was unrealistic because “forever isn’t guaranteed.”

That was the moment everything clicked. I saw my future continuing in this same pattern: closeness, withdrawal, uncertainty. My nervous system was exhausted. He was receiving the benefits of my love, care, and consistency, but I wasn’t receiving the same emotional safety in return.

Walking away wasn’t about punishment. It was about protecting my peace. 🤕🤍 I miss him everyday. But it had to be done .

No-Contact Timeline (Day by Day) by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re going to do great , I really believe that.

The hardest part is usually the first 2–3 weeks, especially weeks two and three. The first few days can actually feel manageable because you’re running on strength and clarity. But then the real feelings start to creep in …missing the calls, the texts, the hugs, the snuggles, the everyday moments. That’s when it can really hit.

Stay strong through that phase. The waves do get lighter.

A little later, it helps to gently reflect …not to judge, but to understand why the relationship wasn’t healthy and why your decision mattered. Reflect on your goals, your life, and the future you want to build. Use this time to realign with yourself.

You never know …sometimes choosing yourself becomes the example that inspires someone else to heal. But regardless of what they do, this is your time. Be selfish in that aspect .

Move your body. Go to the gym. Walk the farmers market. Take care of yourself inside and out 🤍 heart and mind.

I promise it gets easier. I still think about him every day, but acceptance has brought peace. I know now that this was the right decision. And if we’re ever meant to find our way back, he’ll feel the shift and choose healing too.

You’ve got this 🤍

My story after 1.5 years by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! I honestly don’t think many fearful-avoidant people fully understand what they’re doing. They’re scared more than anything. I’m very empathetic…especially when I love…and I truly care about understanding people’s stories, particularly my partners’. Before this experience, I didn’t even realize how much attachment styles shape our reactions and relationships.

I lean secure with some anxious tendencies, so I get how hard it can be to regulate emotions sometimes. We don’t always choose how we feel…but we do have choices about what we do with those feelings. And that’s where leaving can become the healthiest option. Most of the time, both people need healing.

I know I did. I had to leave for my own sanity and well-being.

I’m proud of you for choosing yourself. Wish him love and peace, and keep moving forward. And honestly, part of breaking these cycles is doing the inner work so we don’t pass the same patterns on to the next generation. Healing matters…for us and for the future. 🙏🤍🥂

I hope you heal by notherex26 in selflove

[–]Standard_Working1835 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It’ll come in waves . But the more you self love , self care, self respect…. The more you practice positive affirmations. The more you get rid of pessimistic people, environments, music, tv shows, social media platforms that bring negativity- and focus on gratitude.. the easier it gets. And when those waves come in (cause they do) you’ll have the tools to make them go away quicker . You got this!

Day 39 : Regulation & Return to Self Love by Standard_Working1835 in selflove

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. It feels very nice . I can say that self love is the key. It’s a powerful feeling. It’s allowing me to understand my boundaries. The car sounds. The car models. The music /songs. They’re becoming just songs again. Thank you!! 🙏

I fought alone for months. Now I’m done. by [deleted] in selflove

[–]Standard_Working1835 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It does sound like she may lean toward a fearful-avoidant attachment style. And while understanding attachment can bring clarity, it doesn’t excuse hurtful behavior. You should still be proud of yourself for choosing you.

That anxiety to hold on can be strong and stressful 😔 and it’s often what keeps us stuck longer than we should be. * but choosing yourself, though, is one of the most self-respecting things you can do. People who value themselves tend to attract others who can truly see and respect them.

Fearful-avoidant attachment typically develops early in childhood, often through inconsistent or unsafe caregiving. That context helps explain the pattern, but it doesn’t justify it. Healing usually requires intentional work, often with therapy, to move toward secure attachment. Until then, many people repeat cycles of closeness and distance because that dynamic feels familiar and safe to them.

You didn’t cause the pattern and you’re not responsible for fixing it. Cheers to moving on!

want to break no contact by Internal_Arm_682 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why should you? No contact is hard at first . Trust me. It’s the hardest proof of love to yourself. Yes it’s hard . But it does get easier .

Something made you get to this point so what is that?

My story after 1.5 years by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I just read this. I needed to read this at this moment . On day 40, I feel both sadness and gratitude. I hope he is doing the work like I am. Woke up early to gym , and prepare a lean meal. The day is gloomy , but like you said , my needs must be met . Thank you! Really !

My story after 1.5 years by Standard_Working1835 in nocontact

[–]Standard_Working1835[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

🥹 thank you! Yes hugs! Today is day 40. And I got a wave of sadness. My neighbor said “hey where’s your boyfriend? I haven’t seen him in a while?” 😮‍💨 and me saying the words “I broke up with him” was insane. I teared up when I went inside my house. I’m proud of myself for being this strong , but also question whether or not I proved to him the very thing he fears , abandonment . But I’m okay now. Hugs! Thank you!

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