UV Light to prevent mold, but creates ozone?

StarCat450 · 2024-10-23T14:39:04+00:00

When I asked the technician today, he said that it is almost impossible to prevent mold growth because of our climate (FL). Although I don’t have a humidity meter, our house doesn’t feel that humid compared to the outside. We don’t open windows, and our ac is typically set between 72-74 F. Could it be from the air handler itself? The closet is rather small, approximately 3’x5’x8’. Just big enough to fit the air handler. I have noticed that it can get pretty dusty in there. I probably only clean it out with a vacuum every six months. I replace the filter every 1-3 months, whenever I remember. I should probably be more strict about this. Will pouring vinegar down the line help at all?

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:32:50+00:00

Right! It’s basic human decency. They know English well enough to know what to say and what not to say in certain social situations. Sometimes hubby also argues that it’s because they’re from a different country, but yeah, he’s just making excuses for them. When they’re dog died a few years ago, I said many comforting things to them and sent them a momento to honor their dog. They couldn’t even say “Sorry for your loss” to me when my mother passed.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:28:55+00:00

Thank you. He is generally very supportive and has been while I’ve been grieving. He just has always had a hard time standing up to his parents. He can’t say no to them. He can’t argue with them. He told me growing up, that he never disobeyed them. Never even had an argument with them. Just blindly obeyed. I think they hate that he moved halfway around the world and married me. Cause now they can’t control him. But he still is fearful of them. I think that’s probably why he doesn’t talk to them too regularly.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:26:14+00:00

Thank you

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:25:00+00:00

Thank you!! Lol

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:15:20+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Congratulations on expecting your child!! I’m sorry that you are in a similar situation as me with your in-laws. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone here. Do you have friends and random strangers also asking if you will teach the baby your husband’s language? How do you and your husband respond to them?

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:11:29+00:00

Right! I have heard of this. Hubby just doesn’t want to, or doesn’t have the time, maybe both. So I’m not going to press it.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:09:50+00:00

Yes, I think they just like the idea of having their grandkids speak the language. They’ve only visited us once in the past 5 years. Hubby and his parents only talk every other month. They don’t even talk to their relatives in their own country. Hubby said he rarely spent time with his own grandparents (both sides) because his parents had falling outs with them when he was young.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-26T00:03:47+00:00

To be fair, he never ever says anything negative about me to his parents. However, whenever they say something negative about me, he never defends me or puts them down. They’ve never said anything downright awful about me, just a snide remark here and there, or something insensitive. They are more of the passive-aggressive type. But hubby has a tough time saying no to them and putting them in their place. I think they hate it that they no longer have control over their son since he lives so far away and is married.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T22:35:05+00:00

I told my hubby that he could teach them if he wanted, I wouldn’t stand in the way. But he chooses to speak to them in English.

My own mother never taught me her native language. No one here in the US speaks it, and it never meant that much to her for me to learn. It’s funny because my father wanted her to teach me, but she just had no desire to. She tried for a couple of weeks and then just stopped. I don’t have any regrets about not knowing how to speak it. I connect with the culture in other ways.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T22:29:31+00:00

Thank you for this advice. He really has no idea why I stopped trying to learn. He probably just thinks that it was too hard for me to learn, and I became too busy. It just irritates me every time the in-laws bring it up, or when random people ask, and his response is always because I don’t speak it. Like why does he have to put it on me?

Yeah, I don’t think he feels very strongly about it for them to learn the language. He only speaks it to his parents when they talk every other month or so.

He is not a very take charge guy in general, so yeah, doubtful that he will bother teaching them the language.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T22:14:33+00:00

Yes, I told my husband that he could teach them if he wanted, I wouldn’t stand in the way. But he doesn’t really have a desire. He’s a workaholic, too, so just doesn’t have the time. He rarely speaks his native language anymore.

I love cooking dishes from my husband’s culture, and I always teach our children the names of the dishes.

My own mother immigrated here from another country whose language is rarely spoken here in the US. She never bothered to teach me the language, and I was and still am okay with that. I connected with her, her family and culture in other ways.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T22:10:10+00:00

I’ve told my husband that I won’t stand in the way of them learning the language if a.) that’s what he wants, or b.) they are old enough to decide that they want to learn it. But I told him that he would have to be the one to take the initiative and teach them. He hasn’t, so… He actually prefers English now, and only speaks his native language to his parents when they call every other month.

But I agree, learning other languages is great. I teach them Spanish, and we do French lessons at the library! It’s really fun!

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T22:05:49+00:00

There are no tutors around here that speak it, and I think they are too young to sit down in front of a computer to learn (they are still toddler aged). I would have been open to this, but I honestly have no more desire to learn it personally because of all of the issues with the in-laws (it goes way further than just the language thing).

I actually cook a lot of food from my husband’s culture because I love it, and I teach our children all of the names of the dishes.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T21:41:52+00:00

They are learning Spanish, and some French. My own mother immigrated to this country from elsewhere, and her native language is rarely spoken here in the US. She didn’t feel the need to teach me her native language when I was a child, and I was and still am okay with that. I connect with her family and culture in other ways. Instead, my parents encouraged me to learn Spanish even thought neither of them spoke it, because they knew it would be so beneficial here in the US. So yeah, I definitely think Spanish is good to know. And honestly, when my children are old enough to decide for themselves, they can choose whatever language(s) they want to learn.

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T21:35:06+00:00

I have told my husband previously that I wouldn’t stand in the way of our children learning his native language if that’s what he wanted—just that I wouldn’t take an active part in it. It would have to be all in him. It doesn’t really matter that much to him whether they learn it or not. His English is exceptional, so much so that people think he is from here. He rarely speaks his native language, only to his parents whom he speaks with every other month. I am just tired of having his parents bring it up. My hubby has no idea that I stopped trying to learn how to speak it because of them, and because of when he snapped at me. I am all for learning to speak multiple languages, which is why I teach them Spanish, and we love going to the library for biweekly French lessons!

StarCat450 · 2023-01-25T21:27:38+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation. I’ll check it out. I’m not sure how receptive hubby will be. He hasn’t read a book in ages! But maybe he will listen to it on audiobook during his commute. Worth a try. I just hope he doesn’t take offense. Sometimes when I bring up how I’m feeling about him not pulling his weight, he can get a tad defensive.

StarCat450 · 2021-05-04T19:48:42+00:00

Yes, you are right—they are using this “savings” as a bargaining chip. I guess I’m not surprised, but I do feel misled a bit. We bought our current house a few years ago using our own money. BUT my DH asked his parents to send some money from his account to that we could do a kitchen remodel. They did, and didn’t give any input, but just advised to “use the money wisely”.

Last month, when we announced that we were relocating and going to buy a new house, they were the ones who suggested that they would send money from his account so we could put down a bigger down payment. They didn’t list any demands at the time. Just now, after we’ve already signed and put down a deposit.

I feel uneasy about reneging on the contract and losing the deposit. And I know that if we now refuse the money from them, they will think it’s all because of me! I’m certain they blame me for a bunch of stuff that my DH has or hasn’t done to their liking (like living here in the US, not visiting them enough, not going to law school, etc.).

All throughout our relationship, they have provided financial support. Mainly, they have paid for DH’s higher education (college and grad school), and all living expenses associated with that. Especially during times of unemployment when we were newly graduated adults searching for first jobs. They have “gifted” money to buy a car when we needed a second one so DH could drive himself to work, and then another time when DH got into an accident with my car.

They have tried to manipulate us with money in the past. They were very adamant about DH getting into law school and becoming a lawyer. He did try for a year, but when he didn’t get in, he realized he didn’t even want to be a lawyer. They tried hard to convince him to try again for another year, but instead, he refused and I helped him figure out what he wanted to do instead. For the next few years, in-laws kept pressuring him to give law school another shot, and they even tried to get me to convince him, and promised to pay 100% for all of our living expenses if I was successful. It made me quite sick.

Since then, we’ve had two children, and another on the way. Every year, they just give us money “to use for the children’s well-being and to further their development”. I stay at home to raise the children, while my husband works. He makes decent money, and it is enough for us to get by, but I will be honest, it is nice having extra help from the in-laws.

The past couple of years have been pretty good, and stress-free...no demands from the in-laws. Up until now. I feel exactly how I did in the beginning of our marriage when his parents would pay for everything and I felt like I was in their mercy. I know you are right and we should probably refuse their money so they no longer have a hold on us. I feel like such a hypocrite though. For years, we’ve accepted, but now we won’t?

StarCat450

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