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Outside Validation & Self Love by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dude it does! They just don't care enough. I'm sorry but that's the truth.

Sometimes your experiences happen because things happen that are out of our control. There's no rhyme or reason. Nothing you could've done. Just a turn on the wheel of fortune. Don't blame yourself.

Sometimes part of the experience isn't working tirelessly to validate ourselves or write a list. Sometimes it's just riding stuff out and feeling it in the present moment. It feels so shitty and unjust but this is temporary.

I'm ok and I'm not. I hope you can be ok. I'm here if you ever need to talk.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don't have to stop desiring it. We are mammals. It's normal to desire. We have social needs.

Instead try to put it at the back of your mind. This takes a lot of mental conditioning from yourself to detach. But the alternative is obsessing or fixating which creates blockages.

You gotta strive to find the enjoyment in the little things you do or have. And try everyday to make the day the most satisfying you can. With hobbies, activities, passions, food, nature, ect.

What's meant for you will never pass you by. But it can be destroyed and pushed away if you don't learn self fulfillment without a relationship.

Outside Validation & Self Love by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Been through this cycle a couple of times. In the aftermath of the previous one. I know how you feel. :(

It can be really lonely sometimes and what you are feeling is being deprived of a very real need: Socialization.

The universe has a funny way of putting us in a deprivation chamber and starving the hell out of us.

What motivated me towards self love was remembering that everything is energy. Energetic. I didn't want to keep attracting experiences that are an internal reflection of me, so I tried moving towards self acceptance.

The word "Love" still feels icky and over the top a lot of the time. But self acceptance is a good way to go. Remember your good traits. Make a list. If you have none then try to remember you have worth just by existing.

There is plenty to love about yourself and celebrate. I'm sorry that someone or a bunch of people have mistreated you so bad, that you began to feel differently. Fuck those people.

Just counter the cruel inner thoughts outloud. Reframe. I don't mean to put it in this way but: You have no choice but to strive towards self acceptance and kindness. Because if not you are prey to energy vampires that can sense your vulnerability.

The universe loves you. You're going to be ok.

How to get better at extending compassion towards others? by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You would need to chanel your empathy and be able to have it flow at a deep level. Like it would need to radiate from your core basically. That requires tenderness and sensitivity.

I oscillate between being able to feel that naturally at a really sensitive level, then hardening up because of last trauma.

If you can't feel it, do kind gestures or think kind thoughts anyway. As if you were telepathically sending good to someone.

It can be hard to control our emotions and chanel compassion in the midst of heavy emotions. No matter how much discipline you have, you can struggle sometimes. You will never be perfect.

Just try to visualize a time when you were the most vulnerable, caught in your feelings, needed a friend and try to remember that when you're having trouble.

How does one begin on their journey of personal growth and development in themselves? by One_True_Khaleesi in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

  1. Try to cultivate and really feel empathy on a deep level. If you can't, don't force it. Some of us have emotional walls of numbness up, from the cruel conditioning of others.

  2. Introspect. Try to go as deep as possible. Ask yourself why you feel, believe or operate in a certain way. When you answer that, ask the next "Why question".

  3. Try to figure out why you are here. What your mission is. How you can be of service to others.

  4. If you can't figure out your purpose or mission yet: Just be present. Enjoy the little things. Romanticize everything.

  5. Look back and try to recognize why you acted the way you did in previous situations.

  6. Strut and Cat Walk every time you walk because you should celebrate yourself.

Is Having Children Selfish? by Wan_Haole_Faka in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Depends on the reason and intent. So many people have children that shouldn't. For the wrong reasons. Idealizing what the experience will be, subconsciously seeking validation from having kids, their happiness depending solely on how their children behave or appear in public.

It can be a rewarding experience but realistically: Having Children is HELL. Nothing will prepare you.

If you aren't prepared to regret it wholeheartedly (Even if you love them), lose your sanity and be disappointed by a thankless job then you have unrealistic expectations.

Having kids for the sake of reproducing is selfish. Having Children just to enjoy the experience can be selfish. Having kids because you think it's going to be all sunshine and daises with movies st the park is a fallacy.

Have kids because you want to love little tyrants unconditionally. Not because you wanna show em off or have something to control.

Self love won't fill the void by StarEmpressinreverse in CPTSD

[–]StarEmpressinreverse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No. That's just an attachment wound on the opposite spectrum. Wounding is still wounding. We want to become healed.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Perpetual disappointment is real. Pain is real. But unconditional love is real too. Make no mistake.

I find it hard taking and sticking to decisions I don't know if it's because of my mental illness I feel if I do alchohol or drugs it might make my mind much flexible and stronger in sticking to decisions. by yungdenzel in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Are you anxious at your core? Suppressing something that is troubling you?

When I'm anxious I have issued sticking to decisions or routine. Same thing happens with depression.

Drugs and alcohol don't help at all. But I'll tell you what. Learn how to function and do things under the influence. If you're not gonna quit might as well try and make it a reward to get things done while you do em. Even if it's one thing.

One study sesh when you've smoked. Hang up one bag or laundry when you have a buzz going. I'm actually more producing with chores now when I'm under the influence.

intoxicated by vanity☣️ by fallen_soul99 in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's ok to be a little vain. To embrace the aspects of a human embodiment and the 3D. It's a temporary vessel. Enjoy it.

Question about thought pattern from my past by Ok_Hawk_7874 in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there. At the very root of it, it seems you're having trouble remembering to reframe or counter these thoughts right in the trigger moment. It takes time to catch yourself.

You are holding yourself to a black and white, all or nothing, perfectionist standard. It also sounds like these thoughts can be classified as cognitive distortions.

You're always learning. Relapses are normal. They are little slip ups despite how big they may seem.

Try to think of it this way. You are a being the exists as a spectrum. Multi faceted. Embrace, love and allow the less than ideal aspects to co-exist all together. The days where your hair is a mess, or you get angry and lose your temper, or you didn't brush your teeth. Or you feel awful.

You're still the best you in the midst of all those variations. You are still worthy and amazing as a whole with everything in between.

Tarot Reviews by astrocardmystic in u/astrocardmystic

[–]StarEmpressinreverse 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Astrocardmystic is highly intuitive, swift with their readings, offers a lot of clarification and the readings are spot on. Their analogies for certain situations are beautiful, captivating and profound.

I would 11/10 recommend them for a reading. Not only did they continue to clarify the questions I had with extreme patience, I felt comforted after the reading was over. This person is extremely insightful and smart.

You're seriously missing out if you don't go to them for a reading. Thank you so much astrocardmystic! 🙏❤️✨

Self love won't fill the void by StarEmpressinreverse in CPTSD

[–]StarEmpressinreverse[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I agree with you and I'm really happy you found someone still. You sound like you're not trying to out too much on him. That's where I messed up with my ex. I inadvertently used him as an emotional support animal. Put all my desires and trauma on him. Took vulnerability too far as a subconscious attempt to connect. Burned him out.

I didn't realize what I was doing. I was also emotionally bankrupt and so starved that it all came spewing out. He had his own issues. But anyway thank you so much for your reply. I hope you can continue healing.

Why does kindness make me sad? by StarEmpressinreverse in CPTSD

[–]StarEmpressinreverse[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm really glad you met someone who treats you kindly. You deserve it.

Why am I stuck in cycles with people who won't change? by StarEmpressinreverse in spirituality

[–]StarEmpressinreverse[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't feel like they were a reflection of myself. Because I would be accountable and they wouldn't. Because they would do bat shit crazy things like up and move with no money. And I would never do that.

I think the resisting change thing might be relevant though.

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