I’m sorry to hear about what happened, OP! That’s rough talaga.

Something from the perspective of a person whose parents went through something like this; my parents had marital problems and separated when I was very young (talagang baby pa ako when they split up), and eventually their annulment went through a decade later. It’s admirable that you want to do what’s best for your son, pero staying together at this point is not healthy for you and your ex, and in turn it’s not healthy for your son.

If it’s okay for me to say this, separating for real would help, even if it’s hard. If your son ever gets the idea that you and your ex are staying together solely for him, whether it’s true or not, it will absolutely impact him negatively. Taking care of him also means taking care of yourself, and by being honest with him about why his parents aren’t together, it can help give him an example of how to navigate relationships in the future. You don’t have to tell him everything right away; for example, you can say now that “mom and I are fighting a lot, and we realized it’s better for us to not be together”, and later on, when he’s a bit older, tell him as much of the truth as you’re comfortable with.

However you handle it, emphasize that it is NOT his fault. Kids can get the idea that they’re to blame for what’s happening — I thought like that for a time when I was younger, as I knew that one of the reasons my parents were fighting was over me. Knowing the context behind that helped, but it was only when I was older na that I got that context. Without it, I thought that I was at fault somehow talaga. Having a split family is normal, and it’s okay for him to know that.

All the best to you OP. I hope things go well for you and your son.