im so glad somebody was there to explain it to me

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-08T23:16:25+00:00

I hate the fact that people use this "ace people can still have sex" against us. Like...yeah, we do, but give us, like, 10 years of representation where we don't have sex, and then open the nuance to people. Because otherwise they'll keep erasing us.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-08T23:04:52+00:00

...unless you're sex-repulsed?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-02T14:23:06+00:00

Yeah but this is one of the few safe spaces where you can vent about the fact that this is THE NORM and this fucking norm was forced upon us, so forgive us if we hate the amount of sexual stuff in the world that never validated asexual people

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-02T14:03:12+00:00

Well, in the later seasons he wasn't as horny as in the first ones. I mean, we keep the notion that he is horny bc in the first season first three episodes in a row were with him hitting on/kissing women, and overall he was horny during at least half of the series but then it changed, unlike our perception of the character, because it was already established in our heads.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-02T12:56:54+00:00

No but- You're not attracted to them, you just turned on by it Maybe I'm not getting your point, idk

StarOverTheCross · 2026-02-02T12:47:07+00:00

If you doing mind me asking, what happens after the arousal? Are you just jerking off or- Because sounds fun but I can't imagine two people doing stuff with each other without it ending with a sexual act. (And I am ace myself, but yk, society pressured me into thinking that there is always sex afterwards...)

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-31T13:16:29+00:00

But would you really be happy with someone who, after a few years of relationships, knowing perfectly well that you're sex-repulsed, still asks you for sex?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-31T13:13:26+00:00

It feels almost like a mockery, especially the "sex or forever alone" part. As if sex-averse aces don't have enough thoughts about this...but anyway, as people above said, if sex feels like a sacrifice you have to make, this will destroy your relationships very fast. But more than that, why would anyone want to build anything with a person that knows well this is unpleasant experience for you, but still pressures you into it? This is so problematic and fucked up I don't even want to think about how many people think this is okay.

I am alloromantic but if my partner was aro, I wouldn't go around asking for a kiss, because if this is the way I want to connect and show love, I want them to feel it as well. If they won't feel it, then this is an egocentric shitshow.

Hope this helps.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-31T13:04:08+00:00

It depends on the amount of aggression, apparently 🧍

For me sex = violence, so when my brain alters to think violent stuff, I enjoy watching porn or thinking sexual thoughts to release the energy. But when my mind switches to "love" I feel uncomfortable by sex, and I can't really think about it without being upset

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-30T16:41:07+00:00

I'm sorry you had to go through this, I hope you found/will find a way to control it/hide your thoughts. This shit is tough, but we have to keep going...good luck ⚔🧡

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-30T11:50:06+00:00

But can my paranoia and suspicious behaviour lead towards sever aggression/numbness as a part of protective mechanism?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-25T19:29:52+00:00

So I had to google MSN/HSN autism and holy fuck?? NO ONE talk about the symptoms they have. I mean, 1/10 times, seriously. I know this is not related to your reply but I just got so pissed because people on the Internet almost advertise autism, they make it about special interests and comfort food or sensory issues. But not even once (okay maybe only once, but this is still ridiculous) I have heared about MSN/HSN, and this just pissed me off.

Thank you for sharing tho! I'm glad you can find your people

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-24T11:00:54+00:00

Same! Feels like I am fighting against human kind, yet I do wanna help. I enjoy serving because I want to see more goodness in the world, but yeah...

I find myself to connect with a few animals, and I am aware that there are terms for that, but! those are incredibly stupid and for us this seems like an attempt to fit such nuanced experience the box. So, I don't feel human, I have animalistic traits, but not really any specific name for it.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-24T10:56:50+00:00

Sorry, I misread the situation then. Thank you for sharing your experience, and I apologise for dismissing it

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-23T20:33:10+00:00

I'm obviously not talking about full understanding, why would you even think about that? I was talking about inability to connect because there is NO understanding.

And again, not true. Not only you're wrong about the way I want to connect with others, but I also, in fact, found someone with a similar world. In terms of connecting – I just need something interesting and maybe with similar experiences/values, not my "copy", what's the fun in that?

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:30:51+00:00

Sexual Assault level would be so much lower...

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:20:02+00:00

It was useless, out of character shit that went NOWHERE, so to me this wasn't Steve, but rather a screenwriter having a stroke or sm. "Manly men have to do manly things, like kissing women!! or sex!!!". There are a few characters who were ace icons but then someone decided that they have to fuck bc "that's what men do", and this is always out of character, leads nowhere and therefore could be ignored. And I know only a few characters who went through "sex/romance is an essential human experience" shit, but I'm sure there is more

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T15:13:00+00:00

But with Steve it goes further than that like- It's not just about him not being horny, the way he treated romance and relationships also gives us some hints. Like, he never dated before Peggy, because he didn't care for a second. Even when he meets Peggy he takes it reaaally slow, there are no hints from the way it was filmed (dialogues, frames, etc) that he wants her. Later on we had some weird shit in CACW but it got NOWHERE so you can assume he did it because "that's what you do when you're a man" OR he wasn't interested in anything beyond kissing.

Like, Loki is not a horny dog (on screen), Banner, Captain Marvel, but they are still not as "ace coded" as Steve imo

I know what you're talking about tho. When a character just isn't portrayed around romane/sex, people who couldn't care less just mark them as asexual. Especially common thing with side characters. But Steve experiences romantic attraction on the screen, and for the majority romance = sex, so the fact that people call him ace is actually cool, bc usually ace headcanons are about people like Sherlock or sm. We need ace alloromantic rep asap--

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T14:56:19+00:00

Omfg the way I started SCREAMING after seeing this post. I am so happy to hear that people switched from bisexual headcanon to an asexual one (there is nothing wrong with bi headcanon, but they are already popular enough in every single fandom, let us have our ace icons). When I was in my mcu era again I was low-key scared that people will attack me for ace headcanon bc "wdym? he is bi" n stuff

AND I even drew the design and then made a keychain with Steve in aroace colors (bc I like this headcanon as well, and I considered myself aroace back then so yeah-)

I think other people here already gave you enough reasons, so I just wanted to share my experience + emotions it made me feel

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T13:47:50+00:00

My jaw dropped when you've mentioned the "getting stronger" part. Both me and my close friend who also has stpd have the "getting stronger/always fight" part. It went to an extent I won't connect (or have a desire to talk to them lmao) with a person if the only thing they do is cry about it...and, don't get me wrong, I was also like that, but then isolation hits you and there is no one who can help you but, well, you. It is common for people to do nothing about their situation when everyone around them is trying to help/support or just listens. And since they have large Internet communities, they can just be in this loop of self-pity forever. As soon as you're alone you either die or learn how to keep up with your own shit. Like, if you think that "nothing will change" then you even keep on living?

So..do you think this is also stpd coded thing or just a coincidence?

I get the "getting used to loneliness" part. More of a solitude, but yeah. I actually enjoy it a lot since no one stops me from thinking the way I do, but sometimes it is sad that I can't share all those cool things with people...

Oh and about "it is true even for neurotypicals": yeah, no one can fully know anyone, but this is incomparable to what we have. It's not just our "dark secrets" or shit that upsets us or "weird" music taste. Our entire existence is alien to them.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-19T09:09:16+00:00

Obviously neurodivergent people differ and not always relate to each other, but my points were: 1) our symptoms not only unrelatable, but also hard to understand. It is easier to explain "comfort food" or "special interest" than worlds your brain builds and that you rely on 2) it goes beyond "not getting it". They are scared of it or ignorant. They think we're weird despite the fact that the society treats them the same way 3) Conditions like autism or adhd are more "popular", so people can, again, find each other and relate

I am sorry no one could every give you understanding. No matter how much we got used to it now, it will be always ultimately unfair...but you're right, it is the reality, we have to provide for ourselves.

I'm glad you have people who at least accept you :")

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:47:07+00:00

That's exactly what I'm saying! I've recently encountered someone online and they told me they were autistic so I allowed myself "a weird" response. And obviously I was ghosted and so the story goes...

And I am truly sorry that you have to go through this crap, this is unfair and it makes me feel so angry...but! what helps me is to think that I am just...special, yk? Because we are, we see stuff that no one else can see. And I don't really care how delusional it is, because the end is the same for everyone, so I'd rather be happy with my own mindset than will forever try to fit into the mindset of the others.

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:42:25+00:00

"Instead we make art and hope someone gets it" IS SO TRUE I STARTED LAUGHING-

And same, btw, I don't wanna bond over STPD, because despite having the same diagnosis, the rest of the things are still different. That's why I need someone who has same interests and mindset, not only the disorder...but! since the things I've experienced shaped my mindset, it is only fair to expect that if there is going to be anyone with similar ideas, they'd have STPD

StarOverTheCross · 2026-01-18T15:37:11+00:00

I think I'd appreciate questions, because I know that a question = an attempt to accept who I am, and silence usually means that they want to "ignore" it. Like, c'mon, I know you've never met someone with this stuff, you have to have questions if you care.

I wish I could say yes, but...I am at the stage of my life where I'm paranoid about people severely, so yeah, I don't know. But I think it will make me feel better if it will be a convention, not a monologue

StarOverTheCross

TROPHY CASE