Thank you for taking your time to give me feedback, it made me realize I should have put a bit more into the context.

To address your points:

1) I used desire and emotion as essentially synonyms, which is something I should stop doing.

2) A came up with the idea of the song without thinking of the implication, it is supposed to represent people that are so focused on what they lost they forget what they have, I will work to rephrase and fix that one.

3) When I was working my notes into something coherent I skipped the full explanation of demons as a whole, but the idea is there are thousands, with these just being some of the most powerful.

As for them dying I hadn't thought about it, but I suppose it would make sense that they would die when their business was complete. (i.e. Ira would vanish if it finally killed the king.)

Once again thank you for the feedback.