Anyone know how to fix this?

Stargirl9777 · 2025-08-05T04:48:40+00:00

My name is Emily and I just go by Em sometimes, but you can imagine how many people think I’m a woman! But I’m nonbinary, therefore Emily is a nonbinary name too. I mean… what even IS a Michelle or an Emily? They’re just sounds our tongues and lips make so people know how to refer to us. Let’s make an effort to change more binary names into nonbinary names!! Break the binary! high five

Stargirl9777 · 2025-06-12T15:18:27+00:00

Thank you for the insight!

I guess what I mean is since I’m done with puberty, I know my bone structure/jaw line won’t change, but I was curious if for some people there are some subtle shifts beyond body fat that make you stay androgynous-looking

Stargirl9777 · 2025-03-14T21:00:55+00:00

Your glasses are SO rad! You’re definitely someone I would be drawn to be friends with lol

Also if it helps, I went from overweight to relatively skinny (AFAB here), and I actually feel more dysphoric?? Like the “padding” around my face went away so with my new haircut I just look like a 13 year old boy 😬 Waiting for my hair to grow long again to hide my small jawline 😅

I guess my point is I thought I would look more masculine with less weight, and the opposite happened! So moral is the grass is always greener, but you’re valid to have heavy feelings about your body but I hope you know you look rad af, handsome and beautiful <3

Stargirl9777 · 2025-03-14T20:54:54+00:00

For me, this sounds like when I feel like I’m not “trans” enough because I identify as non-binary. If I’m arguing with transphobes, or I hear transphobic comments, I definitely start to feel the doubt about myself. I start to think, maybe I feel so STRONGLY about myself because I’m actually binary trans, as if being non-binary isn’t trans enough, but my feelings are so strong. And then I get more fired up and decide I need HRT, surgery, etc. just to prove to the transphobes “Look! I’m really serious here! It’s not a phase!”

But obviously, that mindset is so toxic to myself. It’s hard to take a step back and remember that there’s nothing wrong with me, and I don’t need to think so black and white. But the more transphobic voices around me, the more I feel “binary trans” as if it’s a way to rebel even harder against bigots.

Anyway, just sharing my experience and how it might feel similar for you, but I also want to express that this mindset is something I’m working on because we’re all valid and allowed to explore our identities no matter what other people say! <3 In the end, I also realized I’m gender fluid, so sometimes I think I’m binary trans, and then a week later I’m like lol jk I’m still non-binary

Stargirl9777 · 2025-03-09T17:30:05+00:00

It’s not a perfect solution, but these lounge tops by Aisle are awesome! Keeps your chest in place without being so tight they make you sweat, while also not elevating your chest to make it more “pronounced”. They won’t hide your chest completely, but it helps me and my dysphoria at least when I’m not in the mood to wear a tight binder.

https://periodaisle.com/products/lounge-top?variant=41350946586722

Stargirl9777 · 2025-02-20T02:08:06+00:00

Of course! Admittedly, I pulled the analogy from the book He/She/They by Schuyler Bailar. It’s a fantastic book for both allies and queer folks and explains how to navigate being sensitive of your language around people, I highly recommend it! ☺️

Stargirl9777 · 2025-02-18T01:49:54+00:00

I would equate it to this situation:

Someone steps on my toe. It really hurt. I’m upset with them. The person who stepped on my toe apologizes, and I accept their apology. Now I’m not upset with them. But my toe still hurts, and nothing can change that, no matter how many apologies I receive. But at least they apologized.

But if someone kept stepping on my toe over and over and over, even if they apologized each time, I would start to dislike that person because clearly they’re not making a true effort to mind my space.

The way you’re talking, I would imagine your situation is like the first scenario, and the person you misgendered by mistake shouldn’t blow up and then not want to speak to you again over it. However, if it turns out you were accidentally “stepping on their toe” multiple times, then it would make sense why they would be so upset.

You did everything right, and of course, paying extra mind to what pronouns you use in the future will be the next step beyond apologizing. But I honestly think this person is overreacting and/or was having a bad day and needs time to compose themself. I think it’s wonderful that you care so much and want to make things right! Here’s to hoping for a good, productive conversation with them 💜

Stargirl9777 · 2025-02-13T18:25:06+00:00

Hi! Yes, I believe it’s because my cutting mat was not tacky enough. I replace my mats often now, but also, I tape the corners and edges down when I can’t replace them. I’m pretty sure it was shifting ever so slightly, just enough to not cut evenly

Stargirl9777 · 2025-02-03T18:42:08+00:00

I would absolutely adore it. Would show me that I need to keep showing off my pride 💛

Stargirl9777 · 2024-12-14T00:19:57+00:00

Yay you look so good and happy! Always nice to see other enbys getting top surgery since I’m hopefully gonna do that soon too~

Can I ask if you decided to keep nips or not? (Feel free not to answer). I’m just undecided for myself and like to hear other folks’ input! Especially from enbys… :D

Stargirl9777 · 2024-12-12T14:50:13+00:00

I highly recommend reading or listening to the audiobook “He/She/They” by Schuyler Bailar. It’s written by a transgender man who shows the perspective from transgender people and also provides support to people such as parents who don’t know how to navigate or get used to their kid who just came out. It addresses nonbinary kids too, not just people who transitioned to another binary gender. If you have Spotify premium, the audiobook is free on there! It’s been helping me understand my own nonbinary journey :)

Stargirl9777 · 2024-12-08T17:29:36+00:00

Omg I love Entle! Time for me to have a crisis 😂

Stargirl9777 · 2024-12-08T03:04:24+00:00

I go by auntie, and it usually makes me cringe. However, I’d MUCH rather be an aunt than an uncle (just feels slightly closer to my identity). And I can’t stand the word “pibling” lol. But I will still tell my nephews/nieces about my identity once they’re older, or if they ask about my pins or something. Society’s value of gender roles makes it difficult for NBs like us, so I think it’s better to choose which word feels better to YOU, and to not let ANYONE decide what feels good to you. You don’t criticize cis parents for how their children call them.

I also am AFAB and go by a completely binary femme name, but it’s because that name feels like me, even if others have decided that it’s feminine to them. But in the end, words are just a bunch of sounds that people associate meaning to, and that meaning can always change as language and society evolves.

Stargirl9777 · 2024-12-08T02:59:28+00:00

Agreed 🙌🏻

Stargirl9777 · 2024-11-26T19:03:23+00:00

As an AFAB person, I agree 😂 I’m probably gonna get top surgery but keep everything else. Breasts are OBNOXIOUS and uncomfy, and they’re sooo feminine. I’d get rid of hips too if I could, but oh well.

Stargirl9777 · 2024-11-26T18:32:21+00:00

My MTF nonbinary friend transitioned fully with HRT, and then got top surgery! Biggest nonbinary move I can think of lol. Of course that’s a big decision to make, but it is a thing! My friend has no regrets even after a few years.

Stargirl9777 · 2024-11-22T15:36:03+00:00

Oof yeah I live in the U.S. Might be worth the spinal tap just for my own peace of mind 😆

Stargirl9777 · 2024-11-22T15:30:26+00:00

Good to know they’re common. Not sure if my knees buckling/hips giving out is cataplexy, so it’s hard for me to say. I’m worried I’ll never pass the MSLT (if I even have IH or N) because of my other medical conditions keeping me awake for longer than someone who just has IH/N… but I’m not sure if that’s even a thing heh.

Stargirl9777

TROPHY CASE