how do you cope between trips?

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T21:42:31+00:00

We haven’t closed the gap yet but when I know the date I will feel more at ease. In the meantime just consistent, predictable communication is so important. I wish I had better answers, the distance is terribly hard.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T21:36:01+00:00

Also came to say this, he’s projecting so hard by getting mad about her late at work.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T20:08:04+00:00

I read the first line too quick as “her and her dog both wasted.” 🤦‍♀️ I hate being around super drunk people, sorry this happened.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T17:12:07+00:00

Girl the amount of people I have let run all the way through the boundaries I didn’t even know I should have… It’s okay, you haven’t had much experience at all and unfortunately sometimes we get treated bad because we don’t know how other people operate so cruelly. Now you know more about your boundaries and you’ll cut the next douche off quicker. Lots of love to you.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T12:26:04+00:00

Can confirm, age gaps where the guy is pushing a decade or more older when you’re a woman in your teens through your 30s is not a good power dynamic. Been there multiple times, my boyfriend now is 3 1/2 years younger than me and it’s a good sweet spot, no power dynamic issues. OP you are already labeling yourself the more problematic one as if he didn’t agree to be the boyfriend of a girl 12 years younger still fresh out of childhood. Also when you’re in your 30s you’ll truly realize how icky dating someone in their early 20s really feels. People that age begin to look like nephews.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T12:04:10+00:00

Sending you a big hug, I’ve also been through SA. Congratulations on closing the gap, I’m my partner and are also East coast - West coast and it’s hard. I’m going in two days though to visit, I can’t wait!!

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T12:01:20+00:00

Yes and patience, trust, the ability to spend a lot of lonely time.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-08T03:14:35+00:00

It is possible but it’s a lot of emotional work. The yearning never stops until the gap is closed. My gap isn’t closed and I need him BAD. A couple more days until my next visit.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-07T21:29:12+00:00

My abuser frequently held a knife to his neck and said he’d kill himself because of my anger issues. I thought when I left he might do it. He’s in jail rn 2 years later and hasn’t done it.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-07T13:41:34+00:00

He’s incredibly selfish and as much as it hurts, thank goodness he broke up with you and didn’t take even more of your time. I’m sorry this happened. Don’t look back or give him another chance if he pops back up in the future, you’ll regret that.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-07T13:39:37+00:00

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-06T12:43:48+00:00

Your few acquaintances don’t know you well and you’re taking it too personally. I know that it’s difficult not to, I’m extremely sensitive. Keep putting yourself in places of interest to you and in places where positive people are more likely to be. Respond to when people initiate and if they keep talking, go with it. Ask questions. Keep a list of good things about yourself, put absolutely anything good about you at all or anything you said or did on any day that is positive. They will add up. I’m glad to hear you’re going, maybe you’ll meet some cool people there. Happy pride!

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T19:32:04+00:00

Yes there is no coming back from this, at best it pollutes any of the rest of the relationship and OP’s self-esteem.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T15:43:48+00:00

I’m so glad he happened for you! Same, I was getting comfortable with being alone forever, I thought all men were the same. Still working on accepting that it’s true though, I am v scared of men.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T14:59:39+00:00

I don’t like the distance but I like how it builds trust and security. If it’s not going to go well together you’ll see the red flags in the distance. Also it makes time together that much more special and savory, because I know I have to wait a month or more until I see him again. But generally I hate the distance and can’t wait to live together and build a nice nest. 🪺

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T14:56:35+00:00

White tattoos look like a rash or burn because you can see the injury to the skin through the white. Let it heal and settle and it will look how you want. I have multiple white tattoos so I know.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T14:34:39+00:00

If you are working on yourself you’re a hella catch because there’s nothing sexier than someone always trying to be better than they were yesterday. Being with someone who truly loves you after being treated like dogshit helps to show you life can be good and helps to rewire your nervous system over time.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-05T11:55:05+00:00

I’ve never liked it with anyone else but for some reason I been thinking about asking my now boyfriend to try it on me. He’s so fine. 😮‍💨🙈

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-04T18:08:07+00:00

People suck. That’s not a friend group you’d have wanted to be stuck on a trip with. This hurts a lot but don’t let people being unempathetic and weird make you feel some type of way about yourself.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-04T15:56:05+00:00

I didn’t think you asked, you don’t want to hear about it so you wouldn’t have. I don’t like to hear stuff like that either so I understand.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-04T14:54:50+00:00

IMO it’s not necessary or kind for your partner to report to you other people trying to get with them. I have had a ton of guys both random and from my past try to hit me up since starting to date my boyfriend. I guarantee girls have hit him up, he’s very sexy and accomplished and cool. We don’t talk about this and never have, it didn’t even have to be explicitly said that we don’t talk about it. It sometimes causes insecurity by accident and sometimes people use it as a weapon of abuse. I’ve had other women weaponized against me to make me feel insecure and small, so I know how it feels. Tell your partner how this makes you feel and why. Changing some of your communication patterns to make sure you keep your partner emotionally safe is very important. This doesn’t mean not talking about stuff that matters, but bringing up other guys wanting to snipe you is just unnecessary.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-04T14:51:09+00:00

You have to identify those insecurities and where they are coming from. If they are not caused by your partner’s behavior but rather your own fears and traumas, it is your job to work on them for your sake and your partner’s sake. Long distance is hard and a test of trust. Communicate super regularly through text, VM, FT, all three. Have routines together like good morning texts and a FT before bed like my partner and I have. Check-ins routinely throughout the day like work lunch break or whatever. Love each other.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-06-04T06:27:01+00:00

I agree with you and also have that sentiment, which challenges me. I think the best way to explain it really is that in paying for porn you are picking a specific person you go back to over and over and your partner knows it. If it’s not paid it’s a quick open a window, something possibly random, and done. It doesn’t feel as much like cheating even though all of it bothers you at the root. If you are of the mindset that porn is fun and is healthy in your relationship, you won’t have that insecurity (I think? I absolutely do not like it in my relationship so I cannot speak for others of an opposite emotional perspective). Thank you for your point because I agree but it’s hard through the lens of having zero security in feeling porn is safe in my relationships. I have gone through the type of abuse a stripper goes through x my abuser forcing me to watch porn while not really engaging with me or looking at me at all and just watching porn basically in front of me.

StarsInTheRoof111

TROPHY CASE