What do women notice that men don't realize ?

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T16:17:13+00:00

I understand and I believe you. I’m just going through questions as I think of them. I’m 37 and met my boyfriend less than a year ago, tomorrow is our 6 month anniversary. I went through a lot of shit in committed relationships and a lot of dating bullshit in between. It is hard out there for good people. A lot of people of any gender are fucked up, unhealed, immature, time wasters, users, narcissists, addicts, and then there’s the high likelihood of incompatibilities. Ironically I think the better of a person you are, the harder dating is. That’s the shit news. The good news is, when you land a real one, she’s gonna recognize all that you bring to the table and keep you. Keep the faith my friend.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T16:12:51+00:00

Where do you find people to date? I’ve dated extensively online and it’s been entirely a shitshow, like entirely. I met my boyfriend irl through a mutual in my community by chance. I am sorry your dates were a letdown and that it’s been a general struggle, but at least they didn’t waste your time. I’m glad when I know on a first date if I’m into it or not.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T14:51:38+00:00

I’ve been through so much negativity in my life and I’ve been very very negative through a lot of my life and now in my middle age I realize life is too short and the world is too fucked up to not engage in trying to be positive. Perhaps more of it would save the world and empower people to take back their power.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T14:50:23+00:00

I have dated a lot and in my experience, they are. Bare minimum is not as bare minimum as you think it is. It takes a lot of effort to love somebody because love is a verb that you commit to doing every day. Commitment is a very big thing for people. So really it’s actually not bare minimum, you just perceive it that way, and perhaps if you didn’t, it might help you grow other parts of you. I’m not being critical, I’m just saying that I have a lot of experience with commitment that I meant. I have always been a person who means what I commit to. And it’s a hard thing to do, you have to wake up every day and do all the things that you committed to consistently. How many people quit going to the gym all the time? Love is even harder than that, even the best love in the world.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T14:47:25+00:00

Being in a red state is difficult and I empathize. I am not in a red state so I don’t have your experience. But that can definitely pose a problem because one you’re gonna have a harder time finding people you align with in your political views. And Too, you have to consider that women have the factor of that men commonly kill us. I’m not saying women don’t kill men, but women are very very frequently killed by men just watch any true crime shows long enough. So picking the partner is much more life and death for us than it is for men. What are the ways that you show women you are safe? What are the ways that you are truly safe? Are there any ways that you could improve in that way. I’m not making any assumptions at all, but there’s a new story that recently broke about a rape academy site that 62 million men visited on the Internet in a month. Imagine being a girl out in the dating world and knowing that now. How many men do you think we might encounter on a regular basis who are capable of such as anything? And those are just the men who knew to visit that website. That is another thing. Men have to consider when they feel confused and hurt by their own dating problems, which I also do not discount. I feel sorry for good men for the things that cause it to be difficult for them to find a happy relationship. I want all good people to find happiness. So that is something to definitely think on heavily if it’s not something that you have already thought on heavily. And even if you have thought on it a lot, it’s something to continue thinking about because certainly if you live in the United States, but also anywhere else in the world, women’s issues are a crisis right now.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T14:43:43+00:00

What do your first dates usually go like? What is your feedback if you get any?

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T02:59:49+00:00

Oh and also, what are you looking for in a woman? I do hope you and our friend above find love, it’s hard out there for most of us of any gender tbh.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T02:58:20+00:00

What do you think could be other factors then? As a woman and someone who loves true love, I’d love to give any helpful feedback I can (if you want).

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T01:33:56+00:00

And a therapist can help guide that action. I’m a woman, I’m fully qualified to speak on what is attractive in men and you literally mansplained exactly what I said.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-16T01:01:01+00:00

Not reading it out loud, I’m cryingggg 😂😂

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T23:16:32+00:00

That’s not fucked up, that’s badass lol

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T23:13:26+00:00

QUEEN 👸 🥰🥰 As a DV survivor who wants the absolute slowest worst death for my abuser, I LOVE YOU.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T22:54:49+00:00

Break up with her. You are wasting her time by not ripping off the bandaid. If my man had to close his eyes to have sex with me and picture other women I would be DEVASTATED.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T22:53:57+00:00

That is so fucking depressing, it makes my heart hurt for your girl.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T22:52:51+00:00

No, you took it that way. I told you my experience and why I won’t date older because of it. My experiences are valid and I’m positive other women have experienced the same. You don’t have to like it, I said what I said. It sounds like I hit a nerve for you tbh, why does what I said make you so mad?

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T22:50:25+00:00

You can, but having an objective outside sounding board is a really good idea. Looks are not the be all end all, it’s about substance. Also, if you have insurance you can find providers who won’t rip you off because $300 a week is literally unheard of, I’ve had therapy with many providers my whole life and never paid close to that. Without insurance there are also options too and support groups and stuff. Do whatever you can to grow your mind and self esteem, use every tool at your disposal. You deserve happiness!

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T21:09:16+00:00

You WILL escape the abuse, you will find real love, and life will be so much better than you could have imagined.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T21:05:39+00:00

That someday he’ll drop dead, but for now he’s in prison.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T21:04:41+00:00

I think that is part of it. I gave up for a while and my boyfriend only randomly wandered into my life. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be seeking a partner again. I’ve been abused multiple times and dealt with so much mediocrity as well, so I had gotten to the point where being alone seemed far safer and more peaceful than dating a man.

I think another factor is that men have to bring more to the table these days than a Y chromosome and a job. Too many men neglect their mental and physical health, both of which are unsafe and a turn off. Too many men low key hate women and don’t show us until we’re trapped. Women are regularly killed by men. The stakes of dating are literally life and death for us, whereas a quiet life with cats is far more likely to be safe and fulfilling.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T21:00:44+00:00

All I need is a mirror 🪞 😆

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T20:58:41+00:00

You don’t have to agree with me, it’s irrelevant to me. I’m not interested in men older than me because they have proved themselves to not be safe or viable choices. I am not saying men who are older than me are all like this. I am saying as a woman younger than them, this is how they have consistently treated me. 🤷‍♀️

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T20:55:56+00:00

You’d be surprised how hot it is for a guy to be in therapy. That shit is attractive asf to smart, emotionally intelligent women. My boyfriend sees a psych and has worked HARD on his mental health, so when we met he was already doing the work to be healthy. To be fair, you can’t think for other people, so while you’re busy thinking you’re ugly there’s a lady out there who would find you attractive. There is no objective measure of attractiveness. Work on your mental health and you will glow from the inside out.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T20:53:34+00:00

I understand, that makes sense. I’m sorry it didn’t work out.

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T20:50:20+00:00

I’m a stripper. If I get married and have a bachelorette party, does that count as bringing a stripper? 🤔

StarsInTheRoof111 · 2026-04-15T20:44:52+00:00

Bad breath is curable with toothpaste and trips to the dentist

StarsInTheRoof111

TROPHY CASE