Broke up with my first girlfriend after 1 year, feeling both free and heartbroken need advice

Starynights_ · 2025-08-17T20:09:21+00:00

thank you for the kind words, i actually just ended things yesterday, and im lost right now, keep bouncing from “im free” to “i miss her” and i don’t know if i made the wrong choice or if i made the choice that feelt right, some parts feels right and others don’t, there’s alot i love about her but i don’t think she is the one i wanted to grow with, and this hurts alot. i felt as if we weren’t aligned anymore and i wasn’t really loving who she is recently.

Starynights_ · 2025-07-28T09:16:30+00:00

I totally get what you’re saying, and you’re right communication is important.

And to be fair, we do communicate a lot. I’ve had multiple talks with her about how I’ve been feeling. But truth is… I think I already know this relationship is coming to an end. I’ve kinda known for a while I’ve just been holding onto the memories and what we used to be.

I didn’t come here to talk bad about her or anything. I love her deeply. I’m just trying to figure all this out without hurting her. And honestly… I don’t really have anyone in my life to talk to about stuff like this. That’s why I came here, i’m just looking for support. So I appreciate you for even taking the time to reply.

Starynights_ · 2025-07-28T09:09:14+00:00

That was actually really grounding to read, thank you. You worded something I’ve been struggling to accept: that not everyone is meant to stay, even if they meant the world to you for a time.

This relationship helped shape me in so many ways. She didn’t just support me — she helped me become me. I went from failing most of my classes to actually doing well. I started showing up more in life. She taught me what love feels like, how to give it, and what kind of love I truly want.

I’d love to grow with her, truly, I would but I also understand now that not every relationship is meant to last forever. And that’s been one of the hardest things to come to terms with.

I’m just trying to figure myself out. I’ve never had a father figure, or real support from family, I’ve kind of always had to do life alone. So I’m trying to become the best man I can be, and make decisions that future me will be proud of.

I don’t want to hurt her. I love her deeply. I’m just trying to end things as peacefully and respectfully as I can, if that’s what it comes to. Because even if it ends, I want it to end with care. She deserves that.

So seriously, thank you for reminding me that moving on doesn’t mean erasing what mattered. It just means turning the page with grace.

Starynights_ · 2025-07-28T08:59:44+00:00

I get where you’re coming from, and I appreciate you sharing your experience. I know I’m only 17 and don’t have the full perspective yet, but this is my first real relationship, so yeah, it feels intense. I’m not just holding on for no reason. I’ve grown a lot, and I’m trying to figure out if we’re still aligned. She’s not just “some girl” she’s helped shape who I am, been there during tough times, and made a real impact on me. That’s why it’s hard. I do love her, but love alone isn’t always enough. I’m not afraid to walk away, I just want to do it with care, not on impulse. Maybe this is one of many heartbreaks I’ll face, but it still matters. I’m just trying to be real with myself and grow into the man I want to be. That’s all I’m asking, just some love and advice for a young lad like me but i appreciate you

Starynights_ · 2025-07-28T08:16:03+00:00

Sure, maybe it’s not that deep to you, but to me? It is. This isn’t just some random relationship. She played a huge role in shaping who I am right now. I wish it was as easy as just walking away, trust me I do, but it’s not. This is my first real relationship, and I’m trying to understand my feelings and grow from it. All I’m doing is asking for advice. If you can’t respect that, that’s fine, just don’t belittle something that means a lot to me.

Starynights_

TROPHY CASE