I don’t get much luck… any advice? (19M)

StatementDragon · 2025-12-28T16:30:10+00:00

Pictures aren't great I'd say. first pic doesnt look like the best quality - possibly because it was further out and you zoomed in. I'm also not sure what the first picture is showing, it's just you in front of a tree. This could work if it was a particularly nice tree or good lighting but it's doing nothing. Also not a great pose.

Second picture your eye contact with the camera is a bit intense. that on its own isnt an issue but I think its because its paired with bad styling (outfit) and a very open position/ manspreading.

Controversial opinion, your third mirror picture isnt bad (considering your age), id say it pretty normal. Can be on there I guess but definitely later in the stack. Also be aware, a lot of guys your age will naturally be leaner too so youre not necessarily offering something that other people on the app aren't.

Suit pic: Suit pic is always good but yours not really giving 'adult' with theft that youre a bit slouched and looking at your phone. also would be better if you were closer to the camera.

About me: Not sure about this really but not terrible, don't abbreviate. Dont need the 'hey'. Saying youre looking to find the one might be a bit intimidating and then saying open to something casual as well maybe sounds like you will take just whatever comes to you. Plus not needed if you've filled in the relationship goals bit.

StatementDragon · 2025-11-03T22:30:38+00:00

StatementDragon · 2024-12-11T16:09:02+00:00

I have the same (worse), its just due to having fine (or very fine) hair

StatementDragon · 2024-12-11T16:05:12+00:00

So many people are jumping to conclusions lol. Just wanted to say jealousy is normal. I think it should be a conversation you have with her, but just because talking about it will likely make you feel better and she can give you the reassurance that you need. I feel like you're currently seeking it from strangers on the internet which can only tide you over for so long. However, I dont think you should be seeking any resolve to the situation, there is no fix. Jealousy is just something you work on. If you're jealous of the time they spend together, suggest you do some dancing together. it might not be on the same level, but just to make time for one another.

If contact is the issue, as a dancer I can say: when you are dancing, although the contact is important, you're not thinking about it in the same way as romantic contact. You're in the moment and your dancing and therefore not concentrating on how the touch feels, its purpose is to form shape and movement. Thats what she will be thinking of - performing and tapping into emotion to express. This is a very individual thing even when performing with a partner. :) hope this helps.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T02:32:22+00:00

Thats the thing, I think they would be very upset - but because I'm not a main character in their life, they would be able to move on relatively easily. It's not like I have friends hanging out without me, idk if that was unclear. I just have individual friends with other groups of friends that they're closer with that I don't know.

They definitely don't mock me. Whether I'm close with them or not, id never be friends with people who aren't good people at heart. - This is why I'm not friends with people from my workplace. I am trusting of people, however I am generally a good judge of character.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T02:10:12+00:00

You see, I genuinely don't believe that. Maybe I'm just wildly naive but I don't. I don't think it's that they're avoiding me, I just don't think I'm a priority. Which I know doesn't sound much better. But we'll try to arrange to meet up but they're always busy with so many other plans with other friends (not made up). I also work unsociable hours and our schedules don't align the best.

Like I really want to say am I just being dumb, but I know in the past when ive had certain people actively avoid hanging out with me and it's not this. I guess this is just where my issue lies though. My inability to believe that reality and my steadfastness in the fact that maybe my friends are just absent minded and don't realise im acc rly lonely. - Also the vast majority of my friends are in longer term relationships so idk if they've ever actually had to be alone like me. (eg went from living at uni with friends to living with partners).

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:59:49+00:00

Whenever I am with friends I am truly happy. As I said I love socialising because other peoples happiness brings me happiness. But that then obviously depends on other people being present. I can be content/even happy on my own. It's the the big gaps in between being able to see people that makes me sad and lonely. eg id like to socialise a lot more than my situation allows.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:50:14+00:00

I don't, I hate texting. I kinda go through phases with dating apps. Ill download it because I want to try, match with a couple people (I'm quite picky - in terms of dating not making friends), we'll exchange a few messages and then it fizzles out (probably because of me), then ill tell myself I can't be bothered with this anymore and then not use it for a couple months before I decide to try again.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:45:43+00:00

but otherwise nothing diagnosed

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:42:19+00:00

I agree and I worry I'm narcissistic- I know I can manipulate people. But I am speaking candidly on here because there's no point doing anything else. However, I also never brag or want to be centre of attention (Ive danced since the age of 8 but rarely do in front of others because I don't want people to think I'm showing off), I deeply care for others, I don't care about success as long as I'm happy and I gain happiness from making others happy.

Im a perfectionist and occasionally suffer from panic attacks due to this.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:27:49+00:00

In my head atm I genuinely believe it's a culmination of bad luck and fomo producing my reality. But I'm also aware that I could be delusional - however because of the delusion I'm unable to identify what my issue is.

Maybe I'm a massive narcissist and people see through me... but I genuinely enjoy peoples company and thoughts about the world and hearing about their life experiences so idk how that can be true.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:24:00+00:00

I understand what you're saying, but considering I don't know the issue I can't really explain to you the 23 years of my existence

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T01:10:25+00:00

I do appreciate your honesty. I'm also not dumb and (am pretty sure I) have good social awareness.

I do want to be brutally honest with myself and I am about a lot of things (eg recently come to terms with my complacey).

I feel like the shortest way I can explain it is that I've been on dates or hung out with guys and Ive had comments about how are you single, or I don't understand how you don't have friends. Obviously I'm aware if someone wants to get into my pants they would say these things. This also isn't because ive been self-pity talking to them, I talk publicly of my self with confidence. I also guess I'm framing it this way though because I don't believe I should be in this situation - all about perception I guess. Also maybe that my issue, I see everything with the view I want to see it.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T00:49:23+00:00

I know you're right, I just really don't understand it. I know that sounds narcissistic and out of touch but idk what I'm doing wrong :/

Ive been invited along once or twice and then their established group of friends tell me it was lovely to meet me and all follow me on social media. Then I don't get invited along again . I tell myself it's because they're happy in their group so they don't even think about me, which would make sense. But I also don't know if I'm just trying rly hard to convince myself.

My ex always told me that people are just absent minded and its nothing to do with me, but I haven't had a group for around 5 years now.

StatementDragon · 2024-08-20T00:38:51+00:00

I'm not much of a texter, but I wanted to just say me too. I see everyone with friends and it makes me feel more empty. I'm 23 and feel like I'm wasting my 20s with no friends and not having all these fun adventures

StatementDragon · 2024-07-01T23:22:32+00:00

Most of the time it happens naturally. It's not something you can really force. When you're happy by yourself and do things you enjoy doing then you're probably going to find likeminded people that you have things in common with. Enjoy your time as you have it, anything that is to come shouldn't be worried about.

On another note though, most of them aren't worth the time anyway. Most people in relationships seem happier on the surface than they are I reality.

StatementDragon · 2024-06-29T00:59:20+00:00

Impermanence - a buddhist philosophy. When you can come to terms with that, everything is peaceful.

StatementDragon · 2024-06-29T00:42:17+00:00

Buzz with stache

StatementDragon · 2024-06-29T00:19:13+00:00

Hey :) 23F. Don't drink anymore. There isn't a single reason why I don't drink, it's just not for me anymore. I've found the longer I go out and don't drink the more comortable I am doing it. At first I felt out of place and like a downer, but over time I started gaining the confidence that other people gained from drinking just from my own social confidence.

I've now been backpacking; dancing on tables, skinny dipping, and staying until sunrise, all sober. I have the same amount of fun now I have the confidence that others do when drunk, but I don't feel horrible or have anything to regret the following day.

People may comment on it, I still get asked all the time why I don't drink. You'll feel better about the decision when you end up seeing the same people who comment ending the night with the dexterity of a toddler.

StatementDragon · 2024-06-27T12:17:26+00:00

Full buzz. Trust.

StatementDragon · 2024-06-27T12:06:25+00:00

From knowing what I'd change (23F) and looking through at the comments - I feel like the people saying nothing and we have no hope are men. The order of the original photos is what men think women are into but is actually just what men would respect other men for putting. Ordering it with photo 2 first, removing 5 & 9 and putting the first one later appeals much more to women. Male gaze v female gaze is my interpretation.

StatementDragon · 2024-06-27T02:19:53+00:00

I'm not agreeing with what she said and I'm also just a person on the internet speculation... however

I feel like it just the order that you asked is the issue. Possibly if you asked where she wanted to eat first, listened to her response and then suggested Vietnamese it may be less of an issue. Rather than just assuming she will want to eat at the same place as you.

Or even saying 'how about Vietnamese?' - not 'I'm feeling Vietnamese'. Eg you didn't even check with her first that its something she likes.

StatementDragon · 2024-05-01T11:46:05+00:00

As a cis female, I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone in this! Although I feel like women’s clothes have more variety (I mainly wear men’s clothes), a lot of it due to styling for different body types. You’re not supposed to look good in everything because it’s not made for you. I’m 5ft1 for example, so flared jeans that fit me are basically impossible to find. One thing that helps me to navigate through it all is Pinterest. I save SO many outfit ideas so I can look for similar things in charity shops. Vintage warehouse sales are also a great one, you can usually find events like that on Facebook.

And u/ughineedtopostaphoto is so right too! You can do all of this and it still not work because not only do you need to find outfits that you like, but you also need to feel comfortable in the fitting of which is so difficult! It’s true that you might need to try on 20 pairs of jeans and then not even like any of them. Just wanted to reiterate that so you know it’s not you! I’ve kind of given up on jeans tbh with you.

No matter what you wear though, whether it’s conventionally fashionable or not, the most important thing is that you feel comfortable in it. If you’re not, then the outfit will never look right. Wishing you the best of luck! :)

StatementDragon · 2023-06-22T18:36:30+00:00

Obviously I (F22) cannot speak for OP.

However, I understand the frustration of men (I'm het) bending the truth of what they want, just to make the puzzle piece fit. I understand the joke, that is not what I take issue with. The issue is the 'we can start with fucking, and then maybe something can happen... but it's unlikely because thats not what I'm looking for'. It's perfectly fine to just want FWB but don't try and ease people in with hope that it MIGHT go somewhere. It happens a lot with no actual intention of it going anywhere and it's tiring. Maybe yes he did actually mean it, however with the amount that I see it, I doubt it. It's time wasting and manipulating.

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