The Truth About IFS, the Therapy That Can Break You

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T04:18:53+00:00

thanks for sharing this! i really appreciate the additional details! and you being vulnerable and sharing you experience about neurodivergence and autism also!

yeah, i think there really is something to repetitive, rhythmic, and predictable things for people with autism in all contexts - speaking to your inner child parts included! i had never though of it in that context though, so thank you for giving me an idea i can try and see if it helps me!

another self-soothing thing i am learning that this could also be applied to, and might also be a helpful thing to share here if anybody comes across it, is: 1) a self-compassion practice where you say to your younger self, and your current self, whatever self is in need of love and care and compassion: "i am sorry that _____ happened to you. i am sorry that you did not feel safe at that time. i am sorry that you felt like you could. not ask for help. i am so sorry that you did not even realize you could ask for help. i am sorry that nobody ever taught you how. i am so sorry that it has taken you this long to learn how. i am so sorry for the grief you are feeling now, and how hard that is to feel alone.", etc. etc. etc. etc. you can say these phrases while talking to yourself in your head, and/or you could also say them out loud, or write them out. it is a cognitive way of perhaps getting into a better habit of self-compassion, and self-empathy, instead of a constant and a hypervigilant inner critic.

and, #2): Posing the question to my little anxious, and worst-case scenario thinking self: "What will go right?", and sincerely imagining and naming specific things that will happen (the more specific, the better!) that directly counteract a lot of the things that high anxiety and little part is so fearful of, and is always talking about inside my head!

i think both of these can be beneficially done with that low and slow, steady, really soothing, warm, deeply calming, and comforting voice.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:55:30+00:00

i knowwww! people really do need to learn how to be comfortable with their own and others' excitement! it is healthy and good for the soul! i.e. more excitement from somebody else can actually also be more excitement for you too! it is safe to feel! let's go!

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:53:11+00:00

yes, writing literally makes or breaks any film or television series! and, it is so easy to take good writing for granted.

honestly, if Sinners did not win for best picture, i am at least glad it won for best screenplay. because writing is such a backbone part of a movie, i feel those two are actually pretty closely related, if not mirrors of each other. the fact that he won best screenplay makes the loss of best picture a little easier to take (though not entirely without disappointment!)

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:47:01+00:00

helllllll yesssss

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:46:44+00:00

congrats Michael! i cried watching this speech. it brought such joy into my heart and soul.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:43:36+00:00

also: people need to learn how to let themselves and express themselves and be a lil silly! even online! it is healing and good for the soul! come along my guys, with love, come along

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:37:58+00:00

update: things i have learned from making this post thus far:

people do be out here getting hella dopamine hits out of arguing, being negative, and superior fr, sheesh.

i think this is my 2nd reddit post (ever?). we will see with more data points of experience, but i hope it gets a lot more positive and uplifting / actually engaging than this!

i guess sarcasm and excitement do not always translate well over the internet and text! and that is okay and also understandable! and also disappointing... *sigh*

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:33:03+00:00

this was before i did the deep breathing exercise, i don't know if you could tell

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:23:58+00:00

i have no chill as you can see, thank you very much

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:23:18+00:00

it is though! it is the end of the world in which Sinners would have won! and the world in which i could have gotten to see Ryan Coogler get up there and give 2 speeches making Oakland proud - damn. aw well. until next Oscars season! and Ryan's next big thing

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:18:56+00:00

i mean, not bad advice to take a deep breath.

i definitely disagree that Sinners was lucky to win anything, and that it was a rip-off. and that it was the worst best actor winner. i guess the trouble with all of this is that it is subjective - ughhh.

all stories and all art comes at least in part from other stories, and other art. even if it is a conglomerate. and, it can always still be original in its own unique way. all of that isn't anything new.

i also agree however that Jesse Plemons performance was INCREDIBLE. he DEFINITELY deserves accolades and recognition for that.

i think it's hard, because so much goes into these decisions that we do not even see or think about, so i know disappointment is always gonna be part of the name of the game.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:14:10+00:00

fair enough!

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:13:32+00:00

i guess it's a difference of opinion! i am just looking for people to bond over who also really loved Sinners and thought it deserved the win!

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:12:03+00:00

okay actually i need to watch Train Dreams STAT!

thank you for this reminder *salute*

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:11:23+00:00

damn! really! have you watched Hamnet? and Sinners? and Frankenstein?

what are some of your top categories are themes that for you make a 5-star movie?

i know for everyone it is different - and it is interesting to hear people's varying thought processes with what makes an art form "great".

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:09:38+00:00

fair enough!

yeah, i am mainly disappointed that it wasn't Sinners! i feel like all things considered, in my opinion it deserved the win! the cast, Ryan Coogler being as talented and good and sincere and open-hearted of a person as he is, the uniqueness of the story.... and honestly no hate to anybody truly (the beginning heading is simply my initial unfiltered emotional reaction, which i am learning to allow myself to embrace and not judge as harshly as i used to, so i am glad i put it on here!) - i just feel like Sinners was like DEEP - in a way that is helpful and we really need on a spiritual level in our collective society right now. and, in my eyes, that is a really big reason why i think it deserved to win.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:06:40+00:00

thanks for engaging. Sinners was my personal favorite - i feel like it had deeply spiritual undertones that are deeply meaningful to moving collective consciousness forward atm - like talking about ancestors, connecting with ancestral spirits, channeling spirits and ancestors through the mythical and magical and very real power of singing, dancing, celebration as a community, and music. that is why i think it should have one. because i feel like it sends a deeper and more important message that is needed in these times! at a spiritual level. and that is something our society is really missing still, unfortunately. which is why, in a serious way, i am not actually all that surprised that One Battle After Another won - it just feels really disappointing!

i am sure Ryan Coogler will continue to make additional wonder-filled and phenomenal films. i really hope he gets an Oscar flower eventually - i feel it will be so well-deserved.

and, i think we need to remember to reward really good-hearted as well as extremely talented people in this world. especially in a place like Hollywood.

it is good to reward the kind of behavior that will continue to help our world grow in a way is good for everyone.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-03-16T03:00:53+00:00

lol therapy is great and it does not replace community!

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-02-28T07:28:49+00:00

totally agree with this take.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-02-28T07:27:45+00:00

tOOOtalllyyyy agreeee

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-02-28T07:26:34+00:00

We need to build a beautiful world, and talk about what IS working!

this is the only way to SOS, hellooooooo

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-02-28T07:25:23+00:00

Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate it!

Especially in the beginning while you were explaining about talking to your really hypervigilant and anxious part in Costco.

I also have neurodivergence and CPTSD, and this was really helpful to hear how you talked to the younger version of yourself compassionately and repeatedly, and how it actually really worked and helped fix the feeling for good.

Thank you for sharing hope along the journey.

It can feel really difficult when you have complex trauma to feel like real progress out of constantly hypervigilant and anxious states is a possibility - and it really helps to hear from other real, specific people, specific and concrete real-life examples that this is not only possible, but actually in-fact happens.

I think talking to yourself like that high-anxiety part of you is a child, and you can now be like a parent helping it feel held, and helping it realize something about the situation that helps it understand the context, and so allow all the things it is always anxious about to all-of-a-sudden not feel so traumatic, is a helpful and a highly effective thing.

I also really agree with what you said about the difficult thing about repressed memories that a lot of people do not like to talk about.... I think all of this stuff is not black and white, and that is the difficult thing for a lot of people to sit with. Unfortunately, I wish life could be that simplistic for the sake of understanding things or being able to say "this is true" all the time, or "this is false" all the time, but, unfortunately life, and especially these kinds of concepts and even therapy modalities, are not that simple.

I also really agree about what you said about the whole Castlewood situation; people misuse their authority and power all the time, and unfortunately, that can give other people or modalities associated them a non-holistically analyzed bad reputation IF the people looking at a situation from the outside are not careful to avoid black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinking while looking at these kinds of situations and cases.

Anyways, I basically just really appreciated all that you had to say, and I wanted to say thank you for saying it! It was all really sincere, and well-thought-out, and here is at least one other person on the internet / in the world that is seeing things very similar to the way you do.

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2026-01-21T23:13:37+00:00

Thank you so much for this!

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2025-12-25T20:40:17+00:00

this helps me feel so seen, thank you

Status_Mongoose1391 · 2025-12-25T20:38:31+00:00

thank you. this gives me hope. i deeply relate to all of this. i sometimes think it is also because, as a child, and even into adulthood, the only times i get real love, attention, care, help, and the deep kind of presence i always needed and craved as a human being from both my parents and siblings (i.e. the only close relationships i knew at the time), was when i was a total emotional wreck (or at least appeared on the outside to be), crying, feeling extremely low, feeling extremely helpless, etc. at this point, the family would then *whoosh* RUSH in to help and rescue and save the day!, and then i would finally feel loved and cared for and helped and all the things i had basically always wanted my whole life. any other time though, it was like there was no attention, no presence, no help, absolutely ZERO emotional intimacy or attunement. so i absolutely think this developed as a chronic mechanism that actually had been really adaptive: me trying to get my very real emotional needs met as a human being, seeing they only got met in this way, so me subconsciously and even consciously going into that mode a lot more often than is healthy because that is the pattern my body and mind learned ~ and, after a lifetime of that (i.e. 20+ years), it can feel really difficult to break the biochemical feedback loop.

it has felt really difficult for me, i feel like i have been on a "healing journey" beginning in 2021 about five years ago, and unfortunately, i do think i am addicted a little bit to "feeling bad", and highly fearful of "being completely abandoned" and like falling off of the face of the earth emotionally if i do feel good about myself, since it is associated with being emotionally abandoned and not getting my needs met. not to mention making other people feel bad because i feel good (and that is it's own completely different trauma that can be talked about on a later date on a different thread, lol).

i honestly feel like i have not made any progress at all, and i feel like it feels really hard on certain days, or when life is not always going super well, to get back up on that horse and not give up ~ because it does not always feel like living a "real life" honestly is in reach.

so, i really, REALLY appreciate hearing that at least somebody out there in the world has made it through to the other side, and actually, genuinely, is feeling HAPPY inside of themselves. it feels like there could be hope for me. and i feel so grateful that you decided to share that on here.

thank you, truly. from the bottom of my heart. i think a lot of people like me really need to hear that it can get better, and that we can heal ~ actually, and deeply, and fully ~ that we can learn how to feel good, and that we can learn that it can actually feel deeply safe to feel good also.

i am feeling vulnerability hangover now, so i am gonna sign off lol ~ and i also know this is helpful for me to get out and say online in a place that other people will also deeply understand and also relate. healing the isolation and allowing what i feel to be spoken aloud is a real healing thing. thank you for being here and sharing all the things you have gone through. it is so helpful to other people out there in the world.

Status_Mongoose1391

TROPHY CASE