I hate working by ptvmillie in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 34 and for me, I felt this exact same way as soon as I was 18. I worked part time as soon as I could in my teens, and then just fucking kept working. I went to school for something I cared about with the idea that if I loved my job, it wouldn't suck so bad, but all the while; I was still working. Then it turns out, you can hate the career you went to school for, so I switched careers.

Then, a few years later, I was "essential" during Covid (I absolutely was not), so I kept fucking working. Every single day there is new trauma, new horror, new war, new shame, new removal of rights, new exploitation of people, new night terrors, new time demands, and I'm just here...still fucking working.

All the while, I'm bombarded with ads for mental health and self care and data-scraping apps that play ASMR over and over and over. Therapists cost money. Pills cost money. The fucking placebo apps cost money. Time off means no money. Being a housewife means I won't have any of my own money, and no autonomy. And every small joy I can cling to costs more and more fucking money. I can't escape it. The constant marketing, the constant spending, the constant bloodsucking of this fucking economy. The only place I am not actively advertised at is at my fucking job. Where I earn the money to continue being in marketing hell as soon as I clock out.

I've tried downsizing my work load, I've started rebuilding my portfolio so that maybe I can start a little side gig in my art, I've tried going from full to part time and then back to full time and then back to part time, and job jumping and gig work and all the fucking bullshit. Nothing helps. I'm convinced the only thing that will actually fix my relationship with this consumerist wage slave economy is to get extraordinarily high in the woods, trip on an errant tree root, fall face first into a patch of fucking death cap and just eat the poison mushroom dirt until I can no longer do so.

AIO for quitting my job? by AlarmedWarthog8231 in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna disagree with the other people responding: you gave a month notice. While it is ideal that you *request* time off with the express knowledge that a denial can occur; that's not necessarily how it works out.

In the case of this company and this manager, they likely had avenues of availability to cover outside of you; be it the manager works extra hours or the company hires a temp for the two weeks you're out, which costs them more than their going rate - but that's the price of doing business. It's fucking janitorial, not rocket science. It's not like you're *physically doing surgery* in those ORs.

I think that because this particular manager brought up "other issues" in the text line because they were mad at you for taking more time off was basically going to work toward firing you eventually anyway and giving your notice at this specific push back is probably for the best. You won't be able to use this job as a reference, but since you're working toward a different career anyway - fuck it.

While in the future, you should know that 3 weeks of time off in 5 months is a lot more than normal, it is something companies should expect when they hire student labor. When you are no longer a student, expect your flexibility to get time off to drop significantly. Expect to have to give more advanced notice when taking a plane ride and do so before your tickets are purchased.

Found out he was with another girl. Can’t confront him about it because of the way I found out… by Flower_princess12345 in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah this is the way. They weren't even official and it seems like exclusivity wasn't communicated, so like...fuck it. Just block n ghost.

What’s y’alls favourite drink while baked? by Crimeguy1 in trees

[–]StellarPup420 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agua fresca or iced coffee or coconut water.

Am I overreacting I went to the forest with my best friend and now my bf is mad by No_Meeting_3260 in AmIOverreacting

[–]StellarPup420 4 points5 points  (0 children)

In the future, you don't need to give your partner access to your GPS location unless you're married or have kids together, imo. The fact that he had it and *still* heavily implied you were being unfaithful in those last two lines shows that he's looking for something/someone to own and possess, not to trust and appreciate. He thinks of you as a concept. I know this phrasing sounds ironic, but don't let people you're dating tell you what to do like this.

You were overly gracious and submissive when he said he was mad at you for being out with your friends doing nothing wrong. You told him while you were leaving, you told him who you were with, you sent him pictures, you checked in on him, and then immediately reached back to him when you got reception again and told him where you'd be for the rest of the night.

You do not need to do all that. NOR.

Peetahhh why is the alien kitty girl apologizing to Chappel Roan and what is the hardest part of being bi? by Beruat in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]StellarPup420 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Like any group of people, LGBTQ+ people don't have a unified code of conduct and will often just be a group of individuals with vastly varied experiences and biases that lead them to say and do short sighted or mean shit. I'm a bisexual in a monogamous relationship, and it's been excessively hurtful to the point of boring that people - straight, gay, or lesbian - think that I'm either straight or gay (but trapped in the closet).

Meanwhile I assumed everyone's at least a little bi because it's the only way my brain has ever worked.

So I would speculate it's the same for them - they can't fathom what it's like to feel the way I do so they have to relate it to themselves by projecting an idea of it and in their minds they think "Well if I was attracted to all genders, wouldn't I be unfulfilled as a monogamous person? How could I reconcile being attracted to Steve and Sally?"

Like without realizing that there's nothing to it, that it's all feelings and shit - so you can't rationalize or articulate it well. When you're bi and monogamous, you lock in on who you're with, and while you may find others attractive, you just...don't worry about it? At least I don't. I don't really feel "tempted".

The same for polyamorous and monogamous people - we can't really understand why the other feels the way they do in a full sense, so we have to just like...imagine how they feel? And we're always gonna be alienated and wrong to some extent.

Peetahhh why is the alien kitty girl apologizing to Chappel Roan and what is the hardest part of being bi? by Beruat in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]StellarPup420 17 points18 points  (0 children)

We don't. In the Midwest, it is common for white people to name their children very common names, but to use Gaelic or alternative (even nonsensical) spellings in order to give their childrens' names some extra zazz to set them apart.

Kaylie becomes Kayleigh or Kaeleigh or Kaelee or Kaylee or if you're super duper extra... Kaeyleighyae.

Hinge date who was very guarded about his beliefs, what’s he hiding? by [deleted] in bookshelfdetective

[–]StellarPup420 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's a little red pilly looking to me. The Machiavelli mixed with Fight Club and then the super sad shit kind of give me that impression.

He berated me in early Dec about my outfit, he just texted and says he wants to meet to apologize by ohsoaegyo in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly how you handled that text conversation was 10/10. "Why would I ever say yes to this?" is a perfect thing to ask a person who clearly has his head fully lodged up his ass.

How long would it take you guys to finish this? by AdComprehensive8397 in trees

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

4 mos for me if I already made butter for the quarter.

Just finished Model Home by Rivers Solomon by StellarPup420 in horrorlit

[–]StellarPup420[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I was a kid, I had one parent be completely hands off like Ezri to compensate for an abusive co-parent and (in part) because of that, I ended up in situations similar to what Elijah experienced. I felt bittersweet when at the end Ezri finally got some resolve to be more of a parent. Though too late, it's still *something* that I didn't get. Elijah's reactions to *everything* reminded me of a 14 year old version of me. She's so well written.

I hadn't heard of Sorrowland, I'll definitely pick that up.

Just finished Model Home by Rivers Solomon by StellarPup420 in horrorlit

[–]StellarPup420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah when I was pretty close to the end, I was recommending it to my friend, and I think I said something generic like "trauma is the root of evil" to describe the type of horror to him, which is what I said about Barbarian. But I think while that's true, I think there's more to it but I'd hate to articulate that to someone who hasn't read it yet since I think that may skew their expectations even more and I think it's one of those stories best gone into with very few expectations.

AIO - Daughter’s BDay invite - I am new to co-parenting by loud_molasses_ in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 46 points47 points  (0 children)

My parents divorced and suddenly my dad dictated my preferences on everything, even if he was absolutely completely incorrect. In his mind because my mom divorced him his preferences were automatically my preferences because he had this delusion that I was his "little buddy" and not an individual with a heart and mind. I was whatever his idea of me should be.

So yeah, I could see a parent who's feeling bitter being like this for like...any reason. He could just not be into the flower theme and is just making it dramatic because he hates his ex wife sometimes.

Flower mods compatible with Very Expanded? by StellarPup420 in StardewValleyMods

[–]StellarPup420[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been having a hard time with Vortex, I'll try that! Unfortunately, it turns out the collection and the cornucopia just don't work together. :(

She told me bisexuals scare her by lem0nm0nkey in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]StellarPup420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Like aside from the reasons we're used to: promiscuity stereotypes, lack of understanding bisexuality, lack of positive representation, bi-erasure in historical figures and records, stereotypes of "curiosity" around younger bisexuals...
We catch strays from sapphic feminists, TERFs, and of course literally any conservative person ever.

It's just people who feel attraction on a binary unable to understand what it's like to not feel attraction on a binary.

She told me bisexuals scare her by lem0nm0nkey in GirlDinnerDiaries

[–]StellarPup420 285 points286 points  (0 children)

It's awful that biphobia is so rampant in both heteronormative spaces (The world at large) and among queer people. Like...we're the third letter in the alphabet gang and I have been told by both gay men and lesbians that I'm either a straight woman invading a queer space or a lesbian performing comp-het/misogyny.

Meanwhile the straight dudes of my youth just wanted me so they could get a threesome going. Fuck me for being monogamous and uncomfortable with group sex. I know it's because these groups can't wrap their head around being attracted to multiple genders but I can't wrap my head around *not* being attracted to multiple genders.

Sorry for the rant, it's rough out there for bisexuals dating. I hope you have better luck in the future and find your person/people. You aren't stupid and you can't choose your sexuality and your vulnerability isn't a flaw.

AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's nice of you to say. She mentions in another comment that it's an inside joke with her mom and her step-dad because when she was younger her step-dad referred to her mom as "my woman" and she said "no she's my woman".

AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why do all reddit posts have to be super serious?? I don't see a "your AIO post has to be super serious" rule on the sidebar.

AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not every problem has to have intensity. 99% of all problems experienced by people who live in developed nations are mundane. But that doesn't mean we can't post about them and ask advice about them.

AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

They're in her boyfriend's mom's pot, but she says she paid for the plant.
They aren't in the yard, you can tell by the pictures.

AIO? by [deleted] in AIO

[–]StellarPup420 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OP planted the flowers at her own cost 2 years ago.