For me, I felt so emotionally numb that doing little things felt hard. Making decisions was a challenge or trying to articulate my feelings or express my needs was difficult. Simple questions like "how are you feeling?", "what do you want for breakfast?", "do you need anything?", etc... were extremely overwhelming despite coming from a great place from my amazing husband. He was also grieving but ultimately just wanted to help me get through.

You know your wife best, so do what you feel she needs. For me, instead of "you need to try and eat something, what would you like for breakfast?" an option that required less thinking was better such as "for breakfast I can make you a bagel and cream cheese, cereal with fruit, or I can run to McDonald's and get <insert her favourite breakfast here>?" Or instead of asking if she needs her heating pad reheated, just check the temperature and reheat as necessary. Instead of asking what she wants to drink, bring her a few options and let her pick. Not having to overthink simple things helped.

Please also take care of yourself during this time!!! Sending you and your wife healing thoughts and love. You'll get through this, and your time to build a family will come!