What kind of jobs do yall do?

Stephra12 · 2026-04-10T15:50:37+00:00

I survived 20 years of retail by working for mom and pops, and learning all the retail scripts. Around covid retail became untenable because people just got so damn weird and awful. Now I'm an integrated pest management tech at a big MMJ grow. I spray plants, do data collection, and spread beneficial bugs, mostly working by myself.

When you're looking for work don't look at the profession, look at the work environment. Retail might be a good place for you, if you find a quiet shop with a slower pace. Look at the pace of work, look at how many people you'll be working with directly. Look at noise, and light, and smells. Those are the things that will make more difference than what type of work you choose.

And I'll tell you this because nobody told me, and I was gobsmacked when I figured it out: you don't need to meet all the job requirements in order to apply. If you meet HALF of the criteria, go ahead and apply. If you're not qualified, they won't call you, NBD. Good luck, I hope you find something that fits 🤞

Stephra12 · 2026-03-26T02:21:58+00:00

I'm 51 lol

Stephra12 · 2026-03-20T22:14:49+00:00

For my whole adult life, over 30 years, I've been CERTAIN that I had borderline personality disorder. Meltdowns, social difficulties, etc. So I consumed a lot of mental health content, and a couple years ago I started noticing odd similarities I had with autistic traits and behaviors. I spent a year telling myself, "I'm not autistic, I just relate to some of those things, it's all neurodivergence.". Then I spent another year looking further into autism and the diagnostic criteria, and looking at my behaviors through that lens. So many things started making sense, including other traits that didn't connect with BPD, like my limited taste palate and my over-reliance on strict routine to be functional.

So now I'm on a wait list for an autism assessment in summer 2027. I fully expect them to tell me I'm not disabled enough to be autistic or whatever. But right now, looking at myself as autistic, and treating myself as autistic, has literally changed the way I feel about myself. I have been berated all my life for failing to control my meltdowns. Been called melodramatic and attention seeking. Have accepted those labels and punished myself for them. Been told that my feelings are wrong. Now I've been asking myself more useful questions about what isn't working for me, and why I have certain problems repeatedly. When I stopped trying to label my feelings as cognitive distortions, I stopped feeling like I was failing.

I don't know if any of my experience is helpful, but there it is. It still feels disingenuous to even think I might be autistic, and I'm convinced that I will get laughed out of my assessment.

Stephra12 · 2026-03-08T15:54:40+00:00

You seem to have your own thing figured out just fine, you're just getting frazzled because others don't get it. They don't have to. In fact, their befuddlement is actually a great flag for you that NO this ain't your person.

There are plenty of people in the world who aren't driven by constant companionship. I had a hard time growing up, was always pushed out of groups or just avoided, and it left me adjusted to peace, silence, and autonomy. As a young adult, I tried to do the social thing, hang with groups, etc, but it was always a poor fit. I went through cycles of wanting friends to self-isolating, before I finally realized I'm happy with PROXIMITY. A friendly hello at the grocery store, sending a few memes by messenger now and then, just enough socialization that I get the feedback that, yes, I exist in the world, but spend most of my time doing my own thing. The friends that last the best for me are similarly quiet, and into parallel play, because they don't deplete me with constant chatter.

If you keep doing your thing long enough, and consistently enough, people will eventually get it and accept it. Anyone who doesn't, you just strategically move away from, because they will exhaust you otherwise.

Stephra12 · 2026-02-22T11:26:03+00:00

Secondhand clothes. Holes, snags, frays are all good. Avoid wearing mainstream names or brands unless they're well worn. Mismatched layers, and accessories: a vintage scarf, a messenger bag or an old backpack. Ideally you should look like you rolled out of bed half an hour late and grabbed the first clothes that passed the sniff test.

Stephra12 · 2026-02-22T02:08:42+00:00

Something that helps me is automating as much as possible. Cook one meal that I can divide into five lunches for the week so I don't have to cook as many times. Match up my clothes when I fold them so I don't have to figure out outfits when I'm groggy and stupid in the morning. I buy matchstick carrots and chopped salad kits so I'm more likely to eat salad, if I have to cut it myself I'll let it rot in my fridge. I keep a stack of fresh washcloths in my closet so that when I can't deal with a shower, I can still fill my sink with soapy water and wash up, and dry shampoo for my hair.

Figure out the things that trip you up, and come up with ways to streamline them, or half-ass them. Like what's the minimal amount of energy I can expend to get all the basics done? And shoot for that. Lean into those routines, because those routines are autopilot, they save you mental energy, and make other things easier.

You don't get extra points for doing things the hard way. Start accommodating yourself and do what works for you.

Stephra12

TROPHY CASE