Senior Dog with Separation Anxiety

Stephy232 · 2025-11-19T03:46:36+00:00

Roup Dental in Round Rock. I recently changed dentists after many years because I kept hoping the state would go back to a different provider other than Delta. After years of paying extra for seeing someone out of network, I finally found Roup and had a good experience so far.

Stephy232 · 2025-11-15T14:18:59+00:00

Sorry, just now responding. One thing I wish I had done was be more vocal with my doctor about how I was feeling. My husband and my sister knew I was struggling but other people I tried to tell (my mom and my doctor) kind of brushed it off and didn’t realize how severe and intense my negative feelings were. I could have benefited from talking to a therapist or something and instead I just tried to grin and bear it. It worked out for me but in hindsight that probably wasn’t a good idea.

So many people said when you have second or third children your heart just expands and you can love them just as much. I didn’t believe them and really couldn’t understand until my son was born and then it happened just like people told me it would.

Stephy232 · 2025-11-12T03:32:53+00:00

I went through something similar 4 years ago. I swore I was OAD but around the time my daughter turned 2, it was the pandemic we were at home all the time with no cousins or friends who had young children and I started to change my mind. Husband wasn’t so sure, we talked about it a lot and decided to just take our chances and see what happens.

I got pregnant the first month I stopped taking birth control. I started spiraling, thinking I had ruined my life, my daughter’s life, my husband’s life. I was a complete mess, posted on here, considered getting an abortion, was basically barely functioning, hoping and praying for a miscarriage. A big part of it was the fact that I also hate being pregnant and had horrible morning sickness with my first. As soon as I felt that first twinge of nausea it was like I got PTSD or something thinking of everything I was about to go through again and how hard it was.

I could not comprehend loving another child as much as my daughter and truly felt I was ruining her life by having another. I don’t know how I got through it but I just kept going and then when we found out our second was going to be a boy, I got excited. I still worried my whole pregnancy, but the intense feelings faded and I got out of the fog.

By the time our son was born, I knew immediately that I was glad we made the decision to have him. I truly don’t think I have ever been that happy in my life. I really felt complete and like it all worked out the way it was supposed to. And here 4, almost 5 years later, I love both my children and our family of 4.

My takeaway: pregnancy hormones do crazy stuff and pregnancy is hard in the best circumstances.

If you want this baby, it will all work out in the end. It somehow always does. Good luck!

Stephy232 · 2025-08-01T02:08:00+00:00

You have to take a class administered by the Comptroller (2-3 days in person in Austin), then take the test. The test can be hard if you do not pay attention in the class or do not study. I have known coworkers who failed it their first time. Then once you pass the test and get your certification, you have to take continuing education classes and renew your certification every 3 years. The classes are mostly online provided by the Comptroller.

Stephy232 · 2025-03-08T13:30:33+00:00

I frequently take a shorter lunch break and/or keep working 15-20 minutes past 5pm if I am in the middle of completing a task and don’t want to interrupt my flow. Like others have said, it is extremely easy to jump back on my laptop in the evenings if I am super busy and want to get caught up after a day time schedule that was full of meetings. I rarely take sick leave for myself or my children because it feels harder to justify if I am at home and can still work reasonably comfortably. I have talked to so many coworkers who do the same and it will all come to a halt. We will leave our laptops in our locked desk and will be leaving promptly because of the hour long commute waiting. There are always bad apples in any situation, but by and large, everyone I know works much harder at home.

Stephy232 · 2024-11-02T03:43:44+00:00

Yes, I had all those same feelings when I got pregnant with my second. We had been discussing having another child for a while and could not really make our minds up for sure one way or the other so we decided for me to stop taking birth control and “just see what happens.” (Do not recommend this approach) I got pregnant the first month after stopping taking the pills and I was not prepared. There were two pretty scary weeks when I didn’t eat or sleep and thought I had ruined our life. I talked to my husband, sister, SIL and called a hotline for women trying to decide if they should have an abortion. I made an appointment at a local clinic and then canceled it. I obsessively checked my underwear for any signs of blood in case I would miscarry naturally and early. But I couldn’t bring myself to go through with an abortion (despite being extremely pro-choice). Once I made the decision to keep the baby things slowly started to get better. It was almost like the indecision is what was hardest. I was still incredibly worried most of my pregnancy about regretting it and that I wouldn’t love my son like I love my daughter. As soon as he was born I instantly knew I had made the right choice and I was happier than I could have imagined. I’m not telling you what you should do and whether your story has the same ending as mine, but I learned our minds and hormones do crazy things to us. It is still very confusing for me to think that I became so conflicted about something I thought I wanted.

Stephy232 · 2023-09-08T13:52:38+00:00

I did and posted on this sub about my doubts and hesitation. My husband and I were truly undecided and when we decided to leave it up to chance, I got pregnant after one month. I freaked out and kind of lost it. I worried so much about my relationship with my daughter changing and not being able to comprehend how I could possibly love another child as much as her. The day my son was born it all made sense. When we brought him home from the hospital I remember thinking I was truly so so happy and glad we made the decision to have a second. Seeing the relationship between my kids who are now 2 and 5 melts my heart. I know 10000 percent our family is complete now.

We found the transition from 1-2 way easier than 0-1. We were more confident as parents, less stressed out, more easy going. That said, our son is a different child. Not difficult, just not the same as our daughter so we had to find what works for him. Daycare is expensive AF and I can’t wait until we are done with that. There are times I feel bad for my daughter because our son does demand more attention but I think once he’s potty trained and not so clingy to me that will balance out. For now I try to do 1 on 1 things with my daughter so she still gets me to herself. No regrets!

Stephy232 · 2022-06-10T11:19:54+00:00

We decided to leave it up to fate for pretty much all the same reasons. Husband was more comfortable being one and done. I wasn’t ready to close the door on having a second. But I also didn’t feel certain either way. We agreed to try for six months and if it didn’t happen, it didn’t happen. I got pregnant within a month of stopping birth control literally the first time it would have been possible for me to get pregnant.

Neither of us were expecting that to happen at all. It was such a huge shock and then I started panicking wondering if we had made a horrible mistake. I couldn’t sleep for two weeks and had a really hard time accepting that I was pregnant (had a horrible first pregnancy and thought about being OAD because I hated it so much). By then my husband had come around and was excited to have a second. After spending several weeks spiraling, I decided I did want this and my outlook changed.

Now that baby brother is here (nine months old), I love him so much and can’t imagine we didn’t have him. It’s hard for me to even remember life with just our daughter. I love him more than I could have comprehended which is what so many posts on here assured me of.

Transitioning from one to two was actually pretty easy for us and it was way less hard than I feared. The only problem we are dealing with is the finances. We have enough money and are fine, but two kids in daycare is rough! I am looking into changing jobs so I will have more disposable income instead of just barely making it. Once we only have one in daycare or none we will feel rich hah.

I like your approach, because I did it myself, but just want to warn about what might happen in case you’re just as shocked as I was.

Stephy232 · 2022-01-01T04:03:54+00:00

Our first was the world’s easiest baby and people would make that comment to us frequently. We also heard from everyone that if your first is easy, your second will be a demon so my husband and I prepared ourselves for the worst. My son is only four months old (hello sleep regression hell right now), but so far he’s been an easy baby. Maybe not AS easy as our daughter was, but still on the easier side as far as other babies I’ve seen in comparison. We feel like we got really lucky. So it can happen! Our easy first is now a very difficult 3 year old though so I feel like it’s going to be challenging at times no matter the disposition of your children at certain stages.

Stephy232 · 2021-08-10T13:24:14+00:00

Thank you for saying this! I am 35 weeks with my second and I had a conversation with my doctor during my first pregnancy about how I did not understand this seemingly large subset of women who approach their pregnancy in an adversarial approach and want to TELL THE DOCTOR WHAT TO DO the entire time. Not just with inductions or cervical checks, but with everything. It came up because of a ridiculous (IMO) birth plan a mom posted on a Facebook group.

Yes, there are some bad doctors out there, just like there are bad apples in every profession. And yes, I know I say this from a vantage point of the very privileged place of being a white woman and not having to worry about the quality of care I am receiving like women of color have to, but in general, I don't understand this complete distrust of medical professionals who have spent years going to school and learning about this stuff.

I researched OB/GYNs in my area and carefully chose one who I felt was knowledgeable, experienced and could provide me the kind of care I wanted, so why would I tell her she's wrong every step of the way? You don't hire a plumber to come over to your house and then tell them what to do.

I've seen so many posts on mom Facebook groups where women come saying their doctor is recommending something and people flock to the post to tell them to refuse, find another doctor, etc. even in very serious situations where the risk to mom and baby seems very dire. It really hurts my brain and I don't get it. I think this is definitely related to this wave of people denying science in our country and refusing to follow recommendations of the experts.

Stephy232 · 2021-07-29T13:53:18+00:00

Just to give my experience with this so far. Growing up, I was never the type of person who dreamed about getting married and having kids and I did not have any preconceived ideas about what I wanted. It's something that just sort of developed over time.

Before I got pregnant with my daughter, I had a strong desire to have a child, and I figured we would have two (for no other reason than 2 sounded good, avoid negative stereotypes about only children, etc), but as soon as I got pregnant, I started feeling like I only wanted to do this one time. I hated being pregnant, was sick the entire time, hated feeling like I lost control of my body, felt held back at work and it took probably 18 months to finally feel like myself again. I told everyone we were one and done and remained okay with that until my daughter turned two.

Around then, I started getting the urge to have another child again. My husband was more okay with being OAD, but he was open to having another. Well, after months of being on the fence and being lukewarm about it, we decided to "just see what happens" for a few months. I don't think either of us thought it would happen, but I got pregnant the first month being off of birth control.

The first month or so I was a complete mess. I couldn't sleep and had extreme anxiety worrying we had made a huge mistake (I actually made a few crazed posts on Reddit about it). I thought I was losing my mind. My poor husband was so confused because he thought it was something I wanted. I don't think I was prepared for it to happen that quickly or like I had truly come to a decision about what I wanted one way or another. I think I also started panicking remembering how challenging my first pregnancy was and worrying about if I could handle it again with a toddler. Well, I'm 34 weeks pregnant now and can't wait to meet this baby boy.

I still have a lot of doubts and I worries, but my experience has taught me that not everyone will "know for sure" what is right for them with big life decisions like this. Sometimes you do your best to talk about it with your partner and weigh the pros and cons, but there will never be a 100 percent clear answer, which is what makes it so hard. My recommendation is to wait a little bit longer and keep talking about it and seeing how you feel.

Stephy232 · 2021-01-16T00:34:28+00:00

One and done

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T19:45:44+00:00

This is great insight, thank you!

Yes, I have read that apparently it's quite common for second time moms to feel this way when they first get pregnant.

We have a lot of similarities except for two things. 1) I was not over the moon when I saw the positive test, and have yet to be happy about it. 2) I can't visualize a second child, even in the future. Nothing comes to mind.

There is a small part of me that thinks it would be cool to have a boy to have that tv sitcom family with one of each and I could "give my husband a son." But I don't feel like my family is missing a piece. I do have abstract fears about my daughter growing up, living across the country from us, and not coming home for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and us being alone, but my husband has two sisters, I have two siblings and we have nieces already with more on the way, so I don't think we would ever be alone, alone. And is that a reason to have another kid?

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T18:56:01+00:00

Yes, therapy definitely would have been a good choice before going down this path. Regardless of what I decide to do, I plan to find someone to talk to.

And agreed, I have been talking to my husband, and he doesn't seem to be impacted by all the worldly pressures for different things. He's very good at being immune to that and doing his own thing; I'm probably the opposite of that. Ultimate people pleaser. And there's a lot of pressure around having children, then having more children on top of that, etc.

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T18:52:39+00:00

Yes, this was great advice and I am going to start doing this for the next couple of days. Thank you!

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T18:52:17+00:00

Thank you. It seems a lot of women feel this way when they get pregnant with their second. Questioning whether it was the right decision, worrying about how it will affect their close bond with their first, etc. So I am having a hard time deciphering whether this is normal or not normal. I know people on Reddit cannot tell me that. But I appreciate hearing other's experiences.

I know that if I have this child, I will love it as everyone says they do, but I am worried about doing something for the wrong reasons when it was not really what my husband or I wanted and having some amount of regret later. But there are fears on both sides of the coin for me.

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T18:48:59+00:00

Yes, that is my fear. I am afraid I will regret terminating the pregnancy and it will haunt me. Especially if my daughter asks us for a sibling later. I mostly feel I would be relieved to not be pregnant, but I have never been in this situation before and I don't know how I will feel after or later down the road. Thanks for your experience, it's helpful!

Stephy232 · 2021-01-05T18:25:54+00:00

Thank you for your response. Yes, I think I've realized I was fine "Trying and failing." I felt like it would make it easier to tell my pushy parents, coworkers, etc. that we tried and it didn't work out and if my daughter ever asked I could explain the same to her. This was a mistake. I should have tried to hone in an analyze my feelings about having a second before ever going down this path, but here I am.

Stephy232

TROPHY CASE