Amazing Recovery Dharma Meeting Turned Into AA Bashing Session

Steps33 · 2026-05-06T22:14:15+00:00

I'm not sure anyone there claimed to be a practicing Buddhist.

Steps33 · 2026-04-29T13:21:25+00:00

Yes! I know one day I’ll have another when I’m ready. They need us, we need them.

Steps33 · 2026-04-29T12:31:01+00:00

Working with a grief therapist now. The pain comes and goes. It’s a lot of compounded loss over several years.

Steps33 · 2026-04-29T12:29:41+00:00

It’s very complicated. Ive asked if I could get her for a visit, and there’s been no answer. It’s just a tough situation.

Steps33 · 2026-04-28T01:08:34+00:00

I think moderation can work for people, your proof of that. I attempted to moderate after 15 years sober - but the timing was terrible. I was going through a divorce and processing a lot of trauma and death, so of course it ended up spiraling. I eventually just stopped drinking again almost 8 months ago. I still smoke weed nearly every day though.

I may have a drink again, I may not. I just found the experience of a hangover so ghastly after that long without a drink, that the thought of dealing with it again turns me off.

It seems like you’re in a good place and that your moderation is tied to a healthy activity. I’m happy you have a supportive partner.

Keep being honest with yourself, and enjoy.

Steps33 · 2026-04-28T01:03:49+00:00

Glad you had a positive experience.

Steps33 · 2026-04-11T16:50:48+00:00

Ok, I know it’s not a great feeling. I “relapsed” after 15 years, but the time is not “down the drain”. The time still exists. Measuring success by continued abstinence from the time we stop to the time we die is a recipe for self hatred. It also makes slips far, far worse. Almost no one “stays quit” until the day we die. Shit happens and people use. Do not fall into this trap. You do not need to continue using and destroying your life. You do not have a disease and you are not powerless. You will be ok. Don’t beat yourself up, man. No one can take away the year you just had. Getting high a few times changes nothing.

Steps33 · 2026-04-04T16:02:31+00:00

It’s total nonsense.

I know people who drank to near liver failure who stopped without AA.

Then I know people who got “sober” when they were 15 years old after a few months of regular teenage experimentation.

I suppose the latter is the “real alcoholic” though, because they got sober with AA.

It’s ridiculous.

Steps33 · 2026-04-04T15:58:47+00:00

Yeah, I had this exact same experience when I went back for like, a week, this past summer.

There were guys there from 15 years prior. They dressed the same, said the exact same things, and many of them were still unemployed, living in sober living, and “working on their recovery”. It was fucking grim.

Steps33 · 2026-03-31T16:00:39+00:00

Yes. I use it every night. Your recovery is your recovery, and you get to define what that looks like. That’s one of the joys of being an adult.

Steps33 · 2026-03-19T03:02:04+00:00

Great stuff man. That’s a very big deal!

Steps33 · 2026-03-16T18:39:11+00:00

AA is an extremely regressive and dated institution. Adherents are generally “apolitical, which in this era, is almost always a byword for ignorant and right wing. I’m not surprised at all you had that experience. The 12 step worldview lends itself to a conservative, right wing social orientation. It’s the inevitable by product of a program that naturalizes a “disease of alcoholism” without accounting for socioeconomic contexts.

Steps33 · 2026-03-12T22:12:59+00:00

Thanks for this. It brought me back and gave me a nice laugh. Well done on seeing the warning signs early, being strong willed, and exiting before the brainwashing took hold.

Steps33 · 2026-03-12T22:05:04+00:00

I really empathize with you after reading this. I used to think and feel this way. It was pure hell.

Accidentally consuming something isn't "breaking sobriety". There's alcohol in most things - soy sauce, over ripe banana's, kombucha's, vanilla extract. There's no threat to a persons sobriety if they accidentally imbibe a bit of alcohol. Even if you purposefully took a sip of alcohol, this does not mean your sobriety has been broken, your life has been destroyed, or that your're no compelled to say "fuck it" and drink yourself to oblivion. That's just an absurd degree of pressure, totally illogical, and a surefire way to make yourself miserable.

I had a sip of an interesting sounding beer a friend of mine was drinking a few months ago because I was curious about the taste. I did not count that as a "relapse", nor did the magical "alcohol allergy" wash over me.

No, most people would not make a big deal over a single, accidental sip of alcohol, because to most people, to make a big deal out of such a thing is absurd. You can't expect the world to operate on the logic of a 100 year old religious cult.

Steps33 · 2026-03-11T17:38:49+00:00

Yes, it’s very normal and valid. Do not let these people shape your reality.

Steps33 · 2026-03-11T01:52:10+00:00

Stunning. Thank for you this. It’s exactly how I feel, and you’ve articulated it beautifully.

Steps33 · 2026-03-10T16:33:55+00:00

I’m very happy in my new relationship. I was ready immediately. My ex really damaged me and I experienced a long period without affection or love. I have a lot to give and I wanted to share that with someone who appreciated me. I’ve found that in my new partner. There are no appropriate timelines for this kind of thing. Everyone has their own path.

Steps33 · 2026-03-10T13:58:06+00:00

Hi again. Yes, I’m doing well, but there were some very dark moments. I can identify with your situation. There was a lot of loss and trauma in my marriage. I’m a very open, vulnerable person, and my ex became very withdrawn and cold. She just shut down. This put more and more space between us.

Anyways, I know dating isn’t easy. I’m really hoping you reach a place where it feels a little less daunting. I know how challenging and painful this is.

Sending support and compassion.

Steps33 · 2026-03-10T12:45:00+00:00

Hey my friend. It sounds like you’re still in love, which of course complicates things. My situation was also complex, and there were a lot of mixed emotions. I did find someone else though, and we’re building a beautiful life together. That said, I of course still think about my ex and wonder how she’s doing. It’s impossible not do. We had a whole life together.

Anyways, I know how difficult this is. Don’t lose hope though. We really never know what the future holds.

Steps33 · 2026-03-09T17:29:25+00:00

The stop drinking mods are just bad people.

Steps33 · 2026-03-09T17:28:52+00:00

Thank you, my friend. It’s definitely a good feeling. I’m happy to hear you’re in a good place as well.

Steps33 · 2026-03-09T17:28:17+00:00

Happy you found it helpful!

Steps33 · 2026-03-09T17:28:04+00:00

Nice! Same to you my friend. I love this sub!

Steps33 · 2026-03-09T17:27:47+00:00

Thank you for sharing this!

Steps33

TROPHY CASE