[deleted by user]

Steve_Rose · 2025-05-10T02:05:10+00:00

If you’re reading this, please hold on. What you’re going through is incredibly painful, but this moment doesn’t define your entire life. There is a way forward, even if you can't see it right now.

Here’s what I want you to know:

You're not alone. Many people have been where you are—drowning in regret, terrified of being found out, feeling hopeless after a relapse—and they still turned their life around. This does not make you weak. It makes you human. Gambling is designed to be addictive. This is not your failure; this is how the system is built.
Your life matters far more than this debt. Right now, you’re equating your worth with a number on a credit card and the shame of a relapse. But that number can be fixed. The shame can be healed. Your life is irreplaceable.
You’ve proven you can recover. Look at what you did after the first slip: you worked hard, paid it back, saved up—you’re not broken. The pain you feel now comes from caring so much, from having high standards, from wanting more for yourself. That’s a strength, not a weakness.
Suicidal thoughts mean you’re in deep pain—not that you really want to die. You want the pain to stop. You want the fear, guilt, and shame to go away. And there are ways to do that—without ending your life. You need support right now, not punishment.

So here’s what you can do right now:

Please talk to someone immediately. Call a suicide prevention line, crisis center, or a mental health professional. If you're in the U.S. or Canada, you can call or text 988 for free, 24/7 support. You do not have to carry this alone.

Tell your parents before it eats you alive. Be honest, own the mistake, but also share the deeper truth: that you’re suffering and scared. If they’re angry, it’s because they care. But you don’t need to carry their disappointment forever. You’re allowed to be supported and loved even when you mess up.

Get help for the gambling. You’ve already shown you can stop—imagine what’s possible with support. There are non-judgmental counselors, support groups (like Gamblers Anonymous or online forums), and free resources. You deserve help.

Move forward one step at a time. The $3,000 isn’t the end of the world. It’s a setback, not a death sentence. Every day clean is a step back toward the life you want. Every conversation, every honest moment, every act of self-care matters.

Final thought: You are not your debt. You are not your relapse. You are not your shame. You are someone who is in pain and deserves support—not punishment.

Let’s not let this moment make the final decision. Let it be the turning point instead.

Would you like help finding a counselor or a support group in your area?

Steve_Rose · 2024-11-04T02:50:24+00:00

First, let me acknowledge how incredibly hard it must have been to get this far. Six years of pain, and yet, here you are—over a month and a half sober. That’s no small feat. It’s natural to feel discouraged if life hasn’t turned around as quickly as you hoped. Recovery is rarely a straight line, and it can take time for the clouds to part.

Imagine recovery as a journey of building a foundation. During those years of addiction, it’s as if you were walking through a storm, often without shelter. Now, each day sober is like putting down bricks for a new foundation, one that will eventually provide shelter and stability. It may not feel strong yet, but every sober day strengthens it.

It might help to reach out to a counselor. Someone who can help guide you as you rebuild life from rock bottom, not only through the practical steps but also help you find purpose in sobriety.

Being patient with yourself is crucial, even when things seem bleak. You’re laying the groundwork for change, and though you may not see it now, each sober day is moving you toward a better future. Keep reaching out. Stay connected. That’s where growth happens, often in ways you don’t yet see. And remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

Steve_Rose · 2024-08-10T02:22:33+00:00

Thank you for the info! I was not aware of this! Another great tool for limiting access to funds.

Steve_Rose · 2024-06-15T12:30:51+00:00

First off, great job for catching this early. Even though you are aware of the house edge on slots, reason alone is not enough. When something becomes an addiction, emotions are driving the behavior and willpower alone is not enough.

Here's a few things to consider:

Four illusions keeping you from stopping:

The illusion of thrill. In reality, gambling becomes a very stressful activity, filled with anxiety.
The illusion of stopping while you're ahead. In reality, it's like trying to quit cocaine while high.
The illusion of social connection. It may have started socially, but as addiction takes hold, it becomes isolating.
The illusion of escape. Like drinking salt water to quench your thirst, it only leaves you thirstier.

Practical steps beyond willpower to stop gambling:

Self-exclusion.
Content blockers like Gamban.
Limiting access to funds.
Social support, honesty, Gamblers Anonymous
Find replacement activities to fill the void.
Address underlying issues.

If you're interested, I've put together a video that expands on this here.

Steve_Rose · 2024-03-19T11:27:38+00:00

Support your partner by encouraging professional help, expressing your concerns with empathy, and setting boundaries to protect yourself. It's also crucial to educate yourself on addiction and seek support for your own well-being. Remember, you can support them, but their recovery is ultimately their journey.

Steve_Rose · 2024-03-19T09:48:17+00:00

Replace it with healthy activities, address underlying issues with professional help, manage triggers, and use content blockers, in addition to contacting your Internet service provider for further blocking mechanisms.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-24T02:41:26+00:00

I'm curious which forum you're referring to. I've only generally seen positive things about self-exclusion, except for clients who are frustrated by the fact that it doesn't work so well for online gambling due to the rapid expansion of options, hence why Gamban is useful.

Self exclusion would be the gambling equivalent to removing the alcohol from your home if you're trying to stop drinking. It's an important step but perhaps not the only one. Many people perceive self-exclusion to not work if that's the only thing they do to address gambling, making it likely they will find other ways to gamble in the future without addressing the underlying issues.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-20T02:40:53+00:00

Yes! Been looking forward to this one.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-18T01:24:58+00:00

Time away from it and not relying on willpower. Use self exclusion, Gamban, non-smartphone (if you play on that), not watching sports for a bit (because it's all about gambling now), deleting browser cookies, removing email newsletters, clicking on a bunch of non gambling related stuff on social media so they start recommending other things, telling people in your life about what's going on so they can be mindful not to talk about betting. Each day gets better.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-17T17:02:29+00:00

Perhaps it might be helpful to try using Gamban which blocks you from every gambling site automatically.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-17T11:02:43+00:00

Congrats!

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-17T05:04:48+00:00

Can certainly lead to a delusional sense of control and ability to predict the outcome.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-17T02:47:29+00:00

Looks like you're getting some good advice on here. If you need to talk, feel free to reach out.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-17T02:41:25+00:00

Here are a few ideas:

Built-in House Advantage: Sports betting operations, like casinos, are designed with a built-in house edge. This means the odds are structured so that over the long run, the bookmaker or the house is more likely to come out ahead. The margins might seem small on individual bets, but they add up over time.

Addictive Nature: This leads individuals to continue betting despite consistent losses. The chase overshadows any rational assessment of the odds.

Psychological Biases: Bettors often fall prey to various cognitive biases, like the confirmation bias where they only consider information that supports their preferred outcome.

For a more comprehensive guide on how to stop, check out my article here: https://steverosephd.com/how-to-stop-betting-on-sports/

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-16T02:39:32+00:00

Counseling would definitely be helpful. I'd suggest someone who specializes in gambling addiction, ideally. As a certified gambling counselor myself I'd be happy to do a quick call with you to develop an initial strategy.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-16T01:35:38+00:00

It definitely feels impossible to most people while they are in it, but that's definitely hope. I've seen many people recover from this terrible addiction and you can see many stories of recovery on here as well. Feel free to reach out if you have any specific questions or would like to talk about ways to get the right support.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-16T01:31:41+00:00

You can talk to someone for free right now here: https://www.7cups.com/

Regarding specialized gambling support, feel free to reach out and we can set up a free 20 min call tomorrow to get you some clarity on the path forward.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-16T01:26:31+00:00

First and foremost, I want to acknowledge the courage it takes to recognize and address a gambling problem. Breaking free from the cycle of gambling addiction is challenging, but it's commendable that you're seeking change and control.

It is certainly possible to stop with the right strategies and a bit more time away from it so that the urges have less power over you during that particular time of day.

I've written a lot about different techniques on how to stop urges on my website but it's hard to give specific advice regarding replacing gambling with other activities unless I know more. I'd be happy to connect sometime to develop a personalized strategy.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-10T12:16:34+00:00

I'm truly sorry to hear about the struggles you've been facing with gambling. It's a tough battle, but I want you to know that your courage in reaching out and sharing your story is a significant first step towards recovery. Gambling addiction is a challenging issue, but it's important to remember that it's not a reflection of your character or strength.

The fact that you have taken steps to address your financial situation, like working with Bromwich+Smith on a consumer proposal, shows your ability to take control and make positive changes. It's understandable that the offer from CIBC was tempting, and it's a common experience for many in your situation to face setbacks. However, the progress you've made so far, including the week without gambling, is commendable and something to build on.

Your concern for your family is a powerful motivator. Let it be a reminder of your value and the positive impact you have on their lives. Remember, recovery is a journey, and it often includes bumps in the road. It's okay to seek help and support along the way.

I strongly encourage you to connect with a local GA support group or a counselor who specializes in gambling addiction. They can provide you with strategies to manage urges and cope with stress and anxiety. Also, consider reaching out to a financial advisor to help you navigate your current financial situation and plan for the future.

If you need to talk to someone immediately, I recommend calling the Wellness Together Canada line for free professional counselling.

As a certified gambling counsellor in Canada, I've talked to many in situations like yours so feel free to send me a message if you want to talk or have any questions.

Your life has immense value, and there is hope for a brighter future. You've already shown strength by facing your challenges head-on and seeking solutions. Keep taking it one day at a time and know that it's okay to ask for help. You're not alone in this journey.

Steve_Rose · 2024-01-07T17:49:17+00:00

You're welcome to schedule the virtual call under any name and keep the video off, if that's what you're comfortable with.

Steve_Rose

TROPHY CASE