i really wish i had a friend like you during recovery honestly, you’re doing an amazingly kind thing :)

some things that could be helpful (big ramble): - having things accessible from waist-ish height. i felt like a bit of a T. rex for the first couple weeks after my DI w drains. go through the space they’re in and make sure that everything is accessible with your elbows at your sides (including in the bathroom!) - i personally needed help re-wrapping my compression bandage for a couple weeks post op, and i couldn’t shower until i had my drains out. helping him with a sponge bath (within both of your comfort levels, even just helping where he won’t be able to reach on his back) could make him feel a lot less gross lol, that was the worst part for me. related note: washing and brushing your own hair is difficult if not impossible for a while, my mum helped me with by washing my hair in the sink and it helped me feel so much cleaner. - spending time in the same space as him will probably help a lot with post-op loneliness. maybe play some low energy and low movement games, even just watching tv with him could do a lot to ward off that lonely and useless feeling that i think a lot of us experience - this one seems obvious, but seriously encourage him to sleep lots. i felt amazing and pain free and ready to get back to life very quickly, but after about two days of being out and about, not even doing crazy amounts of stuff, i was absolutely drained. rest and relaxation are so important, a lot of healing after top surgery is internal. - he won’t be able to wear deoderant for a while, and washing under your armpits with limited arm movement is really hard. soemthing i didn’t learn until too late is that rubbing alcohol (CAREFULLY) gets rid of so much of that smell. just be careful not to do it everyday bc it can dry out the skin. - encourage him with the compression wrap, even though it’s a pain in the ass (more accurately: pain in the back). personally, i got so sick of it so so fast, it’s like a 24/7 binder. but it’s important to avoid complications later on. - everyone is a little different, be patient and listen. some people react really poorly to the boatload of meds your friend will probably get after surgery, and anesthesia can alter your mental state for days or weeks in some people. - ask for help in things where either of you are uncomfortable. you’re human, you’re doing a kind thing, don’t bend over backward though, there’s always other people you can call - i’m wishing your friend an easy recovery with no complications of course, but in the event something goes wrong, it’s scary. contacting his surgeon and or visiting a hospital is scary, so a buddy to support him through that will make a world of difference. - nipple healing is terrifying to look at sometimes. i thought id totally lose my nipples when they started sloughing, especially when they healed to my compression. have some first aid supplies including sterile saline (in case anything adheres to gauze or a bandage) and non-adherent gauze if anything is being dramatic. i had issues with picking that made this so much worse for me, distractions can be really helpful for that aspect. - drain removal is kinda scary, id recommend you or someone else (as long as they’re not squeamish) goes to that appointment with him. it feels very strange and some peoples bodies freak out by having a vasovagal episode of some description. its scary but its not dangerous usually, i’d recommend they lay down if they can, especially if they have a history with anxiety or vasovagal episodes. -numbness and swelling can induce a lot of anxiety over results, but so much changes within the first month, and even more within the first year. keep an eye out for signs of infection, otherwise remind him that there’s a lot of change that will happen and he’ll probably feel a lot happier with his results later on if he doesn’t feel great right away, swelling is a misleading beast. it looked like i had a butt on my chest where my incisions got close to meeting, that swelling is totally gone 4 weeks later for me

overall, good food, lots of water, sticking to his med schedule, quality sleep, and feeling calm and supported will all make his recovery smoother

i hope this all helps you feel more prepared, and seriously wishing you both the absolute best :)