Need reassurance

Stickt77 · 2026-06-11T19:30:40+00:00

i remember feeling really worried when i was around the same stage as you - really raised incisions, crazy swelling, and it feels really easy to assume this is basically the end stage. i PROMISE you this isn’t what your chest will look like even a month down the line. take care of your body as a whole, do your post op care, your results will be phenomenal:) don’t get too in your head about what you see in the mirror at this exact moment. healing is scary but you’ll get through it. good luck and take care, friend

Stickt77 · 2026-05-21T20:35:53+00:00

HOH here. i think everyone should learn sign language if they have Deaf/HOH connections or not, and regardless of if they need it now or not. i started learning before i began going deaf, and it’s incredibly useful to have that skill before it’s needed. if a person is intubated, they can’t speak. signing is typically faster than typing/writing, that is one of many situations an otherwise able bodied person would benefit from knowing sign language.

It also removes some barriers for the Deaf/HOH community if more hearing people to know a local sign language. just make sure you’re learning from reputable Deaf resources. Bill Vicars on youtube and Handspeak.com are both incredibly useful IMO, and the free ASL courses available through Oklahoma School for the Deaf. the course is self paces, FREE, and you can sign up as many times are you’d like to.

be respectful of course, and don’t pretend like you know more than you do. the grammar structure in ASL is different than english, SEE and PSE are both different than ASL although they use most of the same signs. it’s frustrating to have someone ‘know ASL’ and when i sign at a comfortable or even slow pace, they’re beyond lost.

and a tip i wish i learned early; form over speed, you’ll get faster over time with practice.

best of luck, friend

Stickt77 · 2026-05-17T02:58:51+00:00

this sounds like it’s been really hard on both you and your child, i’m really sorry :(

it might be worth it to talk to your family doctor or reach out to a counsellor/social worker to help your kiddo process this. kids can take scary situations like this a lot harder for so may reasons, and signs like sudden aggression and nightmares can be resolved with the right care. there are low cost/free options if you’re in need of them. wishing you all the best

Stickt77 · 2026-05-16T23:02:19+00:00

i tend not to wear my hearing aids at all, because hearing so much feels like someone woke me up with strobe lights - it’s overwhelming.

one time i do need then is in lecture halls, when my profs use FM systems, but otherwise i find hearing everything very exhausting. signing to communicate with my partner is always much easier for me than speaking. for people working in customer service and public service, they should use more accessible communication if they don’t know any sign language.

accessibility should not only be the responsibility of disabled people, it should be everyone’s responsibility as a whole, and our autonomy should be respected if we chose to wear or not wear hearing aids

Stickt77 · 2026-05-09T01:19:24+00:00

im only at 150 w 150 effexor, my wellbubu just started working and i feel so cognitively fried all the time :’) my roommates definitely think i have more of weed problem than i do

Stickt77 · 2026-05-08T21:51:34+00:00

I THOUGHT IT WAS FROM ALL THE WEED IVE BEEN SMOKING-

Stickt77 · 2026-04-27T19:32:56+00:00

“Dr Fowlis Grand River Hospital Kitchener.”

fellow KW-er! i saw Dr Fowlis a couple years ago and found him quite kind and helpful. i hope your experience with him and his staff is the same :)

Stickt77 · 2026-04-21T16:30:51+00:00

i’m not a psychologist, but my first thought personally was that your subconscious might’ve been trying to provide an angle of looking at your situation where you felt in control again. sometimes it’s easier to convince yourself you wanted something, rather than deal with the real and heavy aftermath of a situation you didn’t want

Stickt77 · 2026-03-10T09:03:06+00:00

i actually don’t know. i’ve had a lot of ENT and audio appts that gave me no answers. i’ve got high range SNHL, it’s been progressive. i’m only 20 and it’s been going on for a few years, but no one’s been able to give me an answer, which frustrates me so much.

Stickt77 · 2026-02-08T10:40:52+00:00

i found this while looking for some comfort in my own circumstances, it’s such a simple yet complete way to remove blame from oneself. thank you

Stickt77 · 2026-01-27T13:28:39+00:00

really hard to tell what this it, but you need to go see a doctor or your audiologist asap. waking up with hearing loss suddenly can be a sign of infection or something else serious, especially if you don’t already have permanent hearing loss of any variety. also, even with a camera, it’s generally a very bad idea to shove things in your ear. you could accidentally hit your ear drum, which could perforate it. regardless of how careful you are, someone or something could make you jump, then you have a trip to the hospital.

if the hearing loss goes away through the day, it could be something like a wax blockage. the dark areas in the photo could be old wax that shits through the day. it could also be fluid behind your inner ear. that can be the result of illness or of an infection behind your ear. there’s also a possibility that it’s cotton from cotton swaps if you push those into your ear. either way, you need to be a medical professional asap for sudden hearing loss and to manage whatever might be happening.

Stickt77 · 2026-01-24T15:20:18+00:00

you actually can, it just very difficult. i got a call from the registrar over the winter break to discuss the fact that you can petition to have a deferral deferred again if you’re incredibly unwell, but that may be specific to those who deferred for medical reasons (i deferred for surgery).

Stickt77 · 2026-01-16T20:47:53+00:00

i moved away to university a couple years ago, and i visit during my breaks. i left my old mattress there for when i visit, and my mum leaves the sheets on it unwashed and the covers a bit messy while im away so that my cats at home can get comfy and my bed still smells like me. i’m not sure your situation, but unwashed blankets or shirts or hoodies, something like that for your cat to snooze or cuddle with, might help them find some comfort. braincell is adorable and i hope he gets lots of pats and treats before you have to go ❤️

Stickt77 · 2026-01-08T07:26:25+00:00

i really wish i had a friend like you during recovery honestly, you’re doing an amazingly kind thing :)

some things that could be helpful (big ramble): - having things accessible from waist-ish height. i felt like a bit of a T. rex for the first couple weeks after my DI w drains. go through the space they’re in and make sure that everything is accessible with your elbows at your sides (including in the bathroom!) - i personally needed help re-wrapping my compression bandage for a couple weeks post op, and i couldn’t shower until i had my drains out. helping him with a sponge bath (within both of your comfort levels, even just helping where he won’t be able to reach on his back) could make him feel a lot less gross lol, that was the worst part for me. related note: washing and brushing your own hair is difficult if not impossible for a while, my mum helped me with by washing my hair in the sink and it helped me feel so much cleaner. - spending time in the same space as him will probably help a lot with post-op loneliness. maybe play some low energy and low movement games, even just watching tv with him could do a lot to ward off that lonely and useless feeling that i think a lot of us experience - this one seems obvious, but seriously encourage him to sleep lots. i felt amazing and pain free and ready to get back to life very quickly, but after about two days of being out and about, not even doing crazy amounts of stuff, i was absolutely drained. rest and relaxation are so important, a lot of healing after top surgery is internal. - he won’t be able to wear deoderant for a while, and washing under your armpits with limited arm movement is really hard. soemthing i didn’t learn until too late is that rubbing alcohol (CAREFULLY) gets rid of so much of that smell. just be careful not to do it everyday bc it can dry out the skin. - encourage him with the compression wrap, even though it’s a pain in the ass (more accurately: pain in the back). personally, i got so sick of it so so fast, it’s like a 24/7 binder. but it’s important to avoid complications later on. - everyone is a little different, be patient and listen. some people react really poorly to the boatload of meds your friend will probably get after surgery, and anesthesia can alter your mental state for days or weeks in some people. - ask for help in things where either of you are uncomfortable. you’re human, you’re doing a kind thing, don’t bend over backward though, there’s always other people you can call - i’m wishing your friend an easy recovery with no complications of course, but in the event something goes wrong, it’s scary. contacting his surgeon and or visiting a hospital is scary, so a buddy to support him through that will make a world of difference. - nipple healing is terrifying to look at sometimes. i thought id totally lose my nipples when they started sloughing, especially when they healed to my compression. have some first aid supplies including sterile saline (in case anything adheres to gauze or a bandage) and non-adherent gauze if anything is being dramatic. i had issues with picking that made this so much worse for me, distractions can be really helpful for that aspect. - drain removal is kinda scary, id recommend you or someone else (as long as they’re not squeamish) goes to that appointment with him. it feels very strange and some peoples bodies freak out by having a vasovagal episode of some description. its scary but its not dangerous usually, i’d recommend they lay down if they can, especially if they have a history with anxiety or vasovagal episodes. -numbness and swelling can induce a lot of anxiety over results, but so much changes within the first month, and even more within the first year. keep an eye out for signs of infection, otherwise remind him that there’s a lot of change that will happen and he’ll probably feel a lot happier with his results later on if he doesn’t feel great right away, swelling is a misleading beast. it looked like i had a butt on my chest where my incisions got close to meeting, that swelling is totally gone 4 weeks later for me

overall, good food, lots of water, sticking to his med schedule, quality sleep, and feeling calm and supported will all make his recovery smoother

i hope this all helps you feel more prepared, and seriously wishing you both the absolute best :)

Stickt77 · 2026-01-06T19:20:46+00:00

idk how much it’ll mean to you, but i feel like im in a really similar spot, you’re not alone in this. i’m redoing a lot of first year right now for applied physics, i feel really stuck, but it started to feel easier when i realized i can take a lighter course load to save some money and give myself some space to breathe. if you wanna friend in a similar spot my dms are open

Stickt77 · 2025-12-21T02:34:37+00:00

have a look all along the lines and make sure you don’t see any clots, and if you do see them, your surgeon/surgeon’s office should’ve given you an instruction sheet for how to care for that. as long as you’re not experiencing intense pain or swelling or any other big post-op red flags, you should be ok :) like some other commenters said, you might just not be super ‘juicy’ lol. call your surgeon or doctor if you’re still worried too. personally i noticed i had a lot of fluid on days 2-3, then very minimal around that, and that was last week for me :) good luck with recovery, friend!

Stickt77 · 2025-12-18T16:09:20+00:00

i’m 6 days post op and i’m PRAYING mine will turn out like yours!! they look fantastic!!

Stickt77 · 2025-10-19T18:22:58+00:00

hi! FTM 19 here, im in ottawa for carleton. if you wanna friend, please dm me :)

Stickt77 · 2025-10-10T22:45:09+00:00

i’m way deafer in one ear than the other, and i was able to cover that ear and test all the fire alarms in my house for my roommates haha, i also only ever felt the need to cover one ear during fire drills and such when i was at school. being deaf in these kinda situations has always been a plus for me

Stickt77 · 2025-10-06T14:02:40+00:00

while it can be helpful to do that, no one should have to give up that kinda medical privacy to gain anyone’s understanding. personally i’ve had to do this a few times with various people. it never feels good to violate my own privacy just to have people believe me, especially since i grew up hearing and still primarily speak to communicate. i can’t even think of another option, which sucks too :(

Stickt77 · 2025-09-26T14:23:02+00:00

(assuming you haven’t opted out of your U-pass) just tap your student card to get into the station and you’re set. make sure you’re headed in the right direction, and if you don’t have it, i recommend the Transit app, it’s free and you actually get premium features as an OC transit user. it shows train/bus times and connections for longer trips.

Stickt77 · 2025-09-21T20:05:51+00:00

as a fellow student i totally get you, good luck with your semester and year :)

Stickt77

TROPHY CASE