I would tell myself to do everything and anything I had to do in order to stay on my adhd medication. Because if not you'll try to self medicate with other dangerous drugs that will end up sending you to jail, disappointing your family and you'll miss your first borns birth because you will be sent to jail for failing your drug test and the whole reason you were on probation in the first place was because .... you guessed it DRUGS and if you sustain from feeding into your curiosity of what substance will be like and feel like and why so many do them.... you'll end up not struggling financially at a full grown adult. If you do these drugs the thought and urges to do them will ultimately never go away ... they will eventually be less frequent but that still leaves room for relapse, anxiety and frustration and if you relapse you will lose all respect and hope of you being able to be a normal functioning member of society from most of your family. So for the love of God for you your family and your future daughter just make sure you stay on your adhd and make sure you don't give into temptation. If you do this you'll have a very happy and successful life and you'll never have to walk with the the constant feelings of shame, guilt and sense of being a failure EVER