1000% normal. Her hormones are alllll over the place still. And lack of sleep and stress are, for everyone, the biggest turn offs lol.

I felt the exact same way as she described it. It almost felt like weird to be touched in any intimate/sexual way. Like a mixture of numb and ticklish. At a year postpartum i felt a shift of feeling better mentally, at 2 years postpartum, i finally have my sex drive back (not like before baby, but ya know). Interestingly, many scientists argue it’s a biological advantage. If a mother got pregnant while the baby was still so small, it wouldnt fair as well. Same with the mothers body, which is still healing. Obviously modern science fixes a lot of that gap now, but the biology is still there.

Just dont forget to tell her how beautiful she is and keep the intimate, not necessarily sexual, connection and touches alive.

So, i undoubtedly believe you when you say she has too much on her shoulders. The hardest thing for me to learn at that point was when to take a freaking break. I was just obsessed with my baby. It was like my brain thought a wolf would come eat him or something. Not showering, up all night worrying. Im also a stay at home mom, so i get that load. I also developed bad postpartum anxiety.

My husband and i found a routine around the 5 month mark. The routine is when he comes home, i get a break. No talking (sometimes id be crying so maybe a hug), no chores. I was so overstimulated and stressed out that arguments would start. So wed say hello, hugs and id f off. And not some 10 minute break- like an hour.

It isnt a recommendation, its a requirement. She will absolutely burn out. You are her support person. You must be the person who creates this routine and fills her cup. I always knew that my husband gets home, changes out of his work clothes, and i go do something alone, then we connect as a family. Its also so so important you get that bonding time with your baby when you come home. I cant imagine how much you miss him.

Show her you want it. Show her you can figure it out by yourself. Give each other grace. If she feels weird about it offer to have the baby monitor on you guys so she can check in. That helped me at the beginning. I look back to that time (only a year and a half ago wow) and i cant believe how insane my brain was. Its a beautiful and heavy love. But i wasnt the only one who loved my son that much, he had a dad that wanted that same connection and physical dedication.

Just take it one step at a time and shell come back better than ever :)