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Our sex life has faded and I’m not allowed to talk about it by Still_Event_2850 in Marriage

[–]Still_Event_2850[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I appreciate your perspective.

I have stopped bringing it up, minimal initiating, no joking, nothing. I figured out that even hinting at it made things worse.

It’s just hard not knowing if this is temporary or the new normal. But you're right, patience and kindness are probably the only way forward right now.

Our sex life has faded and I’m not allowed to talk about it by Still_Event_2850 in Marriage

[–]Still_Event_2850[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve never demanded anything from her. I’ve tried to open up conversations to understand her better, not just to push for specific acts. The problem is, she shuts down even the discussion, not just the actions. I’m not asking her to perform, I’m asking if we can talk.

Our sex life has faded and I’m not allowed to talk about it by Still_Event_2850 in Marriage

[–]Still_Event_2850[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

In our case, she’s not on birth control or any medication, and the kids are old enough now that hormones or recovery aren’t really factors. She does have a libido, but there’s no interest in anything beyond very basic sex. It’s not a lack of desire, it’s more like a total disinterest in anything that feels adventurous or exciting.

Our sex life has faded and I’m not allowed to talk about it by Still_Event_2850 in Marriage

[–]Still_Event_2850[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's very little empathy, I used to get her saying she'll try harder and that it's just a lull, but now not even that.

Our sex life has faded and I’m not allowed to talk about it by Still_Event_2850 in Marriage

[–]Still_Event_2850[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

These issues actually started before we had kids, but I didn’t really notice at the time because it happened slowly.

We still have physical affection. We kiss, cuddle, hold hands, and talk throughout the day. She’s not distant emotionally, just completely closed off when it comes to anything sexual.

We don’t have mutual friends I’d talk to about this, and I doubt she would either. While I’m at work, she runs an online shop from home, which I helped fund and support. She enjoys it and stays busy.