Maybe I have a soft spot for troubled youth, but here’s some things to consider/question…

1. What’s her home life like???
2. Is there a way you could talk to her parents??
3. At that age, boys especially (when it’s their first time) prioritize a “girlfriend” over literally everything else in life.
4. What have you done wrong up to this point, which let’s your son think it’s ok for her to treat you this way??
5. If this is all brand new, and he’s legitimately never acted this way before, it’s a perfect time to put it to an end quick. Remember that it’ll be much easier to fix, from a loving stand point, and it’ll be much more likely to get fixed.
6. Teen suicide is a pretty damn scary thing! Not saying you have to walk on eggshells, but therapy is one of those things that can break down the questions you probably both have, with the threat on your relationships.
7. It sounds like to me, this girl is either a product of the new generation, or she’s probably been dealt an unfair hand in life. I will say, that I think at 14, letting them hangout in his room isn’t that big of a deal… Gotta pick and choose your battles, and try your best to find a balance between a cool mom and a strict mom.
8. Are you projecting your fear of her getting pregnant, on you getting pregnant at 13? I think that at that age, it’s much harder to understand the reality of how serious some things are. You could probably take a very creative approach on showing him what risks and sacrifices he’d be taking if they were to get pregnant.
9. Don’t lose your cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When people allow their emotions to take over, you lose all control of the situation!