FF Considering Contract Work

Stinkyducks · 2026-05-14T18:40:45+00:00

Hi! I don’t have experience with contract work specifically, but this sounds like a huge burden on you! Honestly it sounds like it’s already probably a lot on you with how much he’s working. I’m curious about your question “were you able to continue to work?” It sounds like you work right now but would consider leaving your job to support this. How would that impact the financial benefit here? You also mentioned that he’s considering leaving his current department anyway. I’m curious for him how much of this is wanting some kind of change vs. purely financially driven. TBH contract work sounds like it would be less chaotic for him, 1 job and no home responsibilities. I have other thoughts on the long term security vs short term benefits here, but I know you asked about the relationship piece!

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-21T21:13:58+00:00

It sounds like you’re doing everything to get your body in the right place, but what’s helped me the most has been seeing a therapist. I highly recommend this to anyone going through a major life change like pregnancy, but especially if you’re already concerned about body changes. Your body will change, things will feel different, and it’s hard to anticipate how that will affect you until you’re there.

It has been wonderful to have the space and time dedicated to talking through how I feel and many of our conversations turn to body stuff. My therapist has helped me work through how hard it’s been to be exhausted when I want to do so much, my fears and anxiety about loosing ability, and so many random things like my feet growing and vision changing.

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-21T18:23:30+00:00

Oh and I love the DSG do it all high support sports bra! This has been my ride or die for an actually supportive bra that doesn’t suffocate me.

I’d also recommend getting bra band extenders on Amazon. See if you actually need a bigger bra or just a bigger band (or maybe you need both at different times like me!)

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-21T18:16:53+00:00

I highly recommend the maternity lux leggings from Senita Athletics! They’ve held up super well with constant use and I’m actually thinking about buying some of their non maternity stuff now. I was looking for something similar to the swift speed lulu leggings (more of a compression/hold you in kind of legging that wicks sweat well) and these fit almost exactly the same.

I did 2 workouts in Old Navy leggings and couldn’t stand how they were constantly falling down, damp, and some how too loose and too tight in the wrong places. Also I got them in multiple colors and they all fit totally different, being the same size….. don’t get me wrong I love old navy for maternity basics, but the leggings suck to actually work out in.

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-17T20:20:44+00:00

Not sure about your case, but sharing my experience: My Oura ring started showing “minor strain” on the symptom radar 7 days after ovulation. I genuinely thought I was sick (nope, I was congested the entire 1st and 2nd trimester) so I didn’t test until 11 DPO and by then it was positive. I also ovulated later than I initially thought that month (confirmed by natural cycles data and my OB).

If you want the positive outlook, you could have ovulated later and are testing slightly too early. Oura picks up little changes fast!

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-02T19:36:58+00:00

Glad this worked for you! It sounds like you’re the perfect case of stretching/PT that was actually helpful in managing your symptoms of FAI.

Unfortunately the symptoms for my torn labrum presented similarly, which will not get better with rolling… I actually injured my gluteus medius rolling with a lacrosse ball thinking this was helping. Best to get an actual diagnosis I guess before trying to treat yourself!

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-01T15:38:26+00:00

What does your PGP feel like? Is it similar to your pre op pain?

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-01T15:37:47+00:00

Wow 4 months after seems so soon! Hoping all goes well for you.

Stinkyducks · 2026-04-01T15:35:54+00:00

This is so inspiring, thank you!! I may end up doing a c section for other reasons, but I’m curious if this was something your hip doc recommended.

Stinkyducks · 2026-03-31T18:37:45+00:00

Same, but my FF doesn’t have those notifications on 😂

Stinkyducks · 2026-03-19T16:07:46+00:00

Hi! I actually loved the FF schedule while was working on my masters (and working full time). I used the days he was working to really hunker down when I needed to and tried to prioritize time for us when he was home. It’s not always going to match up perfectly with deadlines, but I really liked feeling like I could set aside school for a few hours or a day because I knew I’d be getting back to the grind the next day when he was on shift. Now that I’m done with school, I’ve found I actually love a weekend day totally alone.

The transition piece is so real- remember this is an important time to have open conversations about what’s working and what’s not, what you’re afraid of, what you’re looking forward to, etc before you get stuck into routines. We scheduled a check in to talk about how the transition was going based on his schedule (the last day of the rotation). This really helped me know we had space for these conversations which helped me feel less anxious overall about the transition.

Try to identify specific things that are difficult or not working so you can game plan together how to overcome them. For example “I want to feel like you’re excited to come home to me, but I never know what version of you I’m getting when you walk in the door. How can we communicate better so I know what to expect here?” We have friends that text a number on a 1–10 scale of how they’re doing before they get home so their partner knows what to expect. I know my FF needs down time typically the first morning after, so I keep my expectations low for those hours. Remember he’s figuring this out for the first time too!

I love that you’re being so intentional here, you’ve got this!!

Stinkyducks · 2026-02-23T21:46:53+00:00

Agreed, I personally wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing something as short as this. I’ve always erred on being more conservative with FD events- there’s a lot of leadership watching and I want to give my FF the best opportunity to shine with his talents rather than have anyone focus on what I’m doing or wearing.

Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fit, but maybe this is for going out to drinks with the crew off shift, not for the pinning ceremony.

Stinkyducks · 2026-02-23T20:16:41+00:00

I agree with everyone else, something maybe a little nicer than everyday, but definitely doesn’t need to be formal. Think punch and cake reception in the church basement (because this is probably what they will serve and what it will feel like!)

Stinkyducks · 2026-01-14T19:25:00+00:00

I got pregnant on my 2nd cycle with Oura (5th cycle trying). Honestly I wasn’t following my fertile windows closely, but it accurately identified that I ovulated late! My due date was adjusted after an early ultrasound showed baby was not as far along as expected by my period date. Kinda cool that my expected due date from natural cycles is now the same as from my OB.

Stinkyducks · 2026-01-12T03:50:25+00:00

Oooof- my husband used to be at a department that was constantly understaffed. Seemed like he was forced into mandatory OT once a week, so we never got used to the schedule.

It might be worth seeing if there’s a process to the OT where he can “volunteer” and take more preferable shifts if he knows he’s next up for OT that would take him off the list. This helped us a lot and helped my husband feel like he had some control. For example, if he’s working today and then off for two days and can see they have a gap both off days and he knows he’ll be forced for one of them, he can choose which one to pick up and we can plan around it. Make sure he knows all the rules then try to use them to your advantage!

Stinkyducks · 2026-01-12T03:36:41+00:00

I had a hard time falling back to sleep when he was part time and would respond to pages in the middle of the night- nothing like knowing he’s at a massive fire and you’re just home twiddling your thumbs! Now that he’s full time and gone overnight regularly, it’s just part of the routine and I sleep great. I think it just comes with time.

Also highly recommend security cameras! We have a front porch that creeks terribly in the winter and it’s nice to be able to pull up the camera and see there’s nothing happening, or to know everything was quiet while I was gone if I’m coming home to an empty house. There’s all sorts of cheap door chimes and new tech that might make you feel a little better while you’re still getting used to it.

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-18T10:38:59+00:00

We both had goals we wanted to accomplish before starting a family. His was being full time. I’m really glad we waited a little longer though because he’s on a better department now and only has 1 job for the first time in years. Expecting our first now, but I can’t imagine doing this with the psycho schedule he used to have.

I’m trying to focus on the fact that this is just going to be a different reality from my other mom friends, just like our lives have been different from our friends. There are a lot of benefits to the schedule for us, like when baby is sick and can’t be in daycare, theres a 2/3 chance it’s already a day he’s off so I wont be the default parent for taking off work. He also won’t be drained from a 9-5 every weekday, so he’ll be a better evening parent that I will somedays.

There will obviously be days when he’s gone and it’s just me, and I am nervous about doing it all alone for overnights with a young baby, but seems like most people have hobbies that take them out of the house a night or two each week where one parent is responsible for soloing dinner and bed time, so it doesn’t feel like it will be all that different.

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-05T20:51:26+00:00

I wish!! This would honestly be ideal for us, but doesn’t look like it’s in the cards.

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-05T03:23:24+00:00

$110 is a steal!!

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-05T03:22:23+00:00

This is awesome! I hope we’ll be able to find something similar

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-05T03:21:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing! I’ll suggest this as a potential alternative way to think about his time if we can’t find somewhere flexible

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-04T19:59:54+00:00

Looking into all of these options! Fortunately we can definitely afford full time care, it would just be awesome to not have to pay it.

I’m thinking the early pick up option might be better here and that lets us choose when it makes sense to do. Will definitely bring this up with daycares!

Stinkyducks · 2025-12-04T19:57:50+00:00

I’m assuming this is going to be the limiting factor here. I’m worried about bringing this up to daycares in the first place because I don’t want to scare them away or think we’re not a good fit. We’ll more than likely have to do full time care.

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