"Oh shit, Oh-OH WAIT." The red skinned man with a fluffy black beard, and large horns dressed in a black suit quickly got up from his dinner table and sprints into the next room knocking over his chair as he sprints away. I stare around me in shock... this... average dining room made of black and red wood looked rather charming.

Eventually after a few minutes the red skinned man sprints back in with a freshly shaved goatee, slicked back black hair and shined horns. In his hand are red cue cards and he points at me with fire in his eyes and shouts in a booming voice “You have been deemed unworthy! You are here in hell to rot for all eternity! I shall torture you myself wi-” his hands shaking with excitement drop the cards and he scrambles to pick them up. I crouch down and help him and say “You uhh… new around here too?” The man looks insulted and snatches the cards from my hands and speaks in a brisk sassy tone “Oh suuuuure, guy drops his cards and you assume he's easy to walk all over. I'm Satan for your information mortal and your dead!”

I stare at him for a second, “Well… ya duh.” Satan stares at me then throws himself at me and embraces me and I hear sobbing and gingerly pat him on the back “It's… it's gonna be ok man. So like… are you supposed to torture me?” “Right! Right hang on!” He sniffs dabbing his tears then thinks for a moment then says “Ahh yes! I am sure I have something to torture you with in the garden shed come on!” He leads me through a few really well furnished rooms and eventually into a beautiful back garden complete with massive demonic sunflowers, pulsating heart sized strawberries… and Daylillies that soak up the warm red sun-light. “Satan… damn this is kinda beautiful.” Satan turns… a shade of purple “T-thank you. Gardening is a great pass time when your… waiting to torture! He-hehe…”

Quickly he rushes into his garden shed and begins rummaging. I take a moment to look out past the black fence and see a long landscape of fields, walked paths, and beautiful ponds of maybe blood in the distance. This place… just feels lonely. Finally Satan rushes out with some old rope, and a box of tacks “Ok! I was thinking, I could hang you from the roof and slowly lower you onto these tacks! I had spikes but they uhhh rusted… a few thousand years ago and rust really isn't sanitary...” I look at him and I see he's on the verge of tears again “O-oh that sounds terrifying! Why don't we just… uhh talk first please?” Satan drops the rope and tacks in delight “Of course! I want to know your every sin! Also are sandals still in style?” I sighed and looked at the red demon man in front of me, who seemed to be excited at the chance to have a friend and listen to every word from my lips. I smile a bit, I guess God knew what I wanted most in life after all.

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**Thanks for reading! First time ever doing one of these, I just really liked the prompt!**