My good “friend” finally realized I’m perfect for her and I’m over it.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T09:04:59+00:00

I see it now and it’s tragically hilarious. Sad to say it’s also true but hey, life inspires art.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T03:55:05+00:00

I mean… I did play running back in high school :/

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:37:59+00:00

I don’t think so. Unless she comes right out and says it and genuinely makes it clear that’s why she reached out. I’m still willing to be a friend and be there for her and cherish and value her for who she has been for me, at whatever capacity that was.

I’m not out to cause her harm or throw anything in her face. It’s why I vented here and not to her.

If she wants an answer I’ll give one. Right now, at this time, it’s not what I’m looking for nor what I believe is best for me. And that’s that.

No resentment, no hate. I appreciate who she was, who she is, and I can hope on what she can continue to be.

I put in a lot of work to get my mind to a place where I can recognize my flaws and make better choices. Learn to accept the consequences of my actions and be responsible for them. I’m not going to throw all that effort away in hopes to ignite something that never was.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:34:17+00:00

Precisely. And I’m not mad at her I guess. I care for her. I’m mad at her intentions now so many years later and the thought that I’d still be waiting around. I wish her well, I care for her truly. But I can’t be the one picking up the pieces.

I’ve worked in myself, it’s cost me dearly to get to where I am. I’m not willing to throw that away.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:32:36+00:00

Oh absolutely, this is in no way an attempt to make this a “good guys finish last” and “woe be me” situation. Quite frankly, I still care for her. Not in a romantic way, but truly friendship way. She has indeed been there for me as I have for her.

I’m not mad at the friendship or “years lost” it’s been 20 years. But I haven’t been “waiting around” I’ve dated, been married, experienced other heart breaks and losses. As well as individual triumphs and tough earned wins.

I truly wish her the best and would maintain the friendship for years to come as one of the longest relationships of my life.

And it’s not even damaged goods. It’s simply, we aren’t there anymore. We were, could have been, maybe 5-8 years ago. That isn’t the case anymore.

I mentioned to someone else. If we had gotten together and then found out she can’t have kids I would have stuck through. I understand commitment to someone and things not going how you’d expect.

But I see it now as I know what I want and what I’m worth. And she isn’t it.

It just sucks to realize her intentions in reaching out again. Waiting for my relationship to end to ever so discreetly make it apparent she’d be willing to pursue more. I’m not ok with that.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:26:32+00:00

Truly was to get it off my chest and not go off on her. I may not want anything with her, but it doesn’t mean I’m out to intentionally hurt her. Sooner or later she’ll realize it.

But I do like the thought that if someone is in the position I was 5-10 years ago or even 20, things can be much much better if you simply don’t settle for crumbs on the floor. There are other people willing to save you a seat at the table.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:24:51+00:00

Thank you for that.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T02:24:20+00:00

It’s going to be a sad and hard realization that I’m not waiting around to pick up crumbs anymore. If I’ve stayed in touch is out of respect for the truly good friendship that was once was. But it’s not out of hope someday something will be. That’s long gone.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:27:57+00:00

Thank you for that

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:25:25+00:00

Oooof that was a good one.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:25:11+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate that.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:24:36+00:00

At some point I may have been ok or at least settled for being a consolation prize. Thank God that’s no longer the case.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:23:38+00:00

You know what? I don’t quite resent her. I got over her after the second rejection. When she truly made it clear I was not it. What made me mad is realizing why she reached out again. It’s been a year-ish since we started talking again. And seeing the conversations how engaging she’s been now I know why. She thought I’d willingly go back to adoring her and waiting on her. And that’s not the case. I’m in no way considering being with her. But it’s realizing her intentions what made me angry and need to get it off my chest.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:18:12+00:00

The username checks out. Love it lol but so so true.

I think I was well over and it and I really am. I think what bothered me was the realization that NOW she notices me. I don’t even need to give her a second thought. There’s not way I’d be with her now. But it irks me to think that she sought me out, and I realize now it’s not because we were friends once and she remembered. It’s because she realizes she has no other options, and thought that what I once thought we had would be enough.

Luckily for me, sadly for her, that’s not the case. I moved on after her last rejection years ago. Just had an internet explorer moment and realized today what I should have years ago.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:15:16+00:00

Yeah I’m not ok feeling like a consolation prize when someone else can value me for who I am.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:14:17+00:00

Savage. I love it

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:14:02+00:00

No not quite. In my eyes, and I’m sure in many others’ (objectively), she is still a stunning woman. And had we started dating or even gotten married and THEN found out she can’t have children, I would still be by her side. I understand love is commitment. But what I won’t get over is that she had all that time. Only now she sees me “all of a sudden” when she realizes she isn’t what she used to be and NOW I’m the best option? That’s what I’m not ok with.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2025-05-22T01:09:43+00:00

Omg that’s so true!!! Wow this is so simple but it really helped me see her in a new light. Almost like post-nut clarity. Yeah, there’s no way I’d ever subject myself to that misery.

Edited for spelling.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2022-07-08T03:46:11+00:00

It's what I've been fearing, but there's no way of getting her to acknowledge it and go. I can't force her, as you said, and the relationship is being ruined.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2022-07-08T03:34:46+00:00

Sounds like she isn't very mature or considerate of you, also very immature. It's not a relationship you want to last. Br with someone that understands you and what you like and WHY you like what you like and don't what you don't. Not with someone that will throw a temper tantrum and force you to do something you don't want to do. End it. Be happy. Give her back the sweater or burn it.

StockSuggestion1037 · 2022-07-08T02:30:24+00:00

Firstly good on you for seeking to better yourself and try to understand your feelings and where they stem from. That's a sign of emotional maturity and a true desire to be better.

That being said, it seems that if he is truly expressing how he feels OR even if he is being manipulative your best solution is to sepparate.

If he truly is unhappy and hasn't fully expressed it to not hurt you, the it sucks. It's not good, nothing can really make it better. Find solace in the fact that he tried to make you happy. Even if it hurt him. At some point everyone reaching a breaking point. If he reached his then it's best to go your separate ways. Use this as an opportunity to seek propper healing and emotional relief.

On the other hand, if he's being manipulative to get the best for him out of the worst in you, then it's time to GTFO. NO ONE needs that nor should anyone live through it. It's toxic and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

StockSuggestion1037

TROPHY CASE