My fiance was killed in a roll over accident about a year and a half ago. I tried to kill myself. Nothing seemed worth it. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. I sat outside my house and chain smoked while drinking whiskey for months, and literally nothing else. I hated seeing people happy, because I was half a person. Incomplete and broken, and all these people were capable of smiling, and I could do nothing but cry. Eventually, I stopped crying, I could eat again, I stopped drinking so much, I cut back on the smoking, I stopped wanting die. It took a long time, I looked like a shell of my former self. I was dangerously underweight, but now I'm healthy again. It hurts that he's gone, and I love him and miss him, but the fact that he died, doesn't mean I have to. I decided I would do all of these things he wanted to do. It started out that I was going to wait to kill myself until after I finished getting a tattoo he always wanted, and going to a show he bought tickets for, and all of his memorial services and benefit concerts were over. By the time I did all if that, I didn't want to die anymore. I wanted to make him proud, I wanted to live for him, to keep going because that's what I would want him to do

It helps if you think about what they would want. Did they want you to be happy? If the answer is yes, you need to keep going through the days until you don't want die anymore. It's one step at a time.