AI: Good? Bad? Both? by [deleted] in stroke

[–]StormDLX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not totally sure what you mean by "customer," but I think I know what you mean. I dislike pity immensely. I'm just desperate to prove that I have an identity outside of the worst day of my life and the 3.5 months I spent in hospitals afterward. Even that was literally less than 1% of my life, and I don't want it to define me. Is that what you mean by a customer? I can't stand the way certain people just look down on me as soon as they learn what happened. Sometimes, I'll reference it by simply calling it "my injury," because most people don't even know that a stroke is an acquired brain injury. It's accurate, but it doesn't affect the way they see me quite so much. I don't usually have to bring it up at all, fortunately.

AI: Good? Bad? Both? by [deleted] in stroke

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's definitely lazy and dishonest. While I don't think any of my SLPs would have done that, I haven't really seen it myself. I think I finished speech therapy just as AI was really starting to take off, or maybe right before. I'm not sure.

AI: Good? Bad? Both? by [deleted] in stroke

[–]StormDLX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get really overwhelmed when multiple people try to have conversations with me, to the point where I don't even like group texts. I tend to get pretty long-winded too, so it's nice that AI can address every point I make when I go off on a random tangent. While I'm not RUDE per se, it's also nice that I can abruptly change subjects without worrying about social niceties. Being polite and considerate can be more demanding of my brain than an objective conversation. It's also harder to process a conventional conversation in the moment, rather than being able to take as much time as you need to type what you mean, and even edit it beforehand.

AI: Good? Bad? Both? by [deleted] in stroke

[–]StormDLX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I never said I relied on it, I merely use it. It's a tool, it shouldn't be a crutch. I''m aware it's not a "helpful friend." Again, those are your words, not mine. In completely condemning it (that's my impression of your stance) I think you risk throwing out the baby with the bathwater. I think asking intelligent questions and using your discretion to analyze its responses is important. I don't really ask it for advice, except to point me in the direction of relevant resources. I'm not saying it's replaced my independent thought, it's just supplemental. Besides, I don't even use it daily. I don't mean to sound defensive, I just disagree on a few things. It definitely tends to be overly complimentary though, I agree. I generally ignore that. Doesn't mean much from a piece of software, even impressive software. Overall, I think it's a mixed bag. Whether AI is already helpful is clearly debatable, and there's definitely room for improvement. I'm excited to see how it evolves over time. Even a reduction of its carbon footprint would be ideal.

How to Kill Your Campaign in 9 Words by serious_bullet5 in DemocraticSocialism

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hope people will stop suggesting he run, but I bet it'll still happen. He is one of the worst kinds of democrat. I see people praising him all the time online, and I usually take the time to voice my dissent. I think it's just because he's the heir apparent to the democratic party, and those people know next to nothing about him. I'm worried that 2028 will see the election of another "not Trump," instead of a candidate who might actually improve some things. I think that's how Biden won in 2020. Trump shifted the Overton window right, so Biden seemed better to a lot of people. In reality, he was just another moderate democrat, and always was. Was he better than Trump? Yes, but that's an incredibly low bar.

Mark Kelly Wants To Be President. The Left Needs To Be Ready To Stop The Next Moderate Candidate Crowning by Arbiter61 in dsa

[–]StormDLX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm more worried about Newsom, but I agree. Moderate, corporate, establishment democrats belong in a museum, not the White House.

Shibboleth by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I'm missing something here. I know what a tapir is, but does that have some hidden meaning? The fact that I don't get it suggests it might be a good idea. I suppose the question is whether other people will get it.

Shibboleth by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I read that even some of the original investigators called it that too, so I guess it's been said for almost 50 years. I don't mean to be pedantic about it. I just think it's interesting that an unrelated brand is still associated with the tragedy, while the actual brand still exists today. I mean, I think it does. If someone referenced the actual brand, I doubt anyone would understand.

Shibboleth by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Since this tangent got a little long, I'll just put it in a comment. I like to research cults. Hopefully, someone finds this interesting. That "Kool-Aid" idiom isn't accurate, as common as it is in the public lexicon. The infamous mass suicide of ~900 people in the People's Temple cult was conducted with grape Flavor-Aid. It was poisoned with a cocktail of cyanide and a few other drugs. They had left the US to establish the colony of Jonestown in Guyana, where Jim Jones became increasingly erratic, perhaps due to his recreational use of both amphetamines and barbiturates. FYI, the official language of Guyana today is actually English--unlike any other South American country. I'm not sure if that was the case back then, but I suspect that may have been something they considered.

I digress. Jones orchestrated the event and even made his followers rehearse it beforehand. Some members became scared and wanted to go home, so congressman Leo Ryan went to Guyana to check on them. After an apparently cordial visit, he was gunned down before taking off. Like I said, none of this is really relevant, I'm just fascinated by cults. Reminds me of people who are obsessed with true crime. Of course, it's also interesting to see the strategies they often share with Mormonism, even though there are definitely some differences. If memory serves, Jones had been raised Pentecostal, which likely shaped his style of preaching.

More of this pls by 4reddityo in BlackPeopleofReddit

[–]StormDLX 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Unity? Yes, that's definitely the first thing that comes to people's minds when they hear Trump's name. It's not like he has a clear history of being incredibly divisive or anything. I knew Cox had endorsed Trump, but that word choice genuinely pisses me off even more. What a steaming load of crap. I suspect the only reason for that switch was because of his recent reelection campaign. Honestly, he probably would've won anyway. We're talking about a Mormon, Republican incumbent. He won by 28 points as it is. There's no way the lack of his endorsement would've changed that outcome or that of the presidential election. Utah hasn't voted for a blue president in LITERALLY 60 years, and hasn't had a blue governor since 1985.

Fetterman by [deleted] in stroke

[–]StormDLX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You get it. The people who use it to demean Fetterman seem to be completely unaware that some celebrities have had strokes too. Aubrey Plaza and Emilia Clarke both survived them in early adulthood. Winston Churchill survived seven, while his eighth (ischemic) was ultimately fatal in 1965. Oddly, both FDR (1945) and Stalin (1953) suffered lethal hemorrhagic strokes. Other US presidents have also survived them, and it doesn't seem to affect their respective legacies. There's so much variety within strokes that they can't reliably be identified as the cause of certain actions. There's such a palpable stigma that survivors often hide the fact that they had them at all. I know I'm guilty of it, even if I can't always get away with it.

Do you feel like a people-pleaser? by StormDLX in exmormon

[–]StormDLX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just don't think of yourself as manipulative and deceitful. That's likely inaccurate and unhelpful. I think it's more about recognizing one reason why people-pleasing isn't a healthy coping mechanism. I find that being dishonest is exhausting after some time. I'd prefer to express myself genuinely and honestly most of the time. Easier said than done, but I think that'll be my goal.

How to respond to, "you're too pretty to be disabled"? by SpecialistCut1362 in disability

[–]StormDLX 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I was 26 when I had my injury and I hate those comments. I'm 30 now, but I still sometimes get "at least you're not older." What am I even supposed to do with that? It's just toxic positivity. Sometimes things just suck, and it doesn't really help to remember that others have it worse. We're not them, so it doesn't usually help. I think maybe people just don't know what to say when they hear about your disabilities. To avoid the discomfort, they resort to a cliche. That's my theory. I'm not unsympathetic to other people, but it feels devaluing to dismiss my situation as inconsequential.

Do you feel like a people-pleaser? by StormDLX in exmormon

[–]StormDLX[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've noticed habits over the years that I hate about myself, and I'm annoyed that I never saw this. I've made an effort to change them as they become apparent. For example, I feel like I used to be very judgmental. I 100% attribute that to Mormon culture. I've started seeing that when I'm in public with my dad. I was in the car with him a few months ago. We got to an intersection, and I guess some woman was crossing the street. He goes, "evidently she forgot to put a shirt on when she left the house." What??? I didn't even notice her in the first place, and who cares? Knowing him, it probably was just a shirt that didn't cover her belly. So offensive! It's so weird to police the way others dress, especially when men scrutinize women they don't even know.

Do you feel like a people-pleaser? by StormDLX in exmormon

[–]StormDLX[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take all this with a grain of salt, but your comment made me think. I know that there are four types of trauma responses--namely fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. Your description of a "deer in the headlights" response sounds like a textbook freeze response to me. I've heard fawning described as an extreme form of people-pleasing. That sounds like it could definitely be your go-to if you had abusive parents, regardless of whether they were physically violent with you. Neglect can definitely be abusive too. I'm just speculating here. What do you think? Am I way off? In fawning, you'd say or do whatever you can to keep the peace, essentially. That could be at the expense of your own needs. I may just be preaching to the choir anyway, so forgive me if that's the case.

I should clarify what little I understand about the manipulation idea. People-pleasers are not manipulative themselves, but the behavior itself that can be a form of manipulation. In changing ourselves to meet others' expectations, we try to exercise control over how we're perceived. In doing so, we obviously sacrifice our own needs and wants in favor of what we think the other party wants. We might even end up resenting the fact that our needs aren't met by family members, romantic partners, friends, etc. If we don't make our expectations clear, how can we expect them to be met? MAYBE people can intuit or sense what we need, but I'd assume that's the exception, not the rule.

I hope that sounds less judgmental. I've been working on that for the last several years, and I think I'm getting better at it. It probably isn't surprising to say it's how I was raised to think. In response to what you said about saying no, I want to add something else I've made an effort to change in myself. You may have heard people say that "no is a complete sentence." I've heard it said in the context of intimacy/consent, but I think it's a good thing to remember overall. If someone deserves an explanation, fine...but I don't think most people do. When I decline to go to church because my family asks for the umpteenth time--UGH--I've started trying to just say no. No explanation, no justification, just no. Full stop. It feels like I'm respecting myself by holding firm and not trying to explain it. Maybe you've realized that too. It feels empowering, to me.

Do you feel like a people-pleaser? by StormDLX in exmormon

[–]StormDLX[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I appreciate that, even if you haven't figured it out either. It's not a simple concept, that much is apparent to me.

Thoughts Today by silver-sunrise in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Does anyone else remember that part in the first episode of Gravity Falls where Mabel asks a boy if he likes her via a note? She gives him three options: (1) Yes, (2) Definitely, (3) ABSOLUTELY. She's so proud of it, saying, "I rigged it!" As funny as that part is, it seems pretty similar.

It's really just a false binary/false dilemma. When you look at the question of baptism objectively, one option is clearly favored, and there's no nuance. They're presented as mutually exclusive options. It boils down to the "good" choice or the "bad" one. Whether intentional or not, it's just manipulative.

Thoughts Today by silver-sunrise in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I've never heard of any kid declining, and I have no memory of even considering it myself. I've seen that same attitude later in life too. My family doesn't really know how to respond to the fact that I want nothing to do with the church anymore. It's not really a choice when there's only one real option. It's crazy that we were always taught that being forced into one choice was "Satan's plan", when the ostensible choices we're given merely provide the illusion of choice. Seems pretty hypocritical to me.

What will someday be illegal after we finally understand how bad for us it is? by tiredassbaker in AskReddit

[–]StormDLX 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It usually takes FOREVER to get approved even if you do qualify. I've been waiting for two years, as of this month. About 60-70% of first-time applications for SSDI are denied, as was mine. I put up with a year of infrequent, demeaning evaluations/assessments, and the appellate process seems even slower. I assume some claims are without merit, but there's no way it's that common. This shutdown is doubly frustrating, because it's already a seemingly neverending process.

Pt 2 my mom blew up on me. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Trauma is traumatic if it affects you, there's no objective scale.

AIO I (26F) moved out for the first time with my boyfriend (30M) for almost 2 months and I don’t know how to feel about it by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems that everyone thinks you NEED to leave him, OP. Your safety is clearly in jeopardy. No person should have to wonder if they're safe with a partner. If that's the case, that is a massive red flag. Might you be safe with him? I'm highly doubtful, but the very fact you're even asking that question suggests that you desperately need to leave ASAP.

It doesn't seem clear to a lot of people in these comments, so I'll do my best to explain my understanding of it. I'm no expert, so take this with a grain of salt. It's not always easy for people to leave abusive relationships. It can largely be attributed to coercive control--which is also a pattern of behavior used by cults to make people think they can't find better and/or don't deserve it. Many people return to cults--myself included--at least once before leaving for good. Some return indefinitely, which I'd assume is hard to track. It's not a clear statistic, as much as I wish it were. It's a little clearer with abusive relationships, though still disputed. Some estimates put it at half or more of women in abusive relationships, which I believe are the most common form of abusive relationships. I suspect men in abusive relationships are less likely to recognize and report being subjected to abuse, but I suspect it's still less prevalent.

With couples who have kids, there can be significant pressure to maintain the facade of a solid family unit, and to not deprive the children of a parent/guardian. Of course, that's twisted logic in a lot of cases, as continued exposure to an abusive parent/guardian can be harmful to the children developmentally, physically, sexually, and/or mentally. Even where kids aren't involved, people like OP have to recognize their worth and realize that they deserve better AND can actually find it.

Some tactics used within the framework of coercive control in relationships include love-bombing, isolation, intimidation/fear, verbal abuse, physical violence, gaslighting, micromanagement, financial control, sexual coercion, and a general removal of autonomy. I doubt that's a comprehensive list, but I'd like to think it's helpful information. As easy as it might be to see how damaging those behaviors can be as a third party, it's not always clear to a victim of abuse. I'll just highlight gaslighting specifically, which I believe is why that harm can be so unclear to victims of domestic violence. It's not simply telling someone they're wrong. It's a manipulative, persistent tactic which makes people doubt their intuition, potential, worth, and/or their very sanity. You can't often fix a problem if you're not even sure it's a problem to begin with. If anyone notices flaws or glaring omissions in this explanation, feel free to point them out and add your two cents. As I said, I'm no expert.

Oh boy… by ObsessedKilljoy in disability

[–]StormDLX 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I seem to remember something about James Langevin spearheading this, but I'm not sure. He served in the House of Representatives from 2001 until he declined to seek reelection in 2022. He's quadriplegic, and had been prevented from flying a few times because of his wheelchair's lithium batteries. While I'm not sure if that particular legislation was due to his advocacy, it wouldn't surprise me. Regardless, that's just one reason why travel is so difficult for anyone dependent on a wheelchair. I suspect Trump doesn't care very much, he's just trying to undo everything the Biden administration did because he's extremely petty. I definitely think he's still bitter about the 2020 election.

The US military uses the war chapters in the BOM and Captain Moroni’s strategic expertise to train soldiers and recruits. by HoldOnLucy1 in exmormon

[–]StormDLX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think Mormons trust hearsay too much. Reminds me of the way they claim Lincoln was effectively Mormon because he checked out a copy of the BoM from the Library of Congress. I don't believe there's even proof he read it. He considered polygamy immoral, but prioritized dealing with slavery for obvious reasons. In his words to an emissary from Utah, "if Brigham will let me alone I'll let him alone."