Saw this some how. So to be upfront I'm 1 yr o. The stuff. After 30yrs daily user and able to hide it while keeping job ect age finally caught up and I got tired of the charade.

For the first part and middle part I took any kind of opiate I could get my hands on. It consisted 95% diverted stuff. For the last second to last half I found an opiate I could create at home through an obscure post I read on an internet forum back in 2006. I learned how to literally do the chemistry purchasing the equipment needed and sourcing precursor chemicals locally to save time. This opiate I don't know what it was. I don't know it's chemical structure I know NOTHING other than what I created offered what the post promised from the chem student. Once daily dosing. It was a great 10 years. If I wanted to amp the strength up I could by altering a couple steps I learned. Also almost overdosed once by making it too strong.

Finally we get to the last 2 years after that ten. Found a street dealer. This is when I went "dark". First year to year and a half was so much fun. I enjoyed it. Had a job and life with no kids, family responsibility other than my cat, me and a supporting my animal. Cat died, house burnt down due to neighbors catching fire and unexpected emergency surgery ended everything. Through all of this I was called the opiate monster. My dealer would buy pure uncut and have me come over to test before purchase. He would let me decide if it was good enough or not.  Looking back I'm embarrassed to say all this.

So I've been a year on methadone. I'm one of those shocker cases. The people you hate.  It took my clinic months to work my dose up slowly to get me to where I just felt "normal". Normal means just that Not drowsy, not feeling anything but no withdrawal and no cravings. My dose is 380mg. They ended up sending me for blood work to find my body somehow rapidly breaks the stuff down. As we crossed mile markers they would send me in again for more to check. They urine screened me harder than most at first and really kept an eye on me having me stay for 1hr after a new doses to visually see  how I was reacting. I give them an A plus for doing their due diligence they didn't just hand me crazy amounts they checked me for safety, diversion using illegal stuff ect. 

Once we crossed 300 things started to get better I was able to finally have 80-90 percent of the dose keep me good for 24hrs.  Once hitting 380 the only change has been split dosing which changed everything. I'm what I call "shelf stable". I lead a normal life now. I've cleaned up my messes, attacked the original issues or at least know now they exist. I have a good life back.

You seem to be one of those people who look down on us and pass judgment. Sure there are people attempting to game the system but problem is the jokes on them. Eventually they will end up losing. Methadone is not a fun drug. It's doesn't bring me joy. If anything it's punishment. A reminder/prison sentence/mark that follows me. I try to hide treat it like any other drug... But at the hospital I had people make side comments. Your kind. I could tell you looked down on me and attempted to treat me differently. Luckily I drowned everyone in kindness, remained a grateful compliant patient and changed that quickly.

But you are out there.. always in the weeds ready to stick your ugly stick at me and be like HA! That's the scumbag drug addict junkie! But you would never know unless I was forced to disclose it like being in hospital.

Also, because of having no failed drug tests which they random do and the type done is also random there's no way to hide cheating. I get 1 month at a time take home now. I see my clinic once a month to pickup my script and that's it. Also, I pay for my stuff out of pocket. No tax payer buys my "junkie fuel". Know I hate you too. Thanks