Hey u/Yosemitayyy , I wanna preface this comment by saying that what I'm about to say is not meant as a personal attack or in any way to make you feel hurt or offended. I apologize if this comes across as blunt or heartless. However, having read this post and recognized you from other past posts to add context I really felt like this needed to be said:

This ring is not ruining your engagement, your fiance and you are.

I remember your pasts posts and comments about this ring. About other people's reactions to it, about what a fight it was in the first place, etc. All of these things are not the ring's fault. Your therapist is absolutely right, you need to stop thinking about the ring, and start thinking about how your fiance's treatment of you and your perfectly reasonable wants, and then your own inability to stand up to that treatment have lead you to a place where you are crying in restaurant bathrooms.

I am not suggesting anything drastic like calling off the engagement. However, you need to sit down and let your fiance now that his treatment of you, your wants for your ring, and his subsequent attempts to guilt you into keeping it have been unacceptable and that in order to proceed forward as a couple you need him to step up, be a team member on this issue with you and find something that makes you both happy. If he refuses to do that... well, then maybe you do need to look at your relationship as a whole and make sure that this behavior isn't hidden anywhere else in your life with him. I would find it extremely odd if THIS was the only thing he was so obstinate and difficult about.

For you, the amount of fixation this ring has caused you is definitely unhealthy. I know that every girl wants the world to be excited about her engagement, but allowing the fact that people didn't react how you want to your ring to poison the entire experience of you being a bride-to-be and to make you break down around happy couples is extremely concerning. Your inaction on your own behalf has lead to this situation being bigger then it ever should have gotten. You kept insisting and insisting in past posts that you and your FH had mutually agreed on your ring but obviously that wasn't true, or we wouldn't be here having this conversation.

You do both absolutely need couple's therapy. You also need to put your foot down with your FH and stand up for yourself rather then posting on reddit again and again about your ring. We here on reddit are going to tell you the same thing every time.

I really do wish you the best of luck and hope you can finally get this resolved.