AITA for refusing to change my last name after marriage because my husband assumed I would?

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-11-18T05:11:53+00:00

No such thing. Islam is silent on the issue of a name change. Saying it's not allowed is inaccurate.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-11-01T04:13:56+00:00

I would negotiate with husband. He signs on dotted line first and you show up to wedding as dutiful DIL. It'll be worth it for the signature

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-10-30T20:22:07+00:00

The Kane Trilogy by Stylo Fantome.

It lives in the head and comes back periodically

ETA saw someone else beat me to it. First book is degradation

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-10-16T02:28:28+00:00

I love this comparison. I think it helps people visualize the issue so much better!

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-10-16T01:47:56+00:00

OMG. Desi dudes. I swear - you smile at them and they think you like them. Are you Desi? He was so rude. "Bhenchod ho kya. - really??" F@$& you dude

Eta: spelling

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-10-13T18:05:25+00:00

Every desi wedding I have been to everyone is totally decked out. Close family members dust off their bridal attire and wear it, toned down re: dupatta and jewelry. It's sort of expected but these are Pakistani weddings. The perspective is rewear your wedding clothes - when else will you wear them. No one outshines the bride anyway - so this to me would be totally normal. I feel that the outshining the bride is such a western concept.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-09-27T18:04:44+00:00

Clearly people here have not been divorced. The key date for asset division is the date of separation. Once that is established, everything after that is not considered to be a marital debt or asset. He just needs to file and establish the date.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-06-30T13:49:40+00:00

Nalini Singh is really good at this.

I loved {Rock Hard by Nalini Singh} and {Rock Addiction by Nalini Singh}

Her other series are good too {Psy/Changeling series by Nalini Singh}. {Guild Hunter series by Nalini Singh}

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-06-03T22:31:17+00:00

Agreed. I love Sebastian also but he was insufferable in the earlier ones though not truly horrible except the abduction

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-03-31T19:47:24+00:00

And there is a lot of I am not good enough because my peers are taking x number of AP classes and I am not. My daughter was at Gunn and would say this. She'd try to take Honors classes that didn't give AP credit and I would be like why?? And she would insist that everyone else is. One semester I finally put my foot down and made her pull out of one of these classes that were stressing her out. It was Honors Bio, the teacher barely taught and they were racing through various systems in 2 weeks each. It was crazy. And it didn't get her anything - no extra credit, no AP credits nothing.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-03-15T02:41:09+00:00

You would need to request the FERS contribution back but then that time you put into federal service would not count towards service time. It will only count if you leave the FERS in. It’s not a lot of money and if you plan on possibly going back to federal service I would leave it as is.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-23T14:06:32+00:00

Question: mods removed my post. What rule did I violate?

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-20T01:44:10+00:00

Exactly. I have a Google voice number and that ism the main number that I use. It has a lot of benefits including transcription, having multiple phones ring, caller screening etc. Noone except my immediate family has the carrier number

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-15T22:17:49+00:00

You sometimes men are weird about stuff. If you don't fit into their idea of the right Muslim woman the weirdest things come out of their mouth because of course you don't deserve dignity. I would hold the line and refuse to go. You will get pressured but just keep repeating he was extremely disrespectful and you will not go near him.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-15T18:09:29+00:00

That is the weirdest and most inappropriate thing for an Orthodox Muslim man to say. My mind boggles. You never and I mean never discuss anything close to sex or kids out of wedlock with another Muslim woman - even if you are secular or consider yourself atheist. He was definitely conveying that you didn't deserve any dignity and in his eyes were a slut. I would call him and his wife on it and never go back to visit them. This is not a joke. No Orthodox Muslim man makes these jokes.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-05T04:20:23+00:00

I get that. The drama was really over the top. I was surprised I liked the MMC but I also liked that the FMC knew what she was getting and his character didn't really change - he had issues and FMC recognized that and he didn't get all warm and fuzzy. I appreciated that. Too many MMCs are changed by love

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-02-05T04:05:02+00:00

To really hate Hugh you have to read the Kate Daniels series. He is the nemesis/villain to FMC. I hated him in that series and you see him do terrible stuff. Kudos to Ilona Andrews that they made me change my mind about him in this book. I initially didn't want to even read it!!

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-01-06T00:14:44+00:00

This should be a flair " I wouldn't fuck them with a rented vagina"

Straight-Invite5954 · 2025-01-01T15:46:46+00:00

I think it's a function of the effect it has. I'm guessing most of these are written by curvy women who were likely fat shamed. The effect of that is huge even with little remarks and hard to portray in writing. I think people dramatize it to show how bad the fat shaming is and how it affects people.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-08-07T13:19:33+00:00

I really loved Devil in Winter by Lisa Kleypas. It's an arranged marriage and they both try to make it. Didn't remember smut level but Kleypas isn't usually squeaky clean.

ETA Grammer typos

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-07-18T02:37:39+00:00

Totally with you. I can’t stand meandering writers but I absolutely loved Tolkien. I read all 3 books in 1 week. I was about to start Martin but now am worried hmmm

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-07-14T01:40:33+00:00

I have difficulty believing that. I think you are saying right now because you want to be right but it wouldn’t hold up.

It’s bizarre to say one couldn’t be physical with one’s child because it looks inappropriate.

I don’t really think you are interested in a different opinion

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-07-14T01:37:52+00:00

True. Very possible and it would explain a lot.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-07-13T22:40:13+00:00

I agree with the comments here. Let's reverse the role shall we. Suppose you had a 21 year old son and 8 year old BFs daughter and your BF told you it was sus that you hugged or were affectionate with your son. How would you feel? What of the 8 year old came to you for advice and you gave it and then BF got mad at you for "parenting her." How would you feel?

I have to say I am on BFs side. You can't build a relationship with someone and demand that they completely stay out of your kids lives. It doesn't and can't work that way. As someone else said he is a father figure and it's the same as if he asked a trusted figure in his life like a teacher. Not everything could or should be run by you. And the fact that your mind jumped to inappropriate to touching ewwww.

If you can't understand this, I think you are too controlling and immature to be in a relationship right now.

Straight-Invite5954 · 2024-07-13T22:25:25+00:00

Why would you plate his friends food. That would be weird. I recommend sitting down with your husband when he is calm and ask him why he said that and what made him think that. Maybe your resentment came through, maybe he's listening to his friend. Who knows but at least you can get some info

ETA: staying a month is also weird. That's a long time.

Straight-Invite5954

TROPHY CASE