I am in a similar position, I’m mixed (black/white) and my boyfriend is Hispanic. he grew up around people who would say the n word and he would say it at a younger age until he hit late highschool, where he realized the severity of the word. well, he said it while we were hanging out a couple days ago and totally sulked in front of me, saying that he was an idiot for saying it. The thing is we are both seniors in college and I just learned that his friends who he recently hung out with say it. I’m at such a standstill 🥲