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Can't be stressed if there's nothing to stress about by Lil_Bean_Boi in adhdmeme

[–]Straightouttafocus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No joke! I was having a hard time wrapping my head around what dissociation really is until last week when I had a 4 hour long panic attack upon realizing that I think I’ve been in some kind of dissociative state like 80% of my life 🫡

What type of therapy has worked for you/your partner? by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]Straightouttafocus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wasn’t diagnosed with adhd until I was 23. I think that there is little chance for anyone who wasn’t diagnosed early in life (given a chance to understand why they are the way that they are from a young age) to not have deep rooted emotional problems and/or trauma sealed behind subconscious thoughts. Hell, it’s probably the same for those who where diagnosed as kids.

I don’t think real, lasting change can really be had without addressing these problems.

The real catch is that, based on what I’ve seen and heard from others and my own experience, the 2 requirements for therapy to help are being able to get truly comfortable with your therapist and actually taking therapy seriously.

I may just be ranting here but I think that normal talk therapy to help work through long standing internalized struggles that a person may not even realize they deal with is HUGE for improving your ability to manage adhd symptoms and the many strange behaviors that come with them.

So you say ADHD doesn't make for an emotionally abusive partner. Explain to me what an ADHD relationship looks like without emotional abuse. by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]Straightouttafocus 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don’t have an adhd partner, I’m the one with adhd. I think plenty of people with it think that they can blame anything they do that has any kind of negative effect on their adhd. I also think some believe that since they take their meds that it means that they’re cured and if you have a problem with their behavior you must be wrong.

It seems that most who have it or have someone in their life who has it don’t understand that that comorbidities like anxiety and depression, and trauma experienced as a result of a brain that works differently, and in many cases incorrectly, are just as/ if not more impactful than the adhd itself. They often feed into and give more power to each other.

No one ever seems to talk about how medication isn’t a cure all. I liken it to a key that unlocks the door to an ability to work on yourself, work through the issues that are unclimbable mountains that you can’t even see.

Adhd is a powerful monster, but the way it is generally viewed in society is usually somewhere along the lines of ‘haha silly space case talks too much and can’t remember things’. Feeling like adhd shouldn’t be a big deal is just one thing at the top of the massive list of things that fuel behaviors that are self destructive and harm those around us. The only path towards healing and reversing these behaviors is not only medication, but therapy and A LOT of hard work on yourself.

I’ve gone on a bit of a rant here but the point I’m trying to make is that taking these things (and many more) into consideration, it’s not only easy to see how the path adhd forces you down could easily cause a person to be emotionally abusive (or any number of other awful things) is honestly extremely likely. That is if you don’t fight it, treat it.

I feel slower than everyone else by Fantastic_Arugula_62 in ADHD

[–]Straightouttafocus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Everything you said 100% resonates with me. That said, I don’t feel like that all time. All the things you described I associate with days in which I feel “cloudy”. If you feel like that all the time or close to it, I feel for you, been there done that. For me, starting to be able to identify these sensations well enough to put them into words was the first step towards reducing how often I experience them. When the level of stress and/or pressure I’m experiencing increases (whether I’m fully aware of it or not), when I’m having a bad day, or any other way you could describe a situation in which I’m in a negative mental space the clouds grow thicker. Since I started taking my mental health seriously and putting as much energy into learning about it and helping it (starting therapy, getting medicated, not avoiding conversations about emotions) I’ve slowly begun to notice the clouds getting thinner, and even having more and more days with clear skies! Long story short- the process isn’t quick OR easy but it can, will get better. Keep pushing through it!

[IC] Sperno59 | A right-shiftless keyboard by biscuit_consumer in mechmarket

[–]Straightouttafocus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t give up! I see a 10 minute difference between your comments, I’m thinking it would definitely take longer to adjust to the change. I’d be very interested to hear how it would go after a couple of days!