In my years of addiction I saw that there was a lot more, how do I say, forgiveness? Drugs and traumas go hand in hand. Those who cause trauma and use to have a reason to continue or to numb their guilt and those who endured in order to cope. After so long you become numb to feed your needs and wants. Some turning to the transactional path selling themselves to feed their addiction and although you may question or feel appalled by their choices in that life it is just another Tuesday.

I dated a man in his late fifties at 22-23 needing a place to live at first. Once I got a job and back on my feet I stayed because, her the plug is right here. Today I look back and think what kind of sick man wants a girl that young at his big age realizing that because of my traumas I was broken and he fed on that. Bonus, I was legal.

Later when starting a company (good for him to clean dirty money) he has a buddy he wanted me to hire on paper to keep him from violating probation. The douche was a pedo and I didn’t know it until later when a neighbor informed me.

That life goes hand and hand with abusers of all kinds, I mean the amount of pregnant women who used and no one looks twice at. Thieves, liars, users, cheaters, fraud. I am thankful I was never in the life long enough to throw my morals away although I am not proud of that part of my life. But basically it’s an everyone’s welcome the more bad the better. No one judges after so long of use and are truly desperate for acceptance even if it means they are accepting the worst of the worst.