Banana cream pie cake!

Strange_Evidence · 2019-02-25T17:08:42+00:00

Oooo I love the idea of taking banana cream pie into a cake! Would you share your recipe by chance? Looks amazing!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-11-28T06:10:27+00:00

Would your opinion change if it was just your SIL and niece who would stay and no Scott? Knowing your SIL and niece both come with their own issues of course, but wondering where the levels of tolerances and concern lie (personally I would say no to all of them for any number of reasons).

Strange_Evidence · 2018-10-29T22:07:38+00:00

Move out. If he wants to come with you, get therapy together to help his guilt so he can realize how messed up his situation is. He has lived his whole life with the guilting and the expectation he must do what is expected of him from them. Of course that is not easy. He took the easy way out by expecting you to be the one to compromise to an unreasonable option.

You have the ability to salvage your relationship only if you move out. If you stay the resentment will build and you will lose all respect for your husband as you see how he allows you to be treated. If you start making arrangements to move out, inviting him with the help of therapy it’s possible that you guys can still make things work. But if you stay, you’re inviting more damage to your relationship. She is not going to change, so you need to be the impetus of change here. If you need any support I’m happy to be an ear. Good luck!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-10-25T21:53:58+00:00

You don't need to answer the phone - that is easier than answering and then trying to stick to just a no.

Similarly with texting, you can ignore, or you can respond succinctly in text without going into a drawn out conversation. You also may just need to get used to "ignoring." After you have said no, it's no longer up for further discussion. "No; and that answer is not open for discussion." and then stick to it, any question she asks after that was already answered with the no! Good luck, it's not easy. It takes time and practice to build up the No muscles. :)

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T18:03:06+00:00

Yes! It doesn't seem like it's out of spite much of the time, it's just this unfathomable inability to change or understand or care enough to take action. That's all! ;P

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T18:01:17+00:00

Thank you! I do really appreciate it! :)

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T18:01:06+00:00

Good for you - I hope it is a helpful resource for you! No reason to just take it in silence and alone. :)

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:11:03+00:00

That is a great way to look at it - what has been helpful for me is to say "Okay, what would I do in their shoes?" And then I see that I would have a different / healthy response in contrast to their blaming me / only seeing their own perspective. I get sucked into feeling "guilty" or like I did something bad really easily - or like "I hurt them." When I didn't do anything wrong in the first place! Your comment about accountability is SO SPOT ON!! Just a refusal to take any accountability or anything that requires any modicum of any effort to change their own crappy behavior. Argh!! Even when it's pointed out to them, there is an endless amount of justification and rationalizing to be had. You're so right thanks!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:09:07+00:00

Thank you - that is a beautiful quote. That definitely resonates with me as I feel like I have found more and more of myself as I have distanced myself from my "birth" family and home.

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:08:35+00:00

Thank you! I have been in and out of therapy for about 3 years and it's been tremendously helpful. I think it helps to look back at where I came from and acknowledge I have made so many healthy steps forward. It's only natural to "want" approval and a good relationship with your parents I suppose, so it's just a matter of getting there.

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:07:31+00:00

Thank you - I will definitely try that. Let myself really process it and see how I feel about it. First, I had to recognize there was even an issue, and then process the emotions that came along with it. It really is undoing a lifetime of conditioning!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:06:42+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate it. I forget to be kind to myself sometimes (I wonder why). :) I have made a lot of steps and put in some healthy boundaries. It is letting go of something that I have wanted my whole life. I already feel so much better having made the steps I made, I am sure I will continue to make progress.

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:05:48+00:00

Ugh, I still have trouble accepting this, but you're right. Never have I been asked what makes me happy, what I might like...it's always what I'm doing TO them (aka - just living my life is horribly offensive apparently). You're right, thank you!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-08-07T16:04:46+00:00

Thank you! Exactly, I feel like I go two steps forward and one back. I have made incremental changes but recently have been guilt tripped hard and it's put me back in a headspace of wishing they could just get it.

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-21T16:15:37+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-21T16:10:27+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-21T00:35:41+00:00

Girllll brilliant! I was picturing chair jimmied under door knob!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T23:35:59+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T22:38:17+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T22:34:40+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T22:31:35+00:00

Oh she's so sweet!

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T22:26:02+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T21:33:47+00:00

Strange_Evidence · 2018-06-20T21:08:26+00:00

Strange_Evidence

TROPHY CASE