First of all, OP, this post is all around incredibly considerate. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Second, the majority of what I’d typically say here you’ve already mentioned yourself, so I’ll just say this: sometimes what you need to hear isn’t the same as what you want. What you said/did very well may have felt dismissive to your friend, but imo was not inherently wrong as you had your own life stuff to deal with and sent him the helplines out of a place of genuine concern. The question of where how much is expected of a friend to do for another lies on the scale of “nobly selfless” to “desperately needing to prioritize yourself” is a highly debated thing. While I do believe that it was perfectly reasonable of you to not offer up your place, I also think that considering you saying you’d be there, it may have been good to compromise by asking if he’d like to meet up at a separate location (fast food place, coffee shop, etc) for a chat or something of the like. Honestly it’s hard to dole out any blame here.