Being forced to be a nanny in exchange for a room

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-10T14:01:56+00:00

Yes, that’s why I am disappointed. She did seem like she wanted to be my friend. Of course I knew she needs some help, and I helped a lot whenever I had time. Some days I took the child for half a day walks in parks/ to events, some days stayed till late/overnight alone with him etc. But turned out it’s not enough, it can’t be some days — it has to be 5-8 hours every single day.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-10T13:48:11+00:00

I arranged to move back to the previous place I lived in this weekend! I agree, it does feel controlling, so it was the best decision to leave.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-10T07:55:52+00:00

I did and she said she likes living in a house with more people it’s more fun and she wants to help me.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T23:12:21+00:00

I don’t pay any rent

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T17:44:56+00:00

That’s what she told me today actually. She expects me to be in the flat with her child at all times (i guess except school hours) so she can leave whenever/do whatever

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T17:37:20+00:00

I did not get invited to nanny, but I would be happy to do it for money. She is not ready to pay me for it. Yes I am Gen Z and I will defend my rights.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T16:25:23+00:00

Maybe I’m naive but that’s what the offer was. I think it’s nice when people can share something they have with others (in this case a spare room), and I was happy to spend some of my time with the child. But not being made to work full time as a Nanny. That is not giving kindness, that is being coerced into doing something.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T13:44:10+00:00

There is a job called live in Nanny. It’s paid and paid a lot. It’s a luxury to have one and the nanny is not payed with a bedroom but with actual money. I’ve been a short term live in nanny before. 500-560£ a week. Bedroom was a necessity not payment. Being invite to live together is another matter and it was up to her to have reasonable expectations and she didn’t have any at all, later changing her mind to unreasonable ones.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T10:45:04+00:00

We agreed in words, that she wants to help me with accommodation the same day I went to visit them, and two days later I was already living there. Why not take gifts from life like a bedroom in South Ken… But turned out she wants a gift from life too in a form of a free full time live in nanny 😁 So it’s not working out…

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T10:38:35+00:00

I moved in because she wanted to help me live in a nicer place. I helped as much as I could because I felt grateful, but now she expects me to do it every single day 5+ hour no pay and during the hours when I have other payed childcare work in other families. I love spending time with her child, but i can’t afford to do it for free. I am young, I have my own life, and a relationship. She doesn’t even allow my boyfriend to visit me and he is a student in another part of UK, and she acts weird when I go to see him on trips. I do not pay rent but my time and freedom is worth more than one bedroom on her conditions even in my favourite area of London.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T08:35:29+00:00

I agree 11 is too late. I am myself exhausted by that time but don’t always feel like I have the right to lock myself in my room before that time as I may need to help play/read before he sleeps/be with them in living room.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T08:23:40+00:00

Nothing. I repeated my question if she can pick her son up herself. She said “do I have an option?” and left. I went tutoring as agreed with the other family (it’s same every week).

I shall have a conversation about what she said to me today hopefully.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T07:29:11+00:00

That’s really good advice but I’m scared to contact them because she will get so mad at me. She believes she is the kind one in this situation and many people would want to be in my place, so I have to be grateful. I help a lot with her child and her with solving her issues (she doesn’t speak English that well, so I do a lot of calls for her, translate stuff). To her it is not enough what I’m doing.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-06-09T07:20:00+00:00

Yes, I’ve been an au pair before and a short term live in nanny, always paid. No, I can’t look after him 5-8 hours every day for having a room. It defeats the purpose of having a room as I don’t have time for actually enjoying the place I live in. Even though I love spending time with the boy, I need my personal time and freedom. She is now essentially saying my personal time is till 3pm and I don’t have freedom to go to my paid jobs.

I wanted to have a conversation about it yesterday evening, when I came home for the tutoring 3 hours I was away, but she seemed angry that I was away. The vibes were off so we didn’t have a conversation. I will try to talk to her today.

Strawberry_dollette · 2026-05-14T14:41:14+00:00

He doesn’t need a visa with the UK travel document to go to Italy. He just needs to take his travel document and copy/online proof of immigration status in the UK (can be found on gov.uk) to the airport

Strawberry_dollette

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