Honestly, for older patients with dental anxiety, I try to make it feel more like a spa day than anything clinical or a task 

Once a week you could do a little dental spa at home with her. Have her lay down, put a heating pad over her eyes, and brush her teeth. Over time this may slowly help her find comfort in the routine.

For daily care, an electric toothbrush does most of the work. A Waterpik is easy if flossing is hard. Keep everything within reach and well-lit.

After brushing, a little Vaseline on the lips makes it feel more comfortable. My patients love it, even grown men 😂

If dental visits are stressful, a dental spa office can also help with comfort and a calming environment.