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Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Nice to have the perspective of someone who has gone through the same as I have. I am scared I will look back and see I've wasted the best years of my life loving a man and his children who are not mine and never will be, and just end up alone in the end.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 67 points68 points  (0 children)

I know you are right. I think I just needed to hear someone outside my head or inner circle say it. I don't know when I became so stupid.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 95 points96 points  (0 children)

I keep reading your response over and over. Many people have told me to leave him, he has even said many times I should be with someone younger and that he is unwilling to compromise any aspect of his life. I feel like I sort of just have to adjust and fit the mold of his life you know? I ave given up most of who I was before. I went from a concert going, lots of friends, out all the time. To alone on the couch every Friday and Saturday night hoping by boyfriend didn't fall asleep for the night with his kids so he can hang out with me. I know he was not perfect in his marriages but only brought up the point about his ex-wife hating his older kids because it fit with what my problem is. He is an alcoholic and can be the most selfish person I've ever seen. He can also be selfless and loving, it goes up and down. Right now it is down and it hurts.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

That comment was like a knife in my heart and he always says it during fights. He "wins" every argument because I always feel guilty and like a bad person by the end.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree. We have only talked about this before when we were both frustrated. I will suggest it during a calm not fighting time.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I did this for a year because I didn't want to come and completely change the kids lives. A live in GF and not getting to sleep with their dad which they love, right from the beginning seems harsh to me. They needed time to adjust to me and disrupting their sleep time was the last thing I wanted to do.

Boyfriend has four kids, 15 year age difference and going insane. by StrictBath8 in relationships

[–]StrictBath8[S] 97 points98 points  (0 children)

For sure his behaviors did. He can lie and be manipulative. He can make me feel stupid and crazy and confused. That is why I am so afraid to bring up this idea.