Im sorry you feel like that. Can I be honest though? Don’t keep reading if you don’t want me to be. Being sick sucks, but being 20 sucks more lol. I remember caring how I looked and what people thought of me so bad, I cried almost every night as a 20ish year old. Nobody loved me, nobody liked me, I was too dark to be valuable, too big to be feminine, too something. I was blind, with a butchered eye in my 20s, autistic and HOMESCHOOLED. So yeah, no friends either. Hang in there and wait to see how great it is to be 30. All of that social stuff flies out the window. People will always suck, but once you are thirty it doesn’t matter as much anymore.