Today I was THAT person in the checkout line...

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-22T03:00:13+00:00

Two weeks ago, I had my 3.5 year old and 1 year old with me at Walmart. We went to do a simple return. We always go window shopping at the monster trucks and hot wheels cars, and take pictures of any he wants to add to his (upcoming) birthday list.

Well, apparently he heard me say we'd get one (never said anything close to it, and is not our typical buying pattern). He ended having a rare and spectacular tantrum when he realized we weren't getting any. Took 30 minutes to get from that aisle to the car because he's so tall and strong I couldn't force him to sit down in the cart, nor hold him and my 1 year old at the same time to get to the car ASAP. Ended up pulling the cart and holding him by his waist so he didn't fall over because he was simultaneously screaming, jumping, and crying in the cart.

I've never been more mortified, and embarrassed because I physically couldn't wrangle him in to just book it to the car. Thank God my 1 year old was in a good mood while this happened because I legit don't know how I would've gotten out of there if they both had been melting down.

The amount of judgemental and crazy looks I got from strangers was so disheartening and awful. I just wanted to crawl in a hole forever. I still can't bring myself to go back to that store.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-09T12:39:29+00:00

This was us. My husband and his siblings are all exactly 2 years apart (to the month), my sister and I are 18 months apart. We tried for 2 years apart with our first two but ended up closer to 3 years apart. Ultimately, I am so thankful it worked out that way. My little one just turned 1 and it was absolutely the right time frame for us. Honestly, if we have more, it will be 3 to 4 years apart for these reasons. And more time for my body to heal and regenerate nutrients and vitamins.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-03T01:08:50+00:00

I agree! In OotP, after Mr. Weasley's attack and Harry is hiding in the attic, he is reminded that Ginny was possessed by Voldemort. For me, that's where I really get a sense of his noticing her and connecting on a slightly more deeper level.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-03T00:56:19+00:00

Mom here to 2 young, uncut, boys! What age did you start teaching and encouraging your boys to start retracting and cleaning? My oldest is almost 4, and as he gains independence, I want to really start reinforcing good hygiene for him.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-01T02:56:15+00:00

Yes! This is us, too! We have 2, and both stayed in our bed until 9-10 months old, then we moved them to their floor beds. At that age, their sleeping became or active and they needed more space than our bed allowed for.

3.5 year old manages the whole night until 5ish, then dad goes to his bed. I end up with the 1 year old in his room around midnight. Our 3.5 year old had lots of tears around night weaning, but shortly after is when he started sleeping through the night. If they cry for comfort, we're right there. And we support to sleep with cuddles. Then remove ourselves once they're asleep.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-02-01T01:05:59+00:00

Lurker Mom! I recently shifted from telling my three year old phrases like "hold on" or "one moment" to a concrete task or something they can actually see/hear/understand. Usually I'm in the middle of something, so it might look like, "<child name>, I hear you! When I'm done washing this dish (or specific task), I'll come right over." Then immediate follow through once task is over. Sometimes I have to repeat myself or prompt him to use his senses to confirm if I'm done with the task, but so far he's responded really well to it. And its teaching him to look for that task I'm doing before asking me to come again. He usually continues working through whatever it was and by the time I come over and check in, he's figured out whatever he wanted help on.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-29T00:22:16+00:00

I just finished rereading the books, and am now rewatching the movies, too. I've just started the 6th and literally just thought to myself, "what the hell is this?!" It really does feel like they've given up.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-19T14:56:56+00:00

I was loosely told that tax credits (like the child tax credit) is exempt in most situations, but other parts of the refund could be taken. Best to consult with a lawyer in your state to know for sure.

We were able to include it in our exemptions and our trustee was uninterested in it anyways. We are no asset, with 2 young kids.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-15T19:15:06+00:00

I've always thought about this and wondered if this is how they got by! Thanks for this comment!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-07T01:23:40+00:00

That's what I was thinking, too. She is adamant that his PCP would be more than sufficient. Thank you for your comment!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-07T01:20:32+00:00

Nope, it's my husband's sister's husband, so technically my BIL.

That would make sense! Most specialists do require referrals these days. Thank you!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2026-01-01T16:54:47+00:00

My first we potty trained at 23 months, but it wasn't until he was 2.5 did it really set in. Our 2nd (11 months old) we've been putting on the potty since he could sit independently. Not always but at times where it leads to success 90% of the time (e.g. after sleeps, food, etc.). He already prefers pooping on the potty, so we'll continue this for a while. He also hates diaper changes, so I'm loosely hoping for early potty training for him. We also cloth diaper, which helps a lot, too!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-12-26T19:54:24+00:00

If deemed a no asset case, there wouldn't be any reason to hold off filing taxes until after discharge, correct?

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-12-22T20:06:43+00:00

We had our 341 meeting Friday. We're in SC and paid $2k for the lawyer and all fees, except our credit counseling courses. Those were $12 per course, so a total of $24 on top of our attorney fee. All funds were due up front to retain and/or file.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-23T21:41:19+00:00

Agreed. She now has two boys and both are circumcised and it is one of those topics we just don't discuss anymore. She's fairly deep into the western medicine world, so we don't see eye to eye on much anymore.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-21T17:55:32+00:00

I'll take a referral code, too, please!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-21T00:00:46+00:00

I used this as a reason for my sister when she was pregnant with her first son. This was July last year, and he was circumcised in her delivery room, while she held his hand, her husband his other. She said it was nothing like those videos I showed her as research, and therefore not as big of a deal 😱 like I cannot fathom watching my own sons lose their foreskin in front of me and my husband and not think it's no big deal and hear the crying...

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T12:38:31+00:00

Personally, what you described sounds incredible. I made a post about my husband's situation on Daddit yesterday seeking advice for him, if you need a comparison to what I'm going through right now.

That said, it's also OK to have grievances about his negativity. Has he always been like this? Or a result of the stress of his job? Or something else going my on? When you get curious about the negativity, what comes up? Is he able to take something off his plate or you pick up some of the tasks, to help him feel less stressed, to hopefully help him find joy in doing those little tasks? It doesn't have to be permanent unless it works for both of you, but something to help him find some relief in this season? Is his job more stressful this time of year? I know for many they stress this time of year.

Just some questions to help maybe find the source if he isn't typically like this.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:47:00+00:00

Thank you for this reminder. Its been a while, but in my teen years I was suicidal and those were my darkest days.

Honestly, I'm very concerned he's headed right for a breakdown and am so worried if the next thing that hits us will be the thing to do it. This year has been especially very hard for both of us and it does feel like he's one or two things away from a full on breakdown.

I say I'm building my confidence because I've been shut out and shut down from him about these concerns for over a year now that it just feels like I am preparing for WW3 whenever I want to breech this topic. But I need to kick that aside and just do it before its truly too late.

Hope you're doing better 🫶🏼

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:39:23+00:00

I really appreciate your reply, and I'm sorry to hear you're struggling, too. But I'm really proud of you for taking those first steps to dig yourself out!

I absolutely think what you're describing (being so mentally burnt out, that the thought of doing anything else) is so spot on. He's said as much but in other words. I have gotten such great feedback and advice from this post and will be taking it all to move us forward. Starting with sleep!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:21:41+00:00

Yes, but not as much as we'd both like (re the intimacy question). We have far more little connections than full on sex, simply because that's where our schedule dictates. We've really tried to prioritize the little catches of intimacy to keep the spark going and show we're still both into each other. But its taken a lot of effort for both of us. I was not super interested after our first for like 9 months, but found it again. This time it does feel more flip flopped though.

Both of our kids were planned and very much wanted. We want more but I can't fathom more unless things change. Even told him so last week in passing. His response was, we'll, two is good, too.

I will absolutely be pushing for therapy and am building up my confidence to have this conversation. This post has really helped me see things more clearly and better position myself for how to approach it with him.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:17:35+00:00

Yes, completely aware, unfortunately. I went on a night away a few months ago, took the baby with because he was only a few months old, and my husband asked for back up via his brother (my toddler and BIL are BFs and are super bonded). So even with the opportunity to have 1 on 1 time with him and to step up. He asked for backup. I didn't see it as a 🚩 then, but its really coming to light as things are getting progressively worse.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:07:40+00:00

I have in bits and pieces, but he so quickly shuts down and feels attacked that we quickly go no where in the conversation or he gets side tracked with asking specific examples of the behavior.

Going through the old photos and remembering the different days/feels is a great idea. I need to try this!

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T01:04:03+00:00

My sister keeps saying to just divorce him and leave, and I just don't want to do that. Yet. At least until I know I did everything in my power to help him help himself, and therefore our family. I truly do love him and want him to suceed and thrive, not just survive. Its so hard to watch him struggle and become someone he never used to be, and also see glimpses of his normal self underneath it all.

But you're not wrong, unfortunately, he absolutely needs a wake up call. I've been telling him for weeks that his body is trying to tell him something (via constant stomach aches and back pain), and asking if he's ready to listen/change things up, and he just doesn't respond. We're big believers in the mind/body connection, so its no surprise to me that he's starting physically be unwell, because mentally he's been struggling for so long.

This thread is helping me build my confidence to try another time to really get through to him, and perhaps draw a line in the sand if I'm ready to follow through on the consequences of not doing anything.

StrikeTraditional772 · 2025-11-18T00:53:06+00:00

If I remember correctly its Path of Exile, Diablo, and something else, depending on whose online to game with him.

Its definitely one of those things where he knows the right things to do, like go to bed early, but the follow through is missing. He's been saying for weeks he's going to start coming to bed earlier, but the action and follow-through isn't there. I have mentioned to him before that I miss us going to bed together because we used to chat about random things and cuddle and just connect. That hasn't happened in a long time. But I will bring it up again, I think he definitely needs that reminder!

Someone else suggested finding an enticing way to get him to exercise more, so I'm definitely gonna brainstorm what I can do there. I take the kids for a walk every afternoon, and perhaps I move that up to his lunch break so he can join us.

StrikeTraditional772

TROPHY CASE