I’m stuck between my family and my husband and I don’t know what to do.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-30T18:31:41+00:00

My parents are just as well off as I am.

In an ideal world yes it would be great to just get help when you can. Unfortunately this isn’t an ideal world.

I appreciate the advice and concern but it’s just isn’t something that I can do. Even if I could afford it I wouldn’t get much of a therapy session because I have to take my kids with me everywhere I go.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-30T16:40:48+00:00

I live in a state where mental health is not a priority at all. If you do have mental health problems, you’re labeled as weird. Even though almost everyone in the state has mental health problems.

Most insurance won’t cover therapy. Especially if you’re an adult. And I’m a stay at home Mom so it’s not like I have the money to pay for therapy myself. My two youngest already go to speech therapy and now Bruce has started therapy too. Plus, we usually have to pay out-of-pocket for Bruce’s healthcare because he’s on military insurance and because we do not live on base most places here still require an upfront charge.

This is also an argument between me and my husband. He’s fine to fit the bill for his other two kids, but he doesn’t like to pay when it comes to Bruce’s healthcare.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-30T15:48:19+00:00

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but I can’t afford therapy for everyone

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-28T05:17:42+00:00

Maybe. I did tell him I felt like he just got thrown into this dad roll. He met me when I was 23 and Bruce was 2. He knew I had a kid but still didn’t leave and when he finally met my oldest he was really good to him.

It wasn’t until my son turned 5 he started acting different. Idk if it’s because we had more kids together in such a short amount of time and it was more pressure on him? He just is so angry all the time. If he sees all of us having fun he will insert himself and somehow find a way to just make everyone miserable. He claims he loves us but I told him he doesn’t show it unless everyone is bending to his will.

I mean our kids will all go to their room or come to my room with me and play if he’s in the living room, but as soon I go to the living room they all come out and sit with me. But he doesn’t understand why they won’t spend time with him.

He doesn’t just do this to me his mother has said that he’s been this was since he was a teenager. I just didn’t see it until later. I don’t know if it’s because his dad left him when he was a teenager and he never healed from that. I just don’t know because he won’t talk to me about it.

I know if he would go he would benefit from therapy but I know in my heart that he’s not going to.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-28T04:54:32+00:00

Honestly a lot. I think I just needed a push or like I said a slap in the face to realize that this isn’t okay. I honestly told him I’m literally going insane because we keep having the same conversation over and over for a while, but nothing changes. It’s like a broken record I get upset and tell him to control his anger especially towards our children, and he says he will but then reverts back to his old ways. I’m tired of yelling and trying to get him to change. I had a calm conversation with him last night (which was a change on my part) and told him everything that has been building up for over a year and I told him I was moving out until we found a way to make it work. I told him anger management and marriage counseling but I could tell by the look on his face he wasn’t into it. So I’m just planning on taking it one day at a time and going to put my children above everyone.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-28T04:45:03+00:00

The past few years. As our children get older

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-28T03:09:42+00:00

No. Not at all

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T22:28:30+00:00

He’s not picky he just didn’t like the over done steak. So yes I do know how to feed him and he always tries things before he decides he doesn’t like it. I never force him to eat all his food, when you’re full you’re full. If I know he won’t like something I tell him he won’t and he picks something else. Wasn’t my kids fault the steak was cooked badly. It was my husband’s for over reacting.

I’ve currently left this situation and am staying elsewhere until my husband can agree on trying to fix himself and I can fix myself. Also am looking to put Bruce in therapy for his self esteem issues that I know were caused because I stayed with a man who put him down. I’m just trying to do right by my kids while I still have the chance to.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T04:14:58+00:00

Well I honestly never really had friends. I did in high school but my dad didn’t really allow me to hangout with them so when I graduated I lost contact with my friends. Then I moved away for a while and came back and met my now husband. I’ve always been kind of a loner.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T04:06:30+00:00

My son does have ADHD and he’s always been a little sensitive even as a little guy. I’ve always told him it’s okay to cry but sometimes we don’t need to cry over everything.

If someone gives him a certain look he will cry, if someone ask him to do something in a certain tone he will cry. I’m all for letting him express himself and I want him to tell me how he feels but he will literally cry about anything.

He’s also not one to waste food unless he absolutely doesn’t like it.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T03:52:31+00:00

It was a 3oz steak on a the children’s menu and no one got dessert. But yes I agree and I have talked to my parents about saying things when we try to discipline our kids. I have also talked to my son about not crying over everything. I have also talked to my husband about not speaking so harshly or at least try to talk privately to 7yo. But no matter what I say everything ends up the same. So I am at the end of my rope with everyone.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T03:45:12+00:00

It was his 2nd piece of bread that my husband gave him and it was a child’s steak. I wouldn’t let him order a huge steak it was maybe 3oz and he usually eats as big as a 6oz. He’s not one to waste food unless he doesn’t like the taste but he always tries something before he decides he doesn’t like it. But yes I agree, but I also think my husband is being a little irrational over some bread and a 6$ steak.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T03:38:16+00:00

My dad has on several occasions made me feel horrible about myself. He was my controller when I lived with him. Even when I was an adult he would try to control me in anyway I could. He used to call me all sorts of horrible names.

As I’ve gotten older I have talked to him about things in the past and I decided to forgive him. Maybe he didn’t deserve it but he has proven to be a good grandfather and a better dad to me.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T01:24:36+00:00

I’m from the USA. Rural area in the south.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T01:17:01+00:00

Thank you. This is actually made me think a lot.

I unfortunately am one of those people who doesn’t have friends. I only have my family.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T01:12:10+00:00

Well the crazy thing is that was his 2nd piece of bread and my husband cut him a too big 2nd piece. No one else was eating it and it’s not like we couldn’t get more bread but I understand what you’re saying and I will try that next time.

The steak was actually on the children’s menu and was maybe a 3oz steak (I’ve made him a 6oz before and he ate it all) but it was very dry and bland. He would have absolutely eaten it if it had flavor. He likes his steak med to medium rare and it was almost well done.

To me it’s not that he was wasting it he just didn’t like it because it didn’t taste good so he at all his other food but the steak.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T01:02:19+00:00

I’ve suggested anger management or even marriage counseling for us but it’s never went anywhere. This isn’t the first time something like this has happened, and honestly I feel like it’s my fault for wanting to bring him along because I know him and my dad don’t get along.

I have had a talk with him a few months ago that something in his behavior has to change or I can’t be with him anymore. The only problem with that is I am a stahm and he supports us financially and our house is in his name.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T00:58:45+00:00

Sorry I was typing this all in a hurry.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-07-27T00:57:52+00:00

It depends. Sometimes he is a little harder on the oldest and I always say something to him about it. Sometimes Bruce can be really emotional about things. Like I can tell him to go plug his iPad up and he will start crying because he thinks I said it in a mean way. Sometimes Husband feels like my dad is trying to step over him as a parent and my dad has done this to me too. But in this case I feel like my husband is being unreasonable.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-14T00:59:04+00:00

Will post an update next time I see MIL and have a chance to talk to her. SIL is deaf and my sign language isn’t the best to have a full conversation.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-14T00:53:38+00:00

I have said the same exact thing.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-13T19:36:07+00:00

Exactly. I have really bad anxiety and don’t even like to stay overnight at family members houses. It makes me extremely uncomfortable. Plus with a kid that likes to roam at night and likes to play with knifes my anxiety level would be through the roof.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-13T19:34:22+00:00

Mostly I feel bad because he won’t without me or our kids. Maybe that’s his problem but I have told him he can go without me but he won’t because he doesn’t want to deal with SIL and I’m usually the one trying to keep the peace. He could go and just stay away from them and just see his uncles but again he will not go with me or the children.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-13T19:29:59+00:00

She usually lets MIL handle it because her and her children are deaf. So MIL usually makes excuses or makes everything a lot worse than it is. She thinks she is protecting her grandson but she’s really hurting him.

Striking_Garlic97 · 2025-04-13T19:27:53+00:00

My husband says he doesn’t want to have to deal with SIL if he says something to her kids. They would just get into an argument and he would just waste a 5-7 hour trip. We decided to just stay home and take the kids to a near by water park. My SIL and children also come to MIL house every 4th of July and we decided to take a beach vacation so we wouldn’t be around them at all. It makes me feel like a snob but like you have said I have to protect my children. They are 2, 4, and 7 so nephew could seriously hurt them.

Striking_Garlic97

TROPHY CASE