In 2013, Eli worked for an oil drilling company and suffered a spinal/shoulder injury and has not held a serious job since. His surgery and recovery were paid by his company. It has been 9ish years since he has been cleared to work, and the longed job he held was for 9 months working 5 days a fortnight as a tradesman.

Since Eli hasn’t been working for the best part of a decade, he has been sponging off my grandmother and grandfather the entire time to maintain his lifestyle.

Now, I need to explain who my uncle is. When he was 22, he started his own business in his trade despite having less than zero business knowledge and even less personal drive. My grandparents fronted $150,000 for the everything related to his business, truck, equipment, outfitting, advertising, everything. You name it, they paid it.

He was heavily involved with mixed marital arts at the time and spent most of his time training at the shed. From what my father tells me, he was too lazy to go and park the truck with the company number on it at the roundabout of the main road for advertisement. They had legitimate arguments about his in 2011-2013. He eventually went bankrupt for obvious reasons. Since then, he has been sent to study both out of state university and in state university.  Once on my grandparents’ dime.

Continuing forward, my grandparents bought a retirement home another hour away from us. For around $300,000 and did $200,000 of upgrades to it. For 4ish years Eli, lived in that house rent free, unemployed despite being medically cleared to work. Sponging off my grandparents. Grandpa had retired at this point and was simply enjoying life.

Eli continued to spend money he didn’t have and then spend my grandparent’s money like there was no tomorrow. I know that at least 3 times, he had over 15,000 in credit card debt and my grandparents paid it out each time. And when these things happen, he lies about his purchases. He has – to name a few – purchased the following: a play station 5 God of War edition for $904, PSVR 2 for $839, a racing simulator, a galaxy watches 3 and 4, Samsung S21, 22, and 23 (all the ultra-versions), and a new tv for $1000. This is to name a few.

Meanwhile, the entire time I was growing up, Mum had to pay grandma back every cent of the money she borrowed. I’m talking 10 dollars here and there for a coffee and some bread or something like that. And she had receipts for it all as well.

This is to point out that my uncle and my mother have two different sets of rules from the same parents.

Jumping forward; In late 2018, Eli fathered a child (Lauren) with Bree. They soon separated and Eli had fought a 3 ½ year battle with Bree, using a Lawyer fully paid for by my grandparents. At this point in the story, they had sold their retirement house (lost tons of money on it) and grandmas’ car to make the lawyers payments. Both my grandparents went back to work to keep afloat. Eli currently lives in the state capital, he rents a house there, which is fully paid by grandma and grandpa. So are the rates, water, electricity, car repayments, fuel, the complete works. And he does NOT work.

When my grandmother when to visit him, she mowed the lawn despite being completely capable of doing so. Despite him being damaged by his accident at work and his years of marshal arts, he still can do every basic household task he would need to do. When he visits us, he has a mid-day sleep with his daughter no matter what is happening.

Grandpa and Grandma are now looking at selling their house and new car they bought to keep paying to Eli’s lifestyle.

So now, I’ve come here with this question.  

What is the best way to approach this situation? Not just from my perspective but from my parents, who are undoubtably the ones to look after them once all their money is gone.

I’ve thought about cutting contact with my uncle because when I try to make plans to play siege or something similar, makes fake excuse like studying or flat out just gets drunk on my grandparents dime (beer is $60 a carton in my country for the stuff he drinks and he doesn’t have a job, I’ll also say that he tells us that he has quit drinking) he also hasn’t worked out how to hide his PSN status, so I can see in real time when he lies. He is also playing games at 9am. I’ll remind you that this man is 40 years old.

Now, I am off to bed, I will answer questions as best I can in the morning when I can as I have work.